J. - Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc.
Transcripción
J. - Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc.
A P&hdftn d Seveffi@AdantE* Gay Men and Ledriars ad fteL Ebrds kbruary 1988 Vdrme 12, Number 2 Congranrlations to these Kinship couples. This issue is dedicated to you since we are movedbothbyyourlove and by your tenacity. We wish you all well formany years to come -J. Vicki Shelton & Emy Lou Johnson, ? Jesse Martin & Don Bishop, April 1, 1984, almost 4 years ? Karen Abate & Carol SoIoCortright & Dennis Deming, May 18, 1980, almost 8 years Jones & ? E. Janice Young, tvlay 26, 1986, almost 2 yeanl & Jane Cable, July18, suit against Kinship JanuarJr 10, 1968, 20 years monr lvlay 11, 1986, almost 2 years ? Corky SDA church files ? Gwenda Green 1987, 7 months? Bernie Ochoa As the Cowuaionwas going to press, we have learned tkt the General Confe,r,ence of Sventhday Adventiss has brouglt suit against SDA Kinship, dleging that the use of Seventhday Adventist in Kinship's ofricial nerrre (Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International,Inc.) is an infraction under trademark and other laws. The suit is being brought in fed€ral district court in the central district of California. Morc details in future issues of theConruction. & BiIl Downing, July 29,1976,10 years? Marge Doyle & Dee Gerken, October 17 I Paul Wilcox Peterson, October 20, 1983, 4 years Marsha J. Langford, October " & Rob Lin Ennis & n ,1985,2 years? Jon- athan & David, November L8, 1960, 27 yeadl Etizabeth & Marianne, Decembe r7, 1983,4 years? ? ????"?"???????""???"???" @ 1S8, Kirship lntemational t ?? Weddlngs and sup0ort$tems 2 Tylng the htot illom ldeas "Don't Hold Back" Aslan-Paclflc lestlans and [ays 10 lleus notes Looldng lor $e stlver llnlng 11 KinshipConrrcclion, February1988 1 The monthly publication ol SDA Kinship lnternational, lrr. Box 3840, Los Angeles CA 90078 (213) 876-2076, (408) 866,015e TDD Editorial Board Lin Ennis Editol Giammozi Layout Edilor Larry Hallock Associat6 Edito. Elilabeth Heart Associalo Editor John Heelan Associato Edilor Mike Md,rthur Associato Editor l,4iolrael Mclau0hlln Associals Editor Roberl Foerch Dlstrlbutlon Managar Kent Conkibutors Marie Crofoot Conlributirg Editor GwendaGreen Contributlng Edilot Jobe Contributing Editor Ph.D. Contributing Edilor Jesse L. Marlln Contribding Editor Ren Reynolds Cortributing Editol N4ark Honaker Koying Assistanl Hal Ron Lawson, Kinship Board Msmbgrs Robert F, Bouchard Prosid8nt Marge Doyle Vice President Pamela Roborls Secrotary Errol L. Chamness Trcasursr Lin Ennis Connaailbr Editor Gray Public Rolatlons DirEctol Vacant Church Liaison David Ren Reynolds Worrn's Coodinatol Soilicss Direclol Crofml Member at Large obed Vasquez Mombsr al Laes Jym Sluart lnl0rmalion Marie Marsha J. Lanolord Mombs. at Largs GwendaGreen Member atLarye Regi0ml Directors Listed on page 12 SDA Kinship lnlernational, lnc. is a worldwide support group for Sevenlh-day Advenlisl (former or Hrrent) oay rnen and lesbians and their lriends. Kinship also provides educalional malerials and speakers lor lndividuals and groups deslring 0realer understanding ol honnsexuallty and related issues and monthly publishes the SDAKinship Connedion,an losplrational and informalional joumal for our members and lriends. The subscription rate ls $24 per year US, $22 lor members, $15 l0r addllional subscriptions. lnlernallonal postaoe (oulside US, Canada, Mexico) is $10 extra. Letlen, arlicles, pictures, arl and other materials are soliclled from 0ur readership. lnclxda yo[t namo as you il publiEhod. Copy deadllne is the first ol the mnth prior to publlcation. Copy will be edited f$ spa$, clarity and want inclusive language. Materials cannol be returned withoul prior arranoement. Address all submissions lo the editor, Lin Ennis, 6716 Clybourn Ave. Sulte l38, Nodh Holllyvmd, CA.91606 Phone (818) 762-2396. The appsarance of names or photographs of Wrsons or or0anlzalions should not be construed as any indicali0n 0l the alfectional 0r sexual orienlalion ot the person named or shovn. opinions expressed herein are nol necessarily lhose 0l SDA Kinship lnternalional, lnc nor of the Srl4 /(irship Connecti\n stall. Suhcriplion requests and address changes should be CA 90078. our senl l0 SDA Kinship, 80x 3840, Los Anoeles mailing list is confidenlial among of{icers and stafl and is not sold, Ienled, or exchanged lor any purpose. 2 Kinship Connection, February 19BB Right of passage By Marsha J. Langford and Lin Ennis gleaming pride that the waitress, otr waitress was her granddaughter. I did not tell her that Lin and I were brides had to skip my friend that day. Melinda's wedding because, without realizing it, I was preparing for my own. Later that evening, in Lin's apartI made communion, and quietly, solemnly, we exchanged vows of commitment. More than two years have passed, and Melinda and John and Marsha and Lin are still couples, so what does it matter if our couplings were marked by an elaborate celebration done by priests in brocade vestments, followed by a feast and a wild celebration, or by the gift of a single rose, a lingering glance across a coffee shop table and a private exchange of communion vows late at night? A public ceremony is just the beginning of making a statement that our relationship needs as much support as Melinda and John's and is just as valuable as Melinda and John's. In terms of the essence of our relationship, the only difference is that John is a man. We should rise up in rage that our love that is equal to thein should be so discounted by our society. That John and Melinda's marriage has survived may very well be due to the myriad of supports available from absolutely every area of their lives: church, family, work, the IRS, govemment in general, friends, people at the bank, doctors, etc. Every priest at St. Charles Borromeo Church is trained to respond immediately to the least difficulty in Melinda's and John's relationship. As I was helping my housemate move out, I passed by St. Charles Borromeo Church just as the service was ending and caught a glimpse of my old friend standing on the steps. She looked exquisite in her white lace gown (really Melinda!), her new husband, John, standing by her side looking regal in a grey morning coat. They were surrounded by a ttrrong of people, many of whom were our mutual friends. Later, there would be dancing, a sit down dinner for 200 and the giving of gifa. At home, I tended to the ravages of my housemate's move-sweeping, mopping, etc.,-packed a suitcase and caught a few hours' fitful sleep. At 6:00 a.m. my sister Kelly arrived, a little rumpled, to drive me to thc Los Angeles airport. Lin met me at, the Chicago airport and presented me with a single red rose. Our kiss and embrace at the airport was, of course, abbreviated because two women or two men do not exchange lingering kisses in public regardless of the occasion. I imagined that the kiss we shared in public differed radically from the kiss that Melinda and John shared in church, in front of God and everyone the day before. So here we were, brides. Secret brides. Somewhere on the way from Chicago to South Bend, we stopped at Denny's for our "wedding fs351"-6 turkey melt, a cheese sandwich and two orders of fries. There must have been at least one hundred people there, but none of them were mutual friends of Melinda's and mine, and nobody danced. Instead, the eldeily woman sitting at the next table mld me with ment, - MJL We hold our relationships together without the benefit of institutionalization by church and state, the financial boost of shower and wedding gifs, hundreds of congratulations and inquiries into our welfare, automatic economic and legal mutuality, tax Please turn to the next page C ontinued from previous page deductions, mutual children and pressure from church leadership and careers to preserve it. I ttrink that makes us special. We work through our differences when people in the wings are praying for the passing of this "phase" we are in. Perhaps heterosexual couples can learn something from us. For one thing, Kinship couples seem to tolerate differences in each other better than Adventist heterosexual couples do. One example: mixed marriages. In many Kinship couples just about everything is mixed except gender: race, religion, professional status, etc. We don't come to life with a preconceived notion of one truth or reality being better than another. Once we accept the affectional difference that touches us in our most intimate pars, differences in othen seem remarkably superficial. If Adventists ruly believe ttrere will be Episcopali ans and Methodists and Jews and nonreligious people in heaven, why not their Episcopalian or Jewish or nonreligious spouses? Sure there is sometling to be said for picking a partner who possesses basic compatibility with you, but realize that compatibility cannot be conrolled by external rules any more than righteousness is generated by rules. In Kinship, differences are not just tolerated, they are leamed about and respected and celebrated. Another thing, we don'trole play as much as most heterosexual couples. When two women are together they are still nvo worhen; both are feminine however androgynous. Two men are still men, regardless of how they may tease each other. So lawn and laundry are likely to be divided up by taste and ability, not by gender. I was honified after having been married in *re state of Tennessee to discover it was my "duty" to cook for my husband. Read the fine print. However, progressive couples are redrawing marriage contracts, and happily, gay and lesbian couples are helping to lead the way. -LE There is still much to do for our own couples. Chiefly, we, the gay and lesbian community, should make *rr. full-fledged support of gay and lestiian relationships-not just ceremonies of union-a top priority. -MJL Three Kinship couples on a recent trip lo Muico: Mike and John (1&6) Bill and Betnie (2&4) Hal and Richard (3&5) KinshipConnection, February'1988 3 Tyingtheknot By Mlke McLaughlln ngagement, honeymoon, marriage, weddingdng, silver anniversary, divorce all terms familiar to us and yet foreign to orn relationships. How do gay and lesbian couples survive in a heterosexist society that excludes them from every supportive cststruct? We have asked four couples, from various backgrounds and locales, to provide us with insight into their special lives. Here they are: Vicki and Emy l-ou, ages 44 arld 42 respectively, met 2l years ago at Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska. They have been in a committed relationship for 20 years and now live in Denver, Colmado. Vicki works in the computer industry while Emy Lou manages a local finarrcial instinrtion. David and Jonathan are 46-year-old, teachers, and live in New York City. Last November they began their 28th year together in a commiced relationship. Marge is 30 years old and worls as direcOr of nursing utilization management at nvo local hospitals in Southern Califunia Dee is a nursing supervisor for a hospital basedMatemal Child Health Unit, and is 4O years old. They - Four Kinship couples share EE' J=. their secrets for building a relationship that can last a ltfetime. have been living ogether for mce than two years. Dee mainains two separate homes: her home with lvlarge and one for her four teenage children where she and her ex-husband altemate staying. In lvlay of 1980, Dennis and Corky met each other at a drinking fountain in the middle of a local Portlandpark. Corky is 39 and a landscape designer. Dennis is 35 and an orthodontist. They have lived logether for the past frve years. Conrtruud on next Page 4 Kinship Connection, February 1988 C o nti nued from pr evious pa ge Planning for financial security as a gay or lesbian couple can be difficult at best. How have you dealt with wills, pov'ers of attorney, checking and saving accounts, investments and the le gal o bstacle s that fac e non-traditional marriages? Emy Lou and Vicki: "We maintain two separate checking and saving accounts, but we are signed up on each other's accounts. We maintain them separately to provide for some independence. Our home is owned jointly by the nvo of us. One of us makes the house payment for six montls and then the otler one does for six months. For a while we each wrote a check for half the amount each month, but the bank found tlte practice confusing." "Emy Lou and I have met with an attrorney and had the necessary paperwork drawn up to provide for power of attorney in the event of a medical emergency. We also had wills prepared so that neither one of us would have [o worry about, losing our home or savings if our families decided to get nasty when one of us is gone. Our financial matters are blended togettrer as closely as they can be, and still be manageable." David and Jonathan: "We have always had joint checking and saving accounts. When we stafied out, we didn't have much money and no assets to speak of, so it was very easy for us to mix our finances. Just the idea of putting your money together builds trust. We use power of atrorney in business dealings, and are planning to arrange for its use in medical emergencies as well. We are each named as the beneficiary in each other's will." "We wouldn't recommend the joining of all assets in every situation. Everyone must decide for themselves what will work best in their situation. If you have assets, it might be beser to allow the relationship to mature for a few years before tying everything together." Marge and Dee: "We maintain separate finances in order to distance Marge from any legal ramifications should there be a problem associated with my financial obligations to my exhusband and children. I pay $735 a month in child support. I like having control over the money I earn." "It is just much simpler to have finances separate. Our home is in my "It has been very helpful in our relationship to have similar religious beliefs. But, that doesn't mean it is necessary for all couples to belong to the same organized church." - Emry Lou andVicki name, but we have a verbal agreement that Dee has equity built into it. The monthly payments, upkeep and any new furniture purchases are split almost 50-50. Wittr Dee's tremendous outlay for child support, it is not feasible for her to bear exactly 50 percent of the expenses." "We are now in the process of having wills and durable power of attorney forms drawn up. Each of our insurance policies names the other as beneficiary. Dee's also makes provisions for her children. Any further investrnents will be bought in joint tenancy with each other." Dennis and Corky: "For checking and saving accounts, we have his, mine, and ours. We use ours to make the house payment since the house is jointly owned. We also own several other pieces ofproperty, all held jointly. But it is just easier to keep our other finances separated. We do not have wills at this time; however, we are planning to obtain them in the near future. We have not even discussed the issue of power of attorney for medical or business purposes." How did your relationship evolve into a long-term commitment and is monogamy important? Yicki and Emy Lou: "After knowing each other as friends for a year we became roommates in college. Our relationship started out as an emotional one and later developed into a deeper and more caring one that included physical intimacy. The commitment to one another occurred at about the same time we became active sexually. It tmk us a long time !o reach that level in our relationship. It was not easy for us to resolve the issue of lesbian Christians. Once we did though, it has been heaven on earth." "Monogamy is important to the wellbeing of ourrelationship. We would feel insecure and jealous if infidelity occurred." Corky and Ilennis: "From the day we met we dated each other exclusively and decided almost immediately that this relationship was the right one. We kept separale apartments for two years before we bought our curent home together. Dennis would spend the weekends at my place and I would spend week nights at his place. We Continued on page six KinshipConnection, Februaryl9BB 5 Tying the knot Contirucdfrompagefive took our time in getting to know each other's faults and learning to love each other." "We have had discussions on the issue of monogamy.While it is very important to us, it is not an absolute. We are monogamous by choice, not because we have to be for the survival of our relationship. It is important not to make unbreakable rules." Dee and Marge: "Ours seemed to be a natural match. We are evenly marched on emotional, spiritual and intellectual levels. Our feelings for one another progressed rapidly into a committed relationship. We were committed to one anotler on an emotional level prior to any sexual relations." "Monogamy is important. However, we are human and it is held as an ideal. But if one of us is unfaithful, there is great potential for harm, though it is not grounds for immediate divorce." Jonathan and David: "Our relationship developed naturally in spite of difficulties. We lnew in our hearts within one week of meeting each other through a mutual friend that this was the right relationship. We were apart Monday through Friday for the first three years of our relationship. David drove over five hours one way every weekend from the university he was attending to Atlantic Union College, just so we could spend time together. We maintained separate residences for the first ten years. We saw each other every day though and have been living under the same roof since 1970." "At times we have sensed that individuals wanted to come between us. They soon realized that our desire to remain in our current committed relationship was of prime im1rcrtance." "Monogamy is important. Over the course of our relationship we have had several friends whose love for us and 6 Kinship Connection, February1988 ours for them developed into shared intimacies. These were not forays into adultery for sexual gratification. What we shared with those people was a deep sense of caring and love. We remain friends with them to this day, even now that they have gone on to relationships of their own." Our relationship has survived because we turned ourbacks on the church's teachings cmceming homosexuality. Our parents on both sides were excellent role models as loving Christian couples. They were a very positive influence on our lives. They are supportive of our relationship even though the issue of homosexuality has never been discussed direcfly." "We wouldn't recommend the joining of all assets in every situation. Everyone must decide for themselves what will work best in their situation.If you have assets, it might be better to allow the relationship to mnture for afew years before tying everything together." - David and Jonathan What Apes of support slstems arc available to lesbian and gay couples within your local community, church andfarnily? "Love is love. Whether itbe directed towards a man or a woman, the emotions you express and the feelings you have are the same. The gender does not ma0er." Yicki and Emy Lou: "The church as an organized strucnre offers no support However, there are members ofour local church, both sraight and gay, thu are very supportive. Most of our outside activities are planned with straight couples." 'Emy Lou's parents are still living and do notknow the depth ofour relationship. However, she does have one sister that refers to me as her sisterin-law. My parents are both deceased, and my bnothers and sisters do not know we are lesbians." Marge and Dee: "Our support comes from within ourrelationship. Besides the fellowship provided by Kinship, we have a few straight friends that are supportive. lvlarge's parents and brothers and sister love me and are very accepting." Dennis and Corky: "There are no organized support systems for couples in the Portland area- We have a small circle of couples that provides peer supporl We do not discuss our life with Dennis's parents. Corky's parents know and are supportive of our relationship. The only religious organization that is supportive of us is Kinship. The local church is unaware of our situation." David and Jonathan: "We receive no support from the church, nor have we felt the need for church support. Conrtnued on next page How has organized religion affecuil your relationship? Are similar religious beliefs a prerequkite b building a heahhy and successful relatianship? "We have had discussions on the issue of monogamy. While it B very tmportant to us, it is not an absolute. We are monogam.ous by choice, not because we have to be for the survival of our relationship.It is important not to make unbrealcable rules." beliefs. But, that doesn't mean it is necessary for all couples to belong to the same organized church." Marge and Dee: "Ours is one of those unequally yoked togettrer marriages that we were always warned about. Dee is Catholic and I am SDA. Organized religion has had little or no effect on our relationship. If we were to take organized religion seriously it would probably do our relationship harm. However, a personal relationship with God is essential in my life." "Similar religious beliefs are not necessarily a prerequisite to a good relationship. It is more imporant that you both have a reasonable self concept and a world view that is more positive than negative." Dennis and Corky: "Our reladonship started without religion and religion has not played an important role in our relationship." Dennis describes himself as a free spirit Adventist, attending church occasionally. Corky, a self proclaimed agnostic raised with a smattering of Methodist teachings says, "I struggle with a lot of $e teachings of all - Corlq and Dennis Emy Lou and Yicki: "It has effected lol Both of us are very active in us a our local church and were raised as Adventists. If we had not attended an Adventist college, we would have never mel But, the guilty feelings brought on by the Adventist teachings made it difficult for us to make a commitment to one another. We consider ourselves progressive Adventists and grow weary of the legalistic teachings of the chuch hierarchy." "It has been very helpful in our relationship to have similar religious churches. We tend to avoid strrong discussions conceming retgion. Religion is a very penonal experience and differences ofopinion can lead o rather heated arguments." "You don't have to have similar religious beliefs. The most imporrant thing is the closer you come to the same ideals the stronger the relationgrowing closer as ship will become time passes." - David and Jonathan: "We consider ourselves to be religious. God is an important part of our lives. We give thanks daily for what we are and what we have. In most of the long-term relationships we are familiar with, the individuals do not come from tle same church. Basic moral principles are more crucial than the organized church one comes from." What is the one hiddenfaetor that has made your union a success? Emy Lou and Vicki: "Communication and a willingness to work to resolve problems that arise. It has to be a give and take situation. We are in this thing for the duration and I'm not about to bail ouL" "Our commitrnent to one another is the most imporant thing in life." "What else is there?" Jonathan and David : "Development of trust is a top priority. Without trust you feel insecure and your love for one another will not blossom. There are givers and takers in this world. The "We believe that our love is genuine and all important and doesn't need proving all the time.We maintain a vision of having our relationship last until we are old and in matching rocking chairs." - Dee and Marge givers win by always being concemed for one another. It is not enough for each person to give 50-50. You have to give 100 percent. We have never used Contirurcd on page eight KinshipConnection, Februaryl9BB 7 Tying the knot from page seven affection as a tool or weapon against each other. Another secret of ours is to never go to sleep mad at each other. Once we get into bed and take each other in our arms, our love for one another motivates us to work through the problem no matter how big it is." Corky and Dennis: "We both like lhe same things. But, more than that, we know when to stop before we go too far in discussing a touchy topic. We are both stubborn. Each of us means too much to the other to force an issue. We know when !o shut up." Dee and Marge: "A basic respe.ct for one another and the ability to see that the other person is doing the best they can. You have to believe that you are loved by the other even in the face of conflicts and disagreements. We believe that our love is genuine and all important and doesn't need proving all the time. We maintain a vision of having our relationship last until we are old and in matching rocking chairs." Continued MOt..:iilffi:,,,ilil::, shjifigit0g[thoil ey:tih:Ennis oi,iyou..andi'your fEgtnei.,.,...,. have the same quarrels , voii reoeatedlv? Do l: . ! - 1|t.-- ,,.,. wonder whether other, couples figh1 oi how they stai togedler,Oi *6ur,,*Ur do,,fOi a,...., good time? Do ybU occasionally benefit from reminders to be loving or put sparkle in[o your lover's eycs? Would you spgnd $40 bn theiapy to keep four,ielatiqlrship succcssful? Then you might benetit from Parlners: , i Partners is America's only newiIetter written specificalii for gay and lesbian couples; The sample issnei.,,*e,ieceived (available foi $3 each) contained fascinating articles ,on conflict,fe3o-lution, male,,,:,,,,,,,,,,::,r :r, coupling, lesbian Cuiiodt fi gtru, :::::,::::: Do you have any Jinal words of wisdom to guide those of us just starting down the road of maital bliss? gayfl esbian Par:nqq, suryiving' lwo career relahonshlps! lntlmacy and stories on couples togettrer more Lhan En rears (a current series). fol ,: ' The brganization aso sent us a four page Couples rasource list and a complimen t on the C o nne c: tio n. Their eight page monthly is mailed first class in a peek-proof envelope. Subsiriptions are $36/ year, or US$59 for overseas. Resource list availabje for SASE. Partners, Box 9685, Seutle, WA 98 109, (206t 329-9140,. t Corky and Dennis I Kinship Connection, February 1988 Jonathan and David: "There can be no secrets. Not even little ones. Walls will build up between you and communication will start to suffer. Work at not trying to find a ready made perfect fit. Find someone with whom there is a starting point and build from there. Grow together." Vicki and Emy Lou: "Become friends flrst then let your friendship blossom into a long-term relationship." Dee and Marge: "Remind yourself to look for the good in your parrrer. If you focus on the bad it will destroy the relationship. Accept your mate as being basically good, wonderful and beautiful. Allow your partner to be human. Quirks may bother you, but tlose are not the totality of their being." Corky and Dennis: "Don't be too quick to judge. lparn to really know each other. Give each other a chance to be who you are individually. Allow yourselves to grow and maintain personal identities. Think about ttre two of you as a unit; don't be selfish. Think before you act. Compromise. Talk to one another. Work problems through. Don't allow them to become bones of contention." ? "Don't Hold Back" By Jane Cable f you've never owned a Holly Near album (or even if you own all 13 like I do!), you must buy Holly's latest-*Don't Hold Back"! This is an album which is a whole new direction for Holly. She's gone much more into the "main-stream sound" with the added fullness of synthesizers and a fantastic backup group which includes Bonny Raitt, Linda Tillery, Kenny Ioggins and producer Steve Wood, who has been keyboardist with the Beach Boys, Pointer Sisters and Santana. The opening cut on the album is "How Bold" which pounds with the driving energy and aggressive pace of a lover's comeon. The second song is a wonderfully melodic ballad which asks the familiar question, "How can anyone know if love is forever?" The title song, "Don't Hold Back" bounces us through lines like "This time won't you change your ways and knock on my doo for days and days-Don't hold back, don't hold back on me.' And Holly's lyrics to "How Was I To Know" trea.t us to beauti- ful images: "How was I to kttow youwould call me a waterfall And give me words likc rubies After all,I am a poet's fuuglter tn surprise." And.words come to me (N Holly Near's music and I met in outback Australia where I taught for six years. A friend in America sent me a record, and hearing music for womyn and about womyn for the first time was like a literal oasis in the &sert! I was hooked! Her records and I have had a very special relationship ttrat has taken us through her eras in a "folksy sound," the peace movement, going inlo jazz and funky styles, and most recently into the politics of South America I still remember seeing Holly in the 1982 film about tte "Weavers" and her wonderful story about Ronnie Gilbert "who just stood there, threw back her head and sang with a power I'd never heard from a woman. So, I went home, threw back my head--+nd sang!" In Holly's new alburn, she does indeed throw back her head, and she sings with power, maturity, pastel tones, and finesse. Holly has blended and contrasted all of her talens. The backups are tight and energetic, and the production is superb. This is a brilliant album! From dynamic vocals through the most poignant and sensitive lyrics, Holly has explored the professionalism and the experience that has made her the leader in womyn's music. "Don'[ Hold Back" is available wherever womyn's music is sold, or from Redwood Records, 476W MacArthur Blvd, Oakland CA 94609, 4151428-9l9l.a Iaae Cable, a pseufunyn ,is tlu director of music for a city in Austalia. llolly llear Kinship Connection, February 1988 I Asian-Pacific lesbians and gays Failure to perpetuate the .family line brings about a lo s s of face for the family. By Lin Ennis n what, ways are AsianPacific lesbians and gays different from Caucasian lesbians and gays? In ten words or less, in their self-concept, and in their responsibility to posterity. Pictured together COSTA MESA, CA According to The News a suit has been filed against the Worthington Reunion Photographers alleging that the business's refusal to publish a photograph of a gay couple in a high school memory book is a violation of the Unruh Civil Rights Act which prohibits discrimination by - business establishments on the basis of sex and sexual orientation. The plantiff in the case, David Engel, graduated lrl,1977 from University High School in Irvine. He and his life partner Eric Underwood, both of whom appear in the Broadway musical, "[a Cage Aux Folles," attended Engle's reunion on August 15. At the reunion, each class members was photographed with their spouse. The photographer refused to photograph the two men together, since no pictures of two people of the same sex would be printed in the book. Engle claims that he then called the owner, Don Worthington, and was told that Worthington did not approve of their lifestyle and his publication, the 10 Kinship Connection, February1988 Outside of their native countries, Asian-Pacific peoples are culturally isolated minorities. Being also gay or lesbian produces a double isolation. Sometimes their self-concept is lowered into self-hared which causes ttrem to dislike each other (a mirror image of themselves), thus deepening tleir quarantine. Then, there is no greater insult to their families than not producing offspring. If they do not perpetuate the family line, they lose face not only for themselves, but also for their families in their communities. The pressure to memory book, would reflect his feelings. Civil rights lawyer, Gloria Allred, filed a suit on behalf of Engle. At a press conference she said, "A high school reunion is a special event ... It is important to members of the class that their memory book reflect all members of the class, and *rose who are special to them, and not arbitrarily exclude a graduate. The denial of services . . . on an arbitrary basis . .. is an insult to human dignity." ? Lutherans release study ATLANTA The Lutheran Church in America released a landmark study on homosexuality as it relates to the church. The study says that gay and lesbian activity should no longer be singled out as "sinful behavior" because of evidence suggesting that sexual orientation is not the result of - choice. *To talk about sin when there is no choice [is] rivial," said John Ballew of Atlanta, President of Lutherans Concerned, North America. ? have children, amazingly, is not as grcat on women, but is relieved only by being replaced by a greater sexist pressure. The proverb is, "Having a daughter is a losing proposition," for she must be given away to belong to some other man's family. Asians have feelings, too. But they may express them more subtly ttran Caucasians do. Indirect communication is normal in their families. They may come out to their families quite differently from Caucasians, yet in ways that are understood by and appropriate to their cultures. ? "Gay as a goose" OMNI magazine The April issue quotes Konrad Lorenx, a Nobel Prize laureate: "A normal homosexuality exists in many birds and fish. If you put two pigeons togther, they invariably pair. They build a nest; they copulate. Only when no eggs are laid, you realize both are females. In geese you have the unexplained phenomenon of male pair formation. Two ganden may form a friendship and live exactly like a pair, except for copulation .. . pair formation ceremonies keep the two logther, and they may be faithful to each other for ten years. This is a sort of homosexuality... so if you ask whether homosexuality occurs in animals, the answer is yes, in a thousand different ways." ? - SDA camp PORTLAND, OR - PFLAG represen- tatives whose son had died of AIDSrelated complications spoke on AIDS to 500 Adventists at the Gladsone campmeeting. ? Region 7 Finding the silver lining - By Brian Costa ain. Itgetsalotofbad press in the Pacific Northwest. The facts are accurate at least in the coastal region (a highlydisputed area) under a Pacific storm pattern (a highly-disputed phenomenon) during the rainy season (a highlydisputed time of year). Whatever the personal view of each Region Seven-member A regarding the rain in the area, all would probably agree - with the adase: behindeveri u ) The Region seuen group met at Scot's house lor a pancake breaklast. Pictured left to right: Sleve, Myron, George, Tony, Gorky, Dennis, Scot, Brian and Chad (Scot's son). cloud is a silver lining. And in the higher elevations around Portland and Seattle, this silver takes the form of snow which falls in generous amounts on the western slopes of the Cascades. In honor of "looking on the bright side," about a dozen Region seven members headed up to Mount Hood on January 16 for an afternoon frolic in the silver (ok, white) stuff. Sriking a compromise to make the outing attractive to as many as possible, we agreed on inner tubing as a "middle-of-the-slope" activity. When we arrived at Ski Bunny on Mount Hood, it was a pleasant 29 degrees. In the intermittent sunshine and snow flurries, it was fun searching for the most thrilling slide to the bottom of the hill. Everyone agreed that our liast run was the best, when we all slide down togther in a human "Eain" backwards! - Before setting out for the slopes, a dozen people gathered at Scot's house for notrishment and a work session. The nourishment came from a pancake breakfast. The work involved addressing envelops for a mailing project undertaken by Region Seven. Members began discussing the project a few months ago with the getaway this month on the Oregon cozlst, an evening of table games next month, and a social event in Seattle national organization as a way of introducing the students and faculty at Walla Walla College to Kinship as a support system for gay and lesbians. This is similar to a project coordinated in Region Four a few years ago for Andrews University. The project will be completed this month. Inquires resulting from the mailing are being handled through the Los Angeles mailing address. This energetic mailing project is one ofmany recent Region Seven activities. The last monttrly meeting in 1987 was held in Vancouver, Washington, and attended by 13 people, two of whom were new residents in the Portland area At that meeting, Region Seven made plans for activities to take place during the frst quarter of 1988. In addition to thc frolic in the snow, we have scheduled a weekend winter during the month of April. We also plan to have a guest speaker join us for a special weekend this fall at the Menucha retreat, just east of Portland. Since this is the site reserved for Kampmeeting '89, we're hoping it proves to be sort of a sneak preview of that evenl A new regional image was created last yem in the form of Region Seven stationery. The format includes original art donated to Kinship by one of the leading graphic designers in Portland. The materials are used primarily for thc monthly newsletter sent to members in our.'egion. However, everyone will be able to get a look at the new design as Kampmeeting '89 draws closer and we invite members from all over the globe to join us for that special week. In the meantime, remember that when you hear about the rain in the Northwest, it only holds true for certain places at specifrc times during some parts of the year.? Kinship Connection, February 1988 11 lfinship on Aduentist campuses? It may notbe long before Kinship has active chapters on ev€ry Adventist College campus. Although the administration may want to prevent the meeting of openly gay and lesbian surdents, (or even their admitance) that may not be possible. Georgetown University, a Catholic instihrtion, has been ordeled by the Court of Appeals in Washingon D.C. to grant "university recognitior" to the gay and lesbian people ofthe university (not only stu&nts). The court stated that the college had theright to disagree with the group, but not discriminate against them. ? to Ouest I Il Ihe Region reuen bunnies pose. Lefr to dght, Scol, Brian, lhe masked man, tymn, and Stsre. Denmart to grant spousal rights lull According to an article in theJanuary Colin Cook recently announced the inception of Quest II. Colin and his wife, Sharon, run the changeprogram which focuses on writing from their home. Cook anticipates the release of a "landmark two-part afiicle" in a major publication this spring and is working on "a major book on homosexual healing." Meanwhile, he is counseling and preparing seminars. ? 11 issue of Tine na;garine, Denmat may suln become ttrc first country O provide full spousal rights io gay and lesbian couples who choose to designate themselves as "par1ners." The law, currently under rcview in tlnt country's parliment, has the majority needed to pass. Tlr law could go into effect as early as the first of July.? CHesAtr.r Raglon 1 (215) 4sS1860 Clwlestutur (Acling) Fegion 2 4s$160 (215) Tom Kogim Rogion 3 (s1) 754{160 LeeSbnlod Rqion I (313)33ffi44 Ttlte Price Begion 5 013)622{fts tlres Peny Begion 5 (4tr)34444P.6 Scd Rckdley Begion 7 (503) 66e2386 Cindy Belleau Begion E (408) 86m15S thug Bom Region t (ffq5e1493 JsemyYoung Ragionl0 (416) 12 Kinship Connection, February 1988 53&s&6
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