Vice Chancellor “concerned” for future of bursaries
Transcripción
Vice Chancellor “concerned” for future of bursaries
Overindulged in fun over Christmas? Get back up to speed with our essay crisis guide p.18 The best of Cambridge opinion and satire. p.13, p.20 and p.21 CambridgeStudent The Thursday, 20th January 2011 Lent Issue One James Burton News Editor Image: Cambridge University Vice Chancellor “concerned” for future of bursaries Pole-dancing comes to Murray Edwards any changes in welfare provision. A spokesman from the Clinical Medical School told TCS that: “Pastoral provision has been under review for some time now and new initiatives have been implemented. The School has introduced a new scheme, The Pastoral Advisor Scheme, in which senior clinical staff (NHS consultants and GPs) are available to small groups of students to offer help, support and guidance where needed. “Clinical Students in Cambridge have a high level of pastoral support available to them because there is support available both through the College and the Faculty,” he said. Murray Edwards undergraduates yesterday received an email looking to “gauge any interest” into holding weekly pole dancing sessions in college. Women’s Officer Jess Burrows told The Cambridge Student: “While most members of the JCR, including myself, were not made aware in advance of the email regarding pole dancing, any member of Murray Edwards is of course entitled to gauge interest in any activity she may feel is worth introducing to the college.” Burrows is “sure it is a prospect that will prompt plenty of debate both within the JCR and entire college community”. However, Clare Mohan, President of the Cambridge Feminist Society, deemed it a “very odd decision for Murray Edwards to have made, especially considering the way that women’s colleges in Cambridge are looked up to as patrons and promoters of gender equality in the world.” She argued: “pole dancing cannot be separated from its social context as a form of entertainment synonymous with the sex trade”, which “perpetuates the idea that women’s sexuality is best expressed through the visual titillation of women and therefore contributes to a culture of objection which in many ways can be seen to keep the gender barrier to gender equality closed. “You would think that JCRs (particularly of women’s colleges) would have learned lessons from the response to the Union’s offer of pole ‘fitness’ classes.” The Cambridge Union caused a furore last year after introducing ‘pole fitness’ classes to its Easter Termcard to help members combat exam stress. The classes proved so popular they were brought back for Michaelmas, and continue to take place. Should they go ahead, the proposed sessions would be taught by the same trainer as the pole fitness classes at the Union. Cambridge’s most senior figure is “very concerned” that the University might not be able to find money to offset the “financial disincentive” of a rise in tuition fees, he admitted yesterday. In his first interview with a student newspaper since being appointed Vice Chancellor, Professor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz told The Cambridge Student that the University Council “will be looking to seek to certainly exceed” £6000 tuition fees, “because we know that wouldn’t even make up for the situation we currently are in.” He added, “I would suspect [Cambridge’s fees] would be towards the University Council will be “looking to certainly exceed” £6,000 tution fees upper end, but that’s a personal view, but against that we also have to decide what best we would do to ameliorate this.” Borysiewicz acknowledged that fees of £9,000 – the upper limit set by the At the scene of the crime Borysiewicz also maintained that the occupation was “illegal“ continued page 10 Medics condemn “inadequate” welfare support Eleanor Dickinson Deputy News Editor Cambridge medical students this week criticised the University for its inadequate provision of welfare support. This is despite coroner David Morris’ call last month at the inquest into the suicide of Ronjoy Sanyal last year for “lessons to be learned”. Sanyal had failed crucial exams for a third time, and was told he would not be able to continue his studies. A second year medical student at Murray Edwards said “I don’t think there is enough welfare support directed purely at medics... I am aware that there have been cases of attempted suicide (amongst medics at least) that seem not to have been appropriately dealt with”. Another third year medical student reiterated these concerns: “I think that there should be more done by the faculty across the university so all have access to welfare and also the university MedSoc should run welfare events and raise awareness of what help is available.” Both students said they were not aware of any changes to the faculty welfare system. MedSoc President, Maral Rouhani, emphasised that Medicine is a particularly stressful subject. “Everyone across the university feels a bit jittery about exam term but there is extra pressure on medics since we have the Second MB exams which we must pass, with only two attempts allowed,” she told The Cambridge Student. She said welfare provision was “a tricky situation since students will inevitably feel the pressure of passing exams and the faculty has a responsibility to emphasise that it is a fundamental requirement. They do help by offering revision sessions in Easter term and by arranging talks on exam preparation and tips but perhaps more could be done.” Rouhani added it was too soon to see the effects of Judith Welikala Deputy News Editor IN THE NEWS Leaked University report reveals cuts blueprint Academic outcry over Huckleberry Finn censorship Cambridge staff silenced over cuts Changes to visa system place international students in jeopardy Chinese millionaire donates generously to museum 30,000 supervision hours could be cut in proposed austerity measures following the Comprehensive Spending Review. Page 2 Cambridge dons condemn new edition of Mark Twain’s classic, which sanitises the original work by replacing the word ‘nigger’ with ‘slave’. Page 3 300 gather on King’s Parade in a silent protest against the government’s planned cuts to higher education. New restrictions and added bureaucracy threaten to discourage students from applying to Cambridge from abroad. Page 5 The Museum of Archeology and Anthropology is set to undergo a major refurbishment after receiving a £1 million donation. Page 6 Page 4 The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20th, 2010 02| Editorial THE CAMBRIDGE STUDENT THE TEAM Editors in Chief: Phil Brook & Zoah Hedges-Stocks - [email protected]; Design Editor: Rhys Cater- [email protected]; Magazine Editor: Julia Rampen - [email protected]; Photography Editor: Marta Gruszczynska - [email protected]; News Editor: James Burton - [email protected]; Deputy News Editors: Elspeth Carruthers, Elle Dickinson, Judith Welikala & Michael Yoganayagam; Investigations Editor: Nat Rudarachankana; International Editors: Anna Carden & Helen Ronald - [email protected]; Interviews Editors: Tom Belger & Bryony Clarke - [email protected]; Deputy Interviews Editor: Catherine Barker; Comment Editors: Mike Alhadeff & Saranyah Sukumaran - [email protected]; Deputy Comment Editor: Ella Fung; Features Editor: Graeme Cummings; Deputy Features Editor: Abi See; Fashion Features: Lizzy Burden, Alex Davies & Katya Kazakevich; Film & TV Editors: Daniel Janes & Dominic Preston; Food Features: Izzy Pritchard; Food Review Editor: Matthew Topham; Literature Features: Vaishnavi Girish & Tanjil Rashid; Music Editor: Rosie Howard-Williams; Deputy Music Editor: Mark Seow; Theatre Editor: Hattie Peachey - [email protected]; Sports Editor: Tom Smith - [email protected]; Chief Sub-Editor: Ben Richardson; Sub-Editors: Alice Gormley, Rebecca Phillips, Abbie Saunders, James-Henry Metter, Alice Gormley, Emily Loud; Illustrator: Clémentine Beauvais; Web Editor: Mark Curtis; Board of Directors: Jen Mills and Jess Touschek (Co-Chairs), Mark Curtis (Business), Rahul Mansigani, Dan Green, Faye Rolfe, Alex Wood, Phil Brook & Zoah Hedges-Stocks [email protected] The University must be very cautious when it comes to cuts. Recent years have seen enormous progress in terms of widening access and it cannot be allowed to slip back into bad habits. An excellent system of loans, grants and bursaries exists which, despite the apocalyptic predictions of student leaders at the time, successfully mitigated the impact of the first major increase in tuition fees in 2003. Students can only bear £9,000 if support is not merely maintained but extended. Now is not the time to damage welfare. The Vice Chancellor is rightly “very concerned” for these funds. He must use his position to help those who need it most. EDITORIAL The greatest tragedy that could arise from the cuts would be damage to Cambridge’s academic excellence, and the key to our world-leading status is the supervision system. With a leaked report suggesting the end of one-on-one supervisions, our quality of learning could be about to take a massive hit. It is true that Medicine and the sciences have a more tangible benefit to society, but it would be disproportionate for subjects such as History and English to lose personal supervisions. Many arts students have only a single supervision each week. With so few contact hours, it would be the height of injustice to dilute this time. Science naturally absorbs a greater proportion of the university’s budget and it is broadly accepted on the grounds that their research is more costly. However, given that the arts receive less funding in times of largesse, in times of austerity they perhaps ought to be targets for a lesser proportion of the cuts. Their benefits to society may be less tangible, but the arts are beneficial nonetheless and this ought to be borne in mind by those wielding the axe. The one to one supervision makes Cambridge unique in the UK. Even the Other Place can no longer compete in this respect. We must not sacrifice a facet of the University that makes us competitive not just nationally but internationally in the name of short term savings. Whilst Leszek Borysiewicz lost face in his handling of, or his failure to handle, the occupation, we welcome his tardy attempt to engage with students through the press. Let us hope that this is the beginning of a wider effort to engage students and their representatives in meaningful dialogue regarding the most significant period of austerity for many years. We are concerned about the cuts. So is the most senior person in Cambridge. The greatest thing that both students and Boris have to lose is the quality of our education. Don’t let him forget it. Leaked internal report reveals huge proposed cuts Elspeth Carruthers Deputy News Editor A leaked report from the University’s Planning and Resources Committee has revealed huge proposed cutbacks to University staff and infrastructure following the 2010 Comprehensive Spending Review. The report, apparently presented to the Committee at a meeting on the 24th November by working groups tasked with examining ways of saving money, outlines projected cuts which would have a profound effect on the life of the University. 30,000 supervision hours could be cut and the size of supervision groups increased – yet payment for supervisions is the responsibility of the Colleges. Professor Gillian Evans told The Cambridge Student that “it is not for the University to suggest how to fund [supervisions]”. Rich colleges would be able to make up the cuts, but poorer colleges would not; the result would be a “different student experience”. 30,000 supervision hours could be cut and the size of supervision groups increased Professor Evans predicted “immense resistance” from academics to this proposal in particular, saying that Oxbridge dons are “passionate” about the supervision/tutorial system. Further proposals suggest cutting numbers of lectures, abolishing pa- pers with small numbers of candidates, and closing MPhil courses which attract small numbers of students. Senior University politicians, however, privately commented that such proposals would be very difficult to put into practice. Another controversial proposal suggests a voluntary severance scheme which would make it easier to sack University staff, a process which is currently extremely difficult. Yet the ‘sufficient incentives’ needed to encourage staff to seek voluntary severance would be drawn from central funds. This is “expending money to get rid of them”, according to Professor Evans. More employment cuts could come from the administrative and IT departments of the University. The cuts to staff would, according to Professor Evans, lead to a ‘loss of the range of special expertise’ of the University. The report also suggests merging the University’s two IT services, stating that computing support ‘appears to be balkanized’. The report is not currently publicly available, but a Freedom of Information request has been submitted by University Computing Staff member Bruce Beckles. Professor Evans told TCS that in principle she was in favour of “cutting fat rather than making cuts”, but the danger was that “one slides into the other...and you make someone anorexic.” When asked about the report in an interview with TCS, the Vice Chancellor said that ‘we have to make the money work even harder for the education and research of the University’. NEWS BULLETIN News in Brief 25% of Open University’s new students aged between 17 and 25 Mother attacks pensioner for disciplining her son £350,000 dip in Corn Exchange Funding PHD student Ehsan Abdoh-Tabrizi was sentenced for seven years for taking part in protests, “insulting the leader” and “having links with foreign elements”. He was initially jailed in January last year, after attending demonstrations in Tehran while visiting family in the area, and is thought to have spent over 50 days in solitary confinement. Ehsan’s father continues to protest his innocence, telling BBC’s Persian Service that he is “not a political person”. The Open University has seen a huge rise in the number of young applicants choosing it over traditional campus universities. One reason is the expected rise in tuition fees; OU fees are less than campus universities’, and students are more likely to combine study with a part-time job. Part-time learners are at a disadvantage under the current system, paying upfront and ineligible for support. The OU offers more support to part-time students, making it an attractive option. After telling a young boy to stop playing with the barriers at the Codham Lane Sainsburys, an 86 year old woman was left with a broken wrist and bruises after being punched and kicked by the child’s mother, Danielle Wilks. Wilks was spared a jail sentence after the victim pleaded with judges that she “would be very much against” her going to prison. The defendant’s lawyers argued that her behaviour had been seriously affected by the stabbing of her close friend two days previously. Cambridge City Council have drastically cut the funding for the entertainment venue following the launch of an action plan to change performance times and the introduction of operational improvements. Executive Councillor for Arts and Recreation Rod Cantrill reasoned: “We are making this saving in an attempt to improve the financial performance of the Corn Exchange while at the same time working to make it more appealing.” Funding was previously £500,000 a year. NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT RECYCLING INTERNATIONAL Mexico, North Korea, and the ethics of Wikileaks p.08 FASHION Your guide to Lent Term retail therapy p.20 TELEVISION What you want to watch this year p.25 SPORT Iranian jail sentence for Durham student Recycled paper made up 80.6% of the raw material for UK newspapers in 2006 THIS WEEK The Cambridge Student is published by Cambridge University Students’ Union. All copyright is the exclusive property of the Cambridge University Students’ Union. The Cambridge Student also publishes the magazine ZINE. Although The Cambridge Student is affiliated to the University Students’ Union we are editorially independent and financially self-sufficient. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means without prior permission of the publisher. Fairbairns time trial p.32 Got an idea for a story? Want to write for The Cambridge Student? Email [email protected] The Thursday, January 20th, 2010 CambridgeStudent Dons condemn Twain censorship Kate Abnett TCS Reporter Cambridge academics have spoken out against a new edition of the 19th Century novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, in which the word ‘nigger’ has been censored. In America, many schools have stopped teaching the work, due to pressure from teachers and parents The alteration was made by Alan Gribben, a professor of English at Auburn University, who said that reading the book’s ‘coarse language’ to a class is often an unpleasant experience. The story follows the misadventures of a boy and a runaway slave as they journey down the Mississippi river. It was one of the first major American novels to be written in a local vernacular. The new edition’s publisher, NewSouth Books of Montgomery, has received hundreds of complaints about the censorship. Cambridge University academics appear united in condemning the censorship. Dr Anne Fernihough, a specialist in 19th Century American literature, told The Cambridge Student “We should see prejudice at work, otherwise we won’t be able to counter it.” Classics Professor Mary Beard said, “I am in principle utterly opposed to this. I had a wobble about this when I heard that it would enable Huck to be taught for the first time in Alabama schools. But it was only a wobble. This can’t be the right way to go.” The censored word appears in the novel 219 times and has been replaced with the word ‘slave’. However, Philosophy Professor Derek Matravers defended the editing: “We can see Twain’s use of words acceptable in the 19th Century as getting in the way of manifesting his ‘vision’ for the book in the 21st Century. And hence all we are doing is removing an obstacle to what he was trying to achieve.” The book will be published in a joint edition with The Adventures of Tom Sawyer in mid-February. university website, the UKCA chair Melanie Johnson wrote to Cambridge authorities demanding that it be removed from public access in the interests of confidence in the chip and PIN system – only to be met with a firm refusal. Choudary’s research outlines a loophole in the chip and PIN system that allows fraudsters to make transactions on a stolen card using any PIN number they choose. He developed a hand-held device that intercepts communications between the card and the terminal – and even tested it out successfully in some shops in Cambridge. Following the UKCA’s attempt to censor the research, it has been published as a Computer Laboratory Technical Report, making it easy for anyone to find and cite Choudary’s findings. Ross Anderson, the professor of security engineering at the Computer Lab who originally discovered the flaw, responded to the UKCA’s attempt at a cover-up with a scathing letter. He accused them of ‘a deep misconception of what universities are and how we work ...censoring writings that offend the powerful is offensive to our deepest values. ‘ Pointing out that the flaw had already been made clear to financial News |03 Drive time with Alex Driver University fights bankers’ attempt to stifle research Elspeth Carruthers Deputy News Editor One of the most powerful financial associations in the United Kingdom has been thwarted in its attempt to stifle academic research at Cambridge University. The UK Cards Association last month tried to censor a thesis by Omar Choudary, a doctoral researcher at Cambridge’s Computer Laboratory. The research detailed crucial flaws in the chip and PIN system, relied on across the UK to protect card transactions. After Choudary put his thesis on a authorities when he and his colleagues first discovered it in 2009, he charged the UKCA’s members with doing ‘their lamentable best to deprecate the work of those outside their cosy club, and indeed to censor it.’ Anderson told TCS: ‘The modern world started once the invention of printing made it impossible for princes and bishops to censor something that had already been published. The Choudary case reminds us that technology has made us vulnerable once more. It’s time to think through all the implications, for both technology and policy. How can we make electronic publication persistent?’ The UKCA defended its actions in a comment to TCS: ‘The UK Cards Association wrote to Cambridge University not to challenge the work of the university’s security academics, but only to challenge whether publishing details (electronically or otherwise) of how to attempt a fraud - specifically one which there is no evidence of a fraudster yet undertaking – is necessary and serving the public’s best interest. We remain hopeful that the academics concerned will work with us rather than against us to help defeat the fraudsters - as unfortunately it is only the fraudsters who stand to gain from any lack of cooperation between us.’ Intelligence Officers £24,750 + benefits UK based Analysing information. Spotting connections. Making decisions that really matter. This is what MI5’s dedicated and focused Intelligence Officers do every day. Working together, we help safeguard the security of the nation. This is challenging and vitally important work that demands strong communication, analytical and organisational skills – not to mention a good deal of patience and attention to detail. If you enjoy solving problems, becoming an Intelligence Officer is one of the most rewarding and interesting career paths you could choose. Make sense of it at www.mi5.gov.uk/careers/intelligence To apply you must be over 18 and a British citizen. Discretion is vital. You should not discuss your application, other than with your partner or a close family member. The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20th, 2010 04| News Hundreds take part in silent NEWS BULLETIN protest outside Senate House Student who stroked police horse arrested Paul Saville, a 25 year old student at the University of the West of England, was arrested on 18th December for stroking a police horse shortly before a firework was set off. Saville was held in a police cell for 12 hours and had his flat and property searched after he was identified in BBC footage three weeks after the event. Saville has previously been arrested three times for his involvement in protests. He maintains that he had nothing to do with the firework and that he was mistreated by Avon and Somerset police. Bristol student fined for picking up prostitute Azam Shinwari, a 19 year old student at the City of Bristol College, has been fined £350 for picking up a prostitute in his car for sexual purposes. Shinwari told police he would not have picked the woman up if he had realised that she was a prostitute. He admitted he was ’30 to 50 per cent’ sure the woman was a prostitute, and that when he saw police he told her to get out of the car. He is said to be embarrassed and ashamed by the incident, and extremely concerned by its implications.. Bible Discovery Research into ancient biblical manuscripts at the University of Cambridge, led by Professor Nicholas de Lange, has revealed that Jewish use of Greek bibles existed for centuries longer than previously thought. The original translations of the Bible from Hebrew to Greek are considered a najor achievement of Jewish civilisation and are said to be responsible for the spread of Christianity. This new research indicates a crossculture between medieval Judaism and Christianity. It also gives a new insight into Jewish culture in the Byzantine Empire. Porn dissertation leads to sackings Three Turkish academics have been sacked from Bilgi University in Istanbul after a student submitted a pornographic film as his dissertation project. Despite student Deniz Ozgun’s argument that he wanted to explore the synthetic quality of pornography, revelations to a news magazine that he had made the film on campus caused an uproar. The three academics were fired, the university’s department of film shut down, and Ozgun and the star of his project have gone into hiding. Police are looking into criminal charges. Michael Yoganayagam Deputy News Editor Around 300 members of the University, including more than 100 academics, gathered outside Senate House on Tuesday for 3 minutes of silent protest to “register their opposition to the Coalition Government’s higher education policies”. Protesters, many dressed in their academic gowns, stood in front of a large banner, which read, “We are the many; they are the few”. Their protest came ahead of a meeting of the Regent House on Wednesday, where 169 members supported a request to discuss “the University’s response to the proposed changes in higher education funding”. One professor disapproved of the university’s “slight consultation on this matter so far” The protest was organised by the Cambridge Academic Campaign for Higher Education (CACHE), a campaigning group of academics and members of the Regent House, the University governing body. They oppose the Coalition government cuts to university funding and the rise in tuition fees and also seek “to safeguard the role of academics in university governance”. Dr. Ian Patterson, a Fellow of English at Queens’ College, who was present at the protest on the rainy Tuesday in Cambridge, told The Cambridge Student that he was “satisfied with the turnout, given the bad weather”. He went on to say: “We are especially worried about the potential decline of arts and humanities faculties, as a Placards read: “We are the many; they are the few” result of the government’s policy.” Another protester, Dr. Jason Scott- The founder of the English Defence League (EDL) has hit out at student protesters, calling them “communist scum” at a rally in Peterborough town centre on 11 December. Stephen Lennon, 27, who uses the alias “Tommy Robinson”, was speaking two days after students and police clashed in Westminster as MPs voted in the House of Commons to raise tuition fees. He said, “We never want to see British police attacked by people of this country”. He went on to say, “The next time the students want to protest in our capital, the English Defence League will be there”. “communist scum” Image: Devon Buchanan News in Brief Michael Yoganayagam Deputy News Editor Warren, a Fellow of English at Gonville and Caius, told TCS: “We disapprove of the University’s slight consultation on this matter so far.” At the Regent House discussion in Senate House on Wednesday, Dr. Priyamvada Gopal, Dean of Churchill College, speaking by proxy, praised “remarkably clearsighted” Cambridge students for their “principled stand” against government policy last term. She called on academics to join them. Bruce Beckles, of the University Computing Service, criticised the University’s lack of transparency, saying that both the Council and the Regent House “never had the chance to correct the [University’s internal] submission” to the Browne Review in May last year. Gowned and defiant Protesters outside Senate House However, not all speakers spoke in support of CACHE’s agenda. The Revd. Jeremy Caddick, Dean of Emmanuel College, spoke in support of privatisation of Cambridge University, to avoid “interference from a short-sighted and penny- “We are especially worried about the potential decline of arts and humanities” pinching government”. The silent protest follows the signature by over 300 Cambridge academics of a statement of support for the 11-day student occupation of Old Schools last term. Labour’s love lost at the occupation? Judith Welikala Deputy News Editor The Cambridge Universities Labour Club (CULC) has been criticised for failing to fully support last term’s Old Schools occupation - an accusation it roundly denies. CULC Chair Ashley Walsh expressed his “grave concerns” about the coalition’s “disastrous and unfair” higher education policy. While he thought “the best way to stop the government is to vote it out”, he acknowledged the “vital role” that “peaceful and legal demonstrations” play in showing “both voters and politicians that the government’s policies lack public support and should be reversed”. Walsh said he felt “proud” that so many Cambridge students EDL blasts student protesters were involved in both the occupation and the national protests. To those closely involved in the occupation, however, these actions fell short. Jacob Wills, a prominent figure in Cambridge Defend Education, argued that “solidarity is more effective when it is public” and that therefore, CULC should have to take an official line. He wanted the club to “engage to the fullest” by putting resources to campaigns and mobilising its large membership. By contrast, CULC member Duncan Evans considered the occupation to be “strictly apolitical”. “The consensus seemed to be that the support should come in a personal, not official, capacity”. While Evans took part in the occupation, he was “put off ” attending the national protests due to “seemingly unprovoked attacks by the police” and their “hijacking” by an “unwanted violent minority”. He echoed Walsh’s emphasis on “peaceful” and “legal” protest. Meanwhile, the Cambridge Labour Party were “slightly surprised” at the suggestion that they had not been supporting students. They pointed out that a number of councillors, including Cambridge student George Owers, attended the occupation, but according to Owers, they “didn’t bang on about it”. He claimed that Labour was in “an impossible situation”. Had they been more “gung ho”, they would have been “accused of opportunistic posturing”. Thus, they “attempted to support it responsibly, without being excessively cynical about it and the The Cambridge Student contacted Tom MacArnold, head of the Cambridge EDL, asking if Lennon’s comments were an incitement of violence against the student community in general. His reply read, “dont know but the protests got you no where !!!!Only loads of arrests! [sic]” Lennon also declared, “You had students living off their dads’ fucking bank cards who have never lived a normal way in their life. They do not understand what it is to be a working class member of this community.” In a wide-ranging address, the former BNP member went on to praise Winston Churchill as “a fucking prophet of this country” and referred to Islam as “an evil religion”. Formed in March 2009 in Luton, the EDL claim a membership of 66,000 and have a reputation for violent, anti-Muslim demonstrations. They came to the attention of national media most recently last month, when they were forced to cancel a controversial invitation to US pastor, Terry Jones, who threatened to burn copies of the Koran in September 2010. The home secretary yesterday banned Mr Jones from entering the United Kingdom. result was we did not get the credit for backing it”. Owers instead accused “anarchists, Trotskyists and other assorted Marxists, who are very hostile to the reformist tendencies of the Labour Party” of a lack of co-operation. He suspects that “there are individuals within Cambridge Defend Education who will sabotage any attempt to involve Labour activists for fear it might loosen their grip on the leadership of the campaigns”. “I’m genuinely sorry that was his impression”, responded Wills, but he argued that had the councillor spent more time at the occupation , he would have seen the democratic way in which it was organised. “We hold out our hand to everyone who is willing to work with us against the cuts”. The Thursday, January 20th, 2010 CambridgeStudent New visas threaten internationals International students have voiced concerns over the governments proposed changes to the student visa system, claiming it will discourage students from coming from abroad and making it more difficult for current students to continue on to further study. One international student suggested the new proposals amounted to a “distance tax,” but Immigration Minister Damian Green insisted changes were necessary because “too many people coming to the UK on student visas to study at below degree level have been travelling here to live and work, rather than study.” The reaction comes after the government announced a major overhaul in an attempt to reduce net migration to the UK to “tens of thousands.” The new proposals will force international undergraduates, hoping to apply for further study to return home in order to apply for a new visa, while also limiting future job prospects. The proposals received an angry response from Cambridge’s international student community. Marion Gale, an international 2nd year Natural Scientist at Newnham called the governments agenda “ridiculous”, adding, “It’s going to make it completely unaffordable and impractical to complete two degrees in the UK. The visas are already really expensive (and are currently cheaper in your home country than applying from the UK) but the cost of flights is huge and rising.” Plans to restrict post-graduate work are also under fire. Yuan Zhang, an Mphil student at Jesus, said “Removing the post-study work visa would pretty much nullify any chances of finding meaningful work in the UK, as restrictions on the Tier 1 Highly Skilled Migrant visa mean that no graduate can hope to meet it and most large companies are unwilling to sponsor applicants for visas, even Cambridge graduates”. “Being a student here isn’t like being allowed to live here” He went on “The provision to ‘go home’ to apply for a visa particularly irks me. I’m actually Australian, but I come from an expatriate family so ‘home’ for me is currently in Shanghai. Ironically, precisely because I’ve been in the UK for so long, I’m no longer a Shanghai resident and do not have the right to apply for a visa there. It seems nonsensical to force me to take a flight halfway across the world in order to apply for a visa renewal, when I’m already in the country.” Responding to these concerns, Damian Green told The Cambridge Student that: “We must be more selective about who can come here and how long they can stay. Being a student here is not the same as being allowed to live here indefinitely and it is not fair if people here on student visas are able to apply for extension after extension just to prolong their stay in the UK. “People imagine students to be those who come here for a few years to study at university and then go home, but that is not always the case.” In Brief: What do the changes mean for Students? International Undergraduates will be required to reapply from their Home Country in order to pursue Post-Graduate study The post-study work route will close. Students not qualified for Tier 2 “skilled with an offer of employment” visas must leave the UK after graduating. For those studying here for a twelve month period or less, dependents will not be granted a visa and not allowed to come to the country with the student. Students will only be allowed to work for their institution during the week and only allowed to work for external employers during weekends and holidays Lab ram raiders jailed Image: Sebastian Ballard Eleanor Dickinson Deputy News Editor News |05 Raided: Cambridge’s Cavendish Laboratory Mitch Bibby Two brothers were each sentenced to 24 months in prison last week, following a burglary on the University’s Cavendish Laboratory. Thomas and Albert Smith, both of Willingham, north of Cambridge, reversed their four-wheel drive car through doors to the Cavendish metal stores at high speed, and stole £550 of valuable metals on the evening of October 27. The night’s action did not end there however, as the brothers were subsequently pursued by police down Madingley Road before abandoning their car. They were later arrested. Both pleaded guilty to charges of burglary. Judge Gareth Hawkesworth recognised ‘it required police to pursue you and bring you to justice’. David Noble, mitigating, noted both had “very little education and stability.” However, the two had not helped their own situation: with eleven children between them, it is little wonder that finances were strained. The robbery, it was hoped, would go some way to funding the family Christmas. The sentences are unlikely to help those they leave behind in the long term though. A spokesperson for the Cavendish said, “They were caught, they were sentenced, that’s it.” Oliver Wyman is a leading global management consultancy. We combine deep industry knowledge with specialised expertise in strategy, operations, risk management, organisational transformation and leadership development. 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The 06| News New Year’s Honours for Cambridge dons Felix Styles New Year’s Honour List 2011 Knighthoods Prof. Michael Gregory Churchill - Engineering Prof. Caroline Humphrey King’s - Anthropology CBEs Prof. Barry Kemp Wolfson - Archaeology Prof. Ron Laskey Darwin - Zoology OBEs Prof. Sheila Bird Institute of Public Health Medicine Prof. Christopher Lowe Trinity - Biotechnology Thursday, January 20th, 2010 Cambridge town centre hit by power cut Eleanor Dickinson Michael Yoganayagam Deputy News Editors Life in Cambridge town centre was disrupted yesterday as a power cut, said to have been caused by a fault with an underground high-voltage cable, occurred at 11.26am and lasted almost one and a half hours. The city centre shut down, as shops from St Andrews Street up to Bridge Street all temporarily experienced a lack of power. Several banks were forced to close. Traffic lights were down all along St. Andrew’s Street, extending up to the junction between Chesterton Lane and Bridge Street, as well as along Jesus Lane. Miriam Fines, a 2nd year Historian at Magdalene, told The Cambridge Student, “We had no power for about an hour this morning”, adding that it was “really frustrating as I had to sit and wait so I could straighten my hair”. Sidney Sussex College also suffered a power outage for forty-five minutes. Phil Franklin, a 1st year Veterinarian at Sidney Sussex, described how the “power went out during an exam”. He added that the library was too dark to work in, that the internet was down and that there was no hot food in the canteen. The EAT store on Petty Cury also suffered a power cut but continued to serve sandwiches, although unable to serve hot drinks. By 12.56pm, power was fully restored to the affected area. A spokesman for UK Power Networks issued the following statement: “UK Power Networks would like to apologise to customers in Cambridge city centre for the interruption to their power supplies”. In all, it said, 2,480 customers had suffered disruption to their electricity supply. Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology benefits from social media mogul Image: Magnus Manske (Wikimedia Commons) Several Cambridge dons received a late Christmas present on the last day of 2010 in the form of inclusion in the Queen’s New Year’s Honours list. An impressive six Cantabrigian professors were recognised in the 2011 edition of the annual honours. Professor Michael Gregory, an engineer and fellow of Churchill College, was rewarded with a knighthood for his work as head of the Institute of Manufacturing at Cambridge University. Meanwhile, newly-honoured Dame Caroline Humphrey, who specialises in Asian Anthropology, was also among those listed for her services to scholarship. This follows on from the prestigious Chevalier dans l’Ordre des Palmes Académiques award she received in 2005. Egyptologist Professor Barry Kemp received a CBE for contributions to archaeological research, particularly in the ancient city of Tell el-Armana. Professor Kemp paid tribute to the work of archaeologists abroad and described the honour as “a significant recognition of this side to archaeology as well as a mark of personal esteem”. Also honoured with a CBE was Professor Ron Laskey, a former Professor of Embryology and now director of the Cancer Cell Unit at the Medical Research Centre. Receiving an OBE were Professor Christopher Lowe of Trinity College for his work in the area of biotechnology and Professor Sheila Bird, who received recognition for her contributions to Social Science. Based at the Institute of Public Health, Professor Bird’s work has included research into prisoner health and prevention of heroinrelated deaths. However, she also harbours an interest in the role of statistics in the media and hopes 2011 will see the completion of what she terms the “7 deadly statistical sins [in] reporting matters statistical”. CambridgeStudent Police release mugging suspects’ photos Sarah Weidenmuller Local detectives recently released a set of CCTV images in an attempt to identify four men thought to have been implicated in three muggings on 18 November. The robberies, which occurred in the city centre and took place within forty minutes of each other, have been linked by detectives. The first occurred at around 2am in Market Hill. Ten minutes later, another victim was attacked near the bridge at Garret Hostel Lane, while the third occurred on Parker’s Piece. Two of the attacks involved physical violence. The first victim, a 21-yearold male, was punched before having his wallet and jewellery stolen, and the third was assaulted before thieves made off with his wallet. The second had his bike taken by a gang. Quoted in the Cambridge News, Detective Constable Peter Rivers issued an appeal to anyone able to identify the men from the CCTV images. Statistics on the Cambridge University Students’ Union website claim that 70% of crimes against students are theft, criminal damage and burglary, and that the risk of men being mugged or assaulted is three times that of women. Students are advised that it is “well worth taking some time to think about personal safety”. Jani Tampi The Li Ka Shing (Canada) foundation has donated £1 million to the University of Cambridge. The benefaction will be used to cover some of the cost of refurbishing the Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology. The refurbishment will see the creation of a new groundfloor exhibitions gallery as well as a new entrance to the museum. The Faculty Board of Archaeology and Anthropology has agreed to name the gallery “The Li Ka Shing Gallery” in recognition of the benefaction. Sir Li Ka Shing is a Chinese- born businessman, whose investments range from electricity to telecommunications and container port facilities. Li is a well-regarded philanthropist who established the Li Ka Shing Foundation, which holds a 0.8% stake in social networking website Facebook and has invested in the music streaming service Spotify. In 2006, Li pledged that he would donate one-third of his wealth to charitable causes and philanthropic organisations. A number of universities have benefited from Sir Li’s philanthropy, including the University of Hong Kong, University of California, Berkeley and the National University of Singapore. The University of Cambridge said it was “deeply grateful to the Li Ka Shing foundation for its support over the years of which this benefaction is the latest example”. Research casts light on early universe Image: Jess Touschek Nicole Berry Researchers from the University of Cambridge and the California Institute of Technology have made new discoveries moving us one step closer to understanding the evolution of the universe. By proposing “the most attractive and competitive scientific programmes”, the University of Cambridge was able to use the world’s largest telescopes in Chile and Hawaii. They managed to light up rare gases released from early stars. The transition from only hydrogen and helium gases to a “wondrous mix of galaxies, stars and planets we live in today” can be traced back to the nature of these stars, said Professor Max Pettini at Cambridge’s Institute of Astronomy. Pettini, who led the research, along with PhD student Ryan Cook, told The Cambridge Student that they have been able to “look back in time over most of the 13.7 billion year history of our universe.” Whereas astronomical study is often reliant on theoretical predictions from computer models, Pettini told TCS that this study “adds a tiny bit of concrete data to this largely theoretical picture”. But more research needs to be done to fill the black hole in their research that still lies in the “Dark Ages”. Professor Pettini worries that cuts in university spending could affect research; he described it as “all the more frustrating given the tremendous advances that have been made, in all scientific fields, during the first century of the new decade”. Yet Pettini is optimistic that the effect of cuts will be “less gloomy than we fear at present” and that by continuing in “pooling intellectual, as well as physical, resources [with other institutions]... we can make major advances in science”. London. Business. Masters. Based in the City of London, the heart of global business, Cass has been called the best located business school in Europe. Our accredited portfolio of specialist Masters not only combines the most current theory with hands-on learning, but utilises our links with international industry leaders and policymakers to ensure our graduates are placed at the cutting edge of global business. Cass Business School’s students and graduates come from over 100 countries worldwide and join a 33,000-strong alumni network. This provides all those who study at Cass with a truly global experience and access to an invaluable network of business contacts throughout their career. We offer 17 full-time and part-time specialist Masters programmes in the areas of: >afYf[] ImYflalYlan]ÇfYf[] 9[lmYjaYdk[a]f[]k J]Yd]klYl] AfkmjYf[] K`ahhaf_ =f]j_q Kmhhdq[`Yaf EYfY_]e]fl Find out more by attending one of our regular information sessions. Contact us on +44 (0)20 7040 8600 to book your place or visit: www.cass.city.ac.uk/masters CU241_Cambridge_Ad_370x265_AW.indd 1 19/1/11 16:07:35 The 08| International Analysis: CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20th, 2011 Mexico under siege: Examining the drugs war “Help the cartels. Fight the cartels. Or give up the fight and legalise drugs,” says Dr David Shirk Helen Ronald International Editor Opinion: Will Davis Kim Jong-il has been at it again. In November, North Korea bombarded the South Korean island of Yeonpyeong. In response, South Korea decided to stand up to their northern cousins by holding further military exercises in the area. North Korea threatened that such a reaction could prompt a “sacred war”. Since the failure of these threats, they’ve called for full peace talks. The central factor explaining the recent crisis is the succession. Kim Jong-il is now ill. His 27-year old son Kim Jong-un thus became, absurdly, a four-star general and the vicechairman of the Central Military Commission, indicating that he will be the next leader. Yet leaders need legitimacy. In North Korea, where the government brutally oppresses and cannot feed its citizens this is problematic. They have, however, found a solution: portray the leader as a national saviour. The recent crisis represented an attempt to associate Kim Jongun with national salvation and reunification. The attack on the South was portrayed in the North as a defensive response to aggression and as an attempt to subvert America’s “puppet” and aid the cause With a market of this size and profitability, demand will always win and corruption in its ranks. It has been suggested by the left that the de facto state of siege in Ciudad Juárez was not aimed at combating the cartels, but aiding them, with the police supporting one cartel and the army another. Was this the case? I don’t think that there is any question as to whether there is corruption in Mexican security institutions or even at high levels of government. In surveys we recently conducted Image: Sarunas Burdulis President Calderón declared open war on the cartels in 2006 and immediately deployed the military to fight the drug lords. This strategy has arguably increased violence. What can the government do now? I think that the Mexican government has every incentive to make major gains in taking out the cartels that appear to be the most violent: the Zetas and La Familia Michoacana. This year, they succeeded in taking out the Beltran Leyva Organization as well as Teodoro “El Teo” García, the defector who broke from the Tijuana cartel back in 2008. They basically have three choices. Help the cartels. Fight the cartels. Or give up the fight and legalise drugs. Siding with the most powerful cartel - the Sinaloans could be an effective interim strategy for getting rid of other organisations, but doing so would also be a cynical admission of failure on the measures that matter most. Sincerely fighting the cartels means taking Mexico to war against itself, with certain death for tens of thousands more Mexican citizens. Legalising drugs in Mexico would be both politically infeasible and futile, so long as the U.S. opposes this option, and would most likely lead to other diversified, but weaker forms of organised crime. Do you think Mexico is becoming a militarised state? The militarisation of Mexico’s antidrug initiatives has been a “permanent campaign” stretching back to the deployment of troops in counterdrug initiatives as early as the 1930s. By the mid-1990s, for example, more than half of Mexico’s 32 states had military officers assigned to police command positions, and hundreds of military personnel were incorporated into rank and file positions in other civilian police agencies. That said, this phenomenon has accelerated greatly in recent decades. This increased reliance on the military represents a significant hazard, since it lacks the proper legal mandate and training for law enforcement and criminal investigations, and due to concerns about human rights abuses of local police in Guadalajara and Ciudad Juárez, law enforcement officers themselves readily indicated that there was corruption at even the highest levels in their department. With regard to the particular case of Ciudad Juárez, the two rival criminal organizations certainly appear to have greater influence in different institutions. The local police department has been long associated with the so-called Juárez Cartel operated by Vicente Carrillo Fuentes. What is less clear is the exact associations of their rivals, the Sinaloa Cartel, with the military and federal police. There certainly appears to be more animosity between the locals and the federal police (who are heading counter-drug operations in the city) than there was between the local police and the military. Do you consider the Zetas’ expansion to Central America as a sign that security is improving in Mexico, or that the cartels are gaining power and expanding their territory, or both? It’s not necessarily a sign of improvement for Mexico, and certainly not something that Central Americans are very happy about. I think that it is a sign that the Zetas are no longer welcome and have been unable to successfully assert themselves in the Gulf Cartel’s territory. It is a sign that violent criminal organisations are experiencing greater competitive pressures, which could be seen as a sign of success in attacking suppliers. But, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who or where the suppliers are - with a market of this size and profitability, demand will always win. If the government were to change next year, do you think they would continue with the war? It is difficult to speculate, and really depends on who wins. If the president’s party, the conservative PAN, wins, the war would probably continue along the same lines. If one of several possible leftist parties’ candidates win, they may try to refocus counter-drug efforts on prevention and treatment. If the old ruling party, the PRI, returns to power, their strategy will probably be to do what is most pragmatic: continue to fight the war on certain fronts, accept U.S. support, and accommodate drug traffickers where it is most advantageous. David Shirk is Associate Professor at the Univerity of San Diego and Director of the Trans-Border Institute Cult of the Kim Jongs of reunification. By following up this legitimate response to Southern aggression with a call for full talks, the North’s leaders have appeared to their people as magnanimous and morally superior: they want to reunify the country without killing millions of their Southern brethren. Nevertheless, the attempt to legitimise Kim Jong-un will fail. Kim Jong-il’s personality cult was constructed over three decades, but Kim Jong-un’s is being fast-tracked due to his father’s illness. Trying to do this while people starve may prove difficult. Kim Jong-un will only rule at the behest of North Korea’s banker: China. Prior to being publicly announced as successor, Kim Jong-un was taken by his father to visit their patron Hu The attempt to legitimise Kim Jong-un will fail Jintao, the Chinese President, whose approval was of course required. Increasingly, North Korea is a de facto Chinese protectorate. This will especially be the case with a leader who commands minimal loyalty from his citizens. Kim Jong-il is semidependent on China, but his son will be fully dependent. The future of North Korea holds no big-bang collapses or wars, but instead a slow, Chinese-style process of opening up and normalisation. The issue is how to deal with North Korea in the meantime. South Korea cannot be expected to wait while its citizens are attacked. Up to now, there’s been a tendency to tread on eggshells: negotiate carefully, appease, purchase concessions through aid. This strategy is overly cautious. The Kims are rational actors. Metaphors of the Korean Peninsula as a “powder keg” in which one wrong move by the South will lead to the whole situation blowing up are inappropriate. For internal political reasons, they behave provocatively. This needs to be limited to empty rhetoric. The way to do this is to approach the country with caution but confidence. North Korea must not think that they can get away with flouting the rules of the international community simply because the world fears what this “irrational” nation will do next. Any aggression must be met with carefully calibrated, but confident, proportionate responses, along the lines of the South Korean response to the Yeonpyeong bombardment. North Korea will not launch a Second Korean War. The world must stop fearing this. “Cutting the Cables” by Dan Strange Online: Felix Danczak responds to the dangers of internet protest. “Hacktivism is an illegitimate form of dissent because those who take part are not ready to be identified, nor are they willing to take their argument to court” Read this and more online at tcs.cam.ac.uk Travel Money from The People’s Post Office ® postoffice.co.uk Splash out with great rates and 0% commission* on travel money HIG :I @ 6G B IG::I =D7HDCH ::I IG NH C: H>9 ::I CZl6YYgZhh/ EdhiD[[^XZ *,"*-Hi6cYgZlhHigZZi 8VbWg^Y\Z87'(7O 9G JB B: GH IG :: I A HI G :B B 6C J: I :: G HI H G 8D :M C HI »I : C L A^WgVgn I G: C9 G69: DaY EdhiD[[^XZ adXVi^dc #6 HI 6 @>C<»HE :: : G: 7: 7jh HiVi^dc I Your Cambridge Post Office has moved to… 57-58 St Andrews Street Cambridge CB2 3BZ The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20th, 2010 10| Interviews INTERVIEWS Between a rock and a hard NUS President Aaron Porter talks to Bryony place: VC justifies his Clarke about placards, protest and candlelit response to Occupation vigils. the government – will “affect people across a far wider range of family income than hitherto the £3,000 would have done,” but insisted: “I want to end up in a position that it is no more expensive to come to Cambridge than it is to go to other major universities.” In a wide-ranging discussion, the Vice Chancellor also said he was caught in the middle of disagreements over how to react to last month’s Old Schools Occupation: “There was pressure to do more and pressure to do less.” “I happen to believe that the way that the issues were resolved was entirely appropriate” He maintained that the decision to take the occupiers to court was ultimately his, although other sources have claimed it was actually Dr Jonathan Nicholls, the University Registrary, who first suggested a Possession Order and Injunctions be sought to remove protesters from the Senior Common Room. Borysiewicz told TCS he “believed the way [the Occupation] eventually came to its conclusion was appropriate,” but pleaded for students to “understand that these circumstances may be different” in future cases. Throughout the sit-in, protesters were constantly concerned the University would exercise its power to send in bailiffs, who would have licence to use appropriate force to evict them; this fear was heightened when the University was granted a Possession Order in Court, reasserting their right to own the Old Schools and to lawfully evict trespassers. However, the Vice Chancellor insisted that although he was “sure that within the university consideration was being given” to sending in bailiffs, it was never his intention to do so. Borysiewicz cited a concern for the occupiers as one reason for his reluctance, saying “in a situation where there is an enforcement order that has been issued, once the bailiffs are sent in people are in contempt of court and that means that criminal action can then be taken against them. “I happen to believe that the way that the issues were resolved was entirely appropriate in the circumstances that we faced.” The University has claimed that total costs incurred during the Occu- pation will reach more than £50,000, including over £34,500 spent on security staff, legal fees yet to be exactly calculated, and nearly £10,000 billed as “maintenance.” When TCS put forward the view of our own reporter, that there was “no noticeable damage done” to the Senior Common Room when the occupiers left, Borysiewicz replied “that is probably in the eye of the beholder,” adding that “staff were being intimidated by noise, attempts to get into the HR department – remember that we had staff actually working there, who were stressed as a consequence – on Friday they were prevented access to the building by groups blockading the entrances.” He did, however, admit: “I’m not going to pretend that I actually know what every £9,000 is actually spent on, but I’m sure that it was actually required for cleaning the building.” The Vice Chancellor was never fearful for his own safety, despite being pursued back to the Old Schools by protesters after leaving the University Council meeting in which Cambridge decided an official stance on the Coalition’s education plans. “There was pressure to do more and pressure to do less” “I have a belief that actually students here are peaceful students,” he said. “So no, I did not feel unsafe at any point.” When asked why he felt it necessary to leave the meeting accompanied by several police officers, he replied “others were concerned for my safety on my behalf – I can’t make that judgement.” Borysiewicz also fully defended his decision to allow police onto Univerwsity property on Wednesday, 24th November, when students clashed with officers in front of the doors to Senate House in scuffles that saw at least two protesters hit by policemen. “The police have to speak for themselves for the actions that they have actually taken,” he said, but claimed he had received information “ that an imminent occupation and disruption of the university was a likelihood... I’m sorry, but it is my responsibility to ensure that the university continues to function, and on that day the evidence was so high that in discussion with the police they felt that this was an appropriate action. “I abhor violence in any form... I was not there and therefore I cannot conceivably comment on whether one side provoked the other or whether the action was proportionate or disproportionate.” Photo: Jess Touschek ...continued from front page In a grim, insignificant tower block in Camden, a small, rather bare office, just larger than an average stationery cupboard, provides a humble setting for a man who has been at the centre of one of the most raging political controversies the new coalition government has encountered so far. It has been a tumultuous year for NUS President Aaron Porter, one that has seen a dramatic regime change, colossal cuts in the higher education sector and a trebling of university tuition fees. Demonized by some of his own members for what has been perceived as a weak and lacklustre stance to the public spending cuts in higher education, whilst simultaneously lambasted by others for registering such an opposition at all, it has been a tough middle ground Porter has been forced to negotiate. His most virulent dissenters are the more radical of the NUS members - those who believe that the official NUS response to the proposals were woefully insufficient and altogether too compromising, and that Porter himself betrayed his own members’ best interests in favour of a more collaborative approach. Porter’s swift condemnation of any violence in the student protests, his tepid support for student occupations across the country, and the apparent failure of the NUS to wield any substantial leverage have led many to call for his resignation. Two student unions, Birkbeck and SOAS, passed votes of no confidence in Aaron Porter, and there’s even a facebook campaign demanding his removal as President. In the wake of the motion passed last December to see a potential trebling of university tuition fees, the question that many are asking is, what did the official campaign launched by the NUS actually achieve? “It is right to say we didn’t defeat the government on their proposals to change tuition fees”, Porter concedes, “but the NUS significantly shaped the debate. It brought the issue of tuition fees to the fore in a way the government neither wanted nor anticipated. We inflicted the biggest rebellion the government have faced to date - one of the successes of the campaign is that never again will a government jump to make decisions about students lightly.” For the person who supposedly instigated the biggest rebellion the government have faced to date, Porter is polite, personable and articulate. His suit-and-tie appearance and mannerisms are more those of a company director than student revolutionary. Indeed, his whole approach to the issue of tuition fees can be characterised as one of reason, compromise and negotiation rather than militant opposition and radical protest. “There has been a lot of attention on the street protests, but our campaign started two years ago when we produced a fully-costed alternative to raising tuition fees.” Porter has earned a reputation for elevating more moderate and gradualist forms of protest over active campaigning, preferring formal lobbying and petitioning to taking to the streets. “There’s a limit to what waving placards can achieve,” Porter agrees. “A successful campaign must employ a number of tactics; it has to apply pressure both inside and outside the room. And my experience is that having the ear of those who make the decisions, and their respect, is the best way of ensuring results.” By negotiation and compromise, by being prepared to create a middle ground, Porter has arguably made far more of an impact than a single minded, unbending opposition would have achieved. “I am convinced we are in a much stronger position with the coalition in terms of ensuring fairer access to higher education,” he argues. Since 2008 the NUS has proposed a graduate tax as a preferable model to an increased tuition fee. “Whilst a graduate tax was not the model that was implemented, it is fair to say the new system will have some features of a graduate tax, in that the repayment will not exclusively be based on what university you went to, it will be more based on what you are earning.” It is clear that Porter feels this small concession made by the government can be mostly attributed to the NUS negotiations. He believes the lobbying and petitioning of the NUS has yielded far more sympathy from within the government than the street demonstrations could have done alone. “If all we had done was a series of protests, there is abso lutely no chance we would have got anywhere near delivering the biggest backbench rebellion ever seen in the Liberal Democrat Party.” The Thursday, January 20th, 2010 CambridgeStudent Interviews |11 However, this will do little to appease his more radical opponents, who argue he has reduced student politics to horsetrading, pragmatism and backroom deals, and has quite simply not made a strong enough opposition. A dichotomy has since emerged between the official campaign of the NUS, and the unofficial demonstrations and occupations organised by other groups such as ‘Defend Education’ and the ‘National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts’. As a member of ‘Defend Education’ remarked, “Porter looks upon the student movement as no more than a CV opportunity, to be abandoned as soon as the scrawl of graffiti dares to interrupt his perfect form. The genuine student body is on the streets to which we been thrust by decades of counter-productive NUS bureaucracy.” This growing divergence of the unofficial student mobilisation from the official one was most apparent on December 9th. The 300 students participating in a ‘candlelit vigil’ on the Embankment, organised by the NUS on the day of the vote, were vastly overshadowed by a crowd numbering over 20,000 demonstrating in Parliament Square. Many hailed this bizarre decision as symptomatic of just how out of touch the NUS was with its own members. This growing resentment was exacerbated by the decision made by the NUS Executive Committee not to back two further student demonstrations in January - a “Save EMA” day on the 26th January and a “Defend Education” demonstration in Lon- don on the 29th. So why have the NUS withheld their endorsement of these student actions? “Well, we’ve already called an action on the 29th in Manchester,” Porter responds dismissively. “If students want to go to the one in London, they can go, but I’ll be encouraging the one in Manchester. There have already been lots of demonstrations in London.” Why Porter is unwilling to support both protests when the trade unions he is demonstrating with in Manchester were happy to do so, remains mystifying. On the EMA demonstration he is slightly more forthcoming; “I will support any action if it has clear goals and is safe for students. I will not support campaign actions that are likely to descend into violence. [The action on the 26th January] is being organised by the same people who turned up in Parliament Square of the 9th December; the same people who “There’s a limit to what waving placards can achieve” refused to condemn the violence at Millbank. I can’t be sure it’s going to turn violent but I don’t believe these people are taking sufficient steps to ensure students will be safe. I don’t believe these people care whether we gain public support or lose public support - I do, and that’s why I’m not coming out and supporting that event.” However, doesn’t this emerging factionalism within the student movement imperil any chance of political influence? Surely to exert any pressure at all, we must oppose these higher education cuts from an internally unified position? “The student movement is bigger than the NUS and that is a positive thing,” Porter replies. “We [the NUS] cannot organise every protest and nor should we.” A peculiar remark for someone who believes “the NUS provides the means by which the one national voice of students is represented”. While Porter was swift to disassociate the NUS from the more violent or rowdy element of the student campaign against cuts and fees, he has attracted further criticism for so publicly condemning the activities of his own members, but not responding to the brutality of the police, so obvious and manifest on December 9th in Parliament Square, with equal severity. Many feel that the effective imprisonment of many hundreds of students for eight hours in a police kettle merited far more outrage than a few broken windows at Millbank. However, Porter strongly disagrees that his response to the police brutality was lacklustre. “There are three statements I put out condemning police tactics - I went in front of a Select Committee which was enquiring into this matter just before Christmas in which I publicly condemned the kettling, the horse charging, and the poor facilities within the kettle. So actually I’ve done a range of things to criticise the police actions in the student demonstrations - but obvi- ously there is a lot more interest in an NUS President critcising participants in the student protest rather than the police. There has been a lot of misreporting on this case.” So would he like to see in ban on the use of kettling? “Yes, I believe it’s an inhumane tactic. I thought the police actions in Parliament Square outrageous and clearly despicable.” “The student movement is bigger than the NUS” It is clear that Porter has no tolerance for any violence or criminality in the student protests, and advocates only legitimate, peaceful demonstrations. However, there can be no dispute that these ‘unofficial’ student actions have certainly rivalled the NUS campaign in terms of media coverage and public attention, and have indeed better conveyed the anger and desperation of students than the candlelit vigils and NUS lobbying. Their mass mobilisation of disgruntled and disillusioned students has made fertile ground for an major political upheaval against this coalition and its cuts, inspiring a large following with the mantra ‘this is just the beginning’. This element of the student campaign made headline news of student demonstrations that may otherwise have been mere footnotes at the end of media reports. In the wake of this ever- expanding movement, what is the relevance of the NUS, saddled as it is with bureaucracy, more moderate than militant, and too compromising to really represent student interests? “Well firstly the suggestion that the NUS has been an irrelevance in this campaign is absolute pie in the sky,” he responds. “It was the NUS who put out a fully costed alternative to fees, the NUS who issued the most talked about political initiative, the NUS who organised the public demonstration in November that amassed 50,000 participants - the biggest demonstration in this country since Iraq. We have led a responsible, proactive and innovative campaign, which has held the government to account in a fearsome way, but one which I think has been responsible.” Yes, a fearsome, but responsible campaign - this phrase perhaps best encapsulates Porter’s whole approach. Whether you see him as a wily expedient politician in the making, or the voice of reason and common sense in a debate where students could only ever hope for token concessions rather than the complete abolition of fees, he has a led an impressive opposition, one that has tempered radicalism with reason and compromise, militant activism with more formal and legitimate campaigning. However, diplomatic political protest is all well and good when one wields great electoral and political influence - arguably, our generation does not. A mass uprising against the government spending cuts could quite conceivably bring this government to its knees - how can the small changes and compromises, wrought be parliamentary lobbying and candlelit vigils, really hope to compete? The 12| Comment Thursday, January 20, 2011 CambridgeStudent Comment | Is Cambridge too stressful? If society was attempting to induce high stress levels, this university would be an excellent model, says Chris McKeon S tress is a common feature of all our lives and certainly of all students’ lives. Most of us are living away from home for the first time, with people we, initially, don’t know. There is the work, the deadlines, the extra-curricular commitments and, of course, the often terrifying, yawning mouth of employment and the Real World. Then, there are the Cambridge stresses. The work is that much harder and, crammed into eight weeks, that much more intense. As highachievers we are frequently competitive, and thrown together with other similarly high-achieving people, the competition is that much harder and that much keener. Especially given our very public indicators of success, be they the publicised class lists or the Blues blazer. This is stress. During term, and Certainly, a little stress is good for you, but that is only acute stress. sometimes out of term, we encounter it on a daily if not hourly basis. Many will wonder whether it is really a problem, given its prevalence in our community, but just because 1362 Students used the UCS in 2009-2010, compared to: 1202 - 2008-2009 1168 - 2007-2008 1119 - 2006-2007 One quarter of students present at the USC due to stress, anxiety, or panic. C ing through the night if need be. Fabulous salaries, of course, but incredibly stressful. All on 25 days holiday max. They can’t ‘have a bad week’ and miss a deadline. That deadline is a client; that client isn’t happy and neither is your boss. A Cambridge term is only fifty six days in total. Fifty six days of working, making deadlines and making time for everything else you want to do in your life before you get forty two days off. We’re on holiday for one third of the academic year (October to June - check for Image: Ed Brambley ambridge is just another university. Thousands of students part with their money to attend these places every year, but down here we seem to find the whole thing just a bit too stressful. It’s too easy to blame the university. Too much work; not enough time to read everything; I didn’t like it when he said my essay was bad. Much harder to swallow, is the suggestion that maybe the problem lies with us. Think about city workers. 6am starts, working 14 hour days. Work- Letters F Want irst of all I would like to say that I have never been, nor will I ever be a student so you will probably ignore this letter as a rant from a uninformed citizen, and will probably correct my spelling and grammar mistakes. Well that your choice as this is my choice to write this email to you. Your paper is biased and unappealing, your views and what you write have directly increased the violence it is common does not mean that it is benign. Certainly, a little stress is good for you. It engages the ‘fight or flight’ reflex, heightening physical and mental functions – useful for a fight or, say, an exam. But, this is only acute stress. Chronic stress, of the kind experienced by many Cambridge students, is very much a problem. Indeed, chronic stress has been linked to an increased risk of various medical conditions including, crucially, clinical depression. The University Counselling Service (UCS) says that one of the major factors contributing to suicide or suicidal feelings among students is “inappropriately high levels of stress”, which is especially prevalent in “those who have been high achievers” – sound like anyone you know? And suicide is not the only risk – 1,300 students use the UCS annually, but even this isn’t the full picture. A recent survey by The Cambridge Student found that only two-thirds of students thought that they would contact the UCS if they needed help, so the figure may be closer to 2,000, or one in every ten students. If stress and anxiety are common then, the thinking goes, they should just be endured. The difficulties of identifying and dealing with such problems are increased by the prevalence of stress amongst students here. If stress and anxiety are common then, the thinking goes that they cannot be a serious problem and should just be endured. The UCS is a great service and receives what is a comparatively large amount of financial support, but it is too reactive – a cure rather than a prevention. And given the large number of students that could benefit from its help but don’t make use of it because they are too unhappy to seek help, or because they think that they simply have to put up with excessive stress, it is an imperfect cure at that. It is not the case, as CUSU Student Support Officer Morgan Wild suggested, that there is “no evidence that a failure of the welfare system” contributed to a student’s suicide last term. Any suicide is a failure of the welfare system and, given that the stress of Cambridge culture raises the risk of mental health problems and, perhaps, makes them seem unproblematic, the University ought to do more to counter-act this, perhaps with a longer term and a break halfway through as CUSU proposed a few years ago. As it stands, is Cambridge too stressful? There were at least three suicides in the eight weeks of last term, possibly four. These events are tragedies, and speak for themselves. “You can see that stress is a very common reason for people to 2009-2010 Drop-out rates: come [to the UCS]. However, the question of ‘Is Cambridge too UHI Millennium Institute – 25.4% stressful?’ needs careful handling, as a certain degree of stress, University of the West of Scotland – 21.4% pressure or challenge will motivate us and be helpful.” University of Cambridge – 1.2% Oxford University – 1.1% - Mark Phippen, Head of Counselling, Cambridge University Counselling Service yourself). If they can manage it for years then we should be able to manage eight weeks. The counter argument is that Cambridge is definitely infinitely more stressful than a job at a top banking firm. This is so clearly ridiculous that there is no need to argue against it. The thing we seem to forget is that everyone wants us to do well here. When you mess up, your DoS doesn’t shout, he asks what went wrong. They already know you’re capable of doing this. That’s why they let you in. So if you’re struggling, then something is going wrong. It’s understandable. Cambridge is a bubble and when you’re in that bubble for a significant period of time - when you’re meeting one deadline only be granted with three more, when everyone is so clever and so talented - it’s easy to lose perspective. To think you can’t do it. That it’s too hard. This is when things get stressful. The fact is, you can do it. You just need to remember that. People manage. Every year since 1209, people Cambridge is always going to be tough but you applied because you wanted to be pushed, argues Leonie James have managed to graduate from this place with sanity intact. We’re monitored a lot more closely than you realise. The bedders notice changes in behaviour. The porters see you every day . Your supervisors report to your DoS, who in turn talks to your tutor. People are watching out for you. If you need help, there’s a plethora of it available. Tutor, DoS, College Nurse, Welfare Officer - and this is assuming you don’t have friends to talk to. There’s the counselling service and Linkline. Aside from all these university provided services, there are the NHS ones. GPs still exist when you need them! If you need help, it’s there in abundance. But you shouldn’t need it. You were good enough to get in here and you knew what you signed up for. Cambridge was always going to be tough, but you applied because that’s what you wanted. You wanted to be pushed. Now you are, and it’s hard. It’s a shock because it’s the first time you’ve really had to work at academic work. You’re out of your comfort zone and it’s scary. When it comes down to it, managing a term here without stress would be difficult. The stress is a part of the experience, and perhaps a necessary one. In an exam you need adrenaline to get you through. When you’ve got a deadline, the stress kicking in motivates you. We’re all junkies. We need the stress to get us through the term. As I said, it’s part of the experience. to get involved? For letters, articles and comment, email [email protected] that happened in London, the assault of a member of the royal family, the destruction of public property, and the disgraceful behaviour of ONE of your students at a HERO’s memorial. You argue your case with conviction and I dare say a few of you have good intentions behind your protests, but if your validation of rioting is because the students (protesters) were kettled then your are as bad as when a politician lies about the truth. Is there any justification for assaulting some one who has done more for the student than Prince Charles???? Yes it was only a few but how many walked by and laughed or did nothing. What about the student from your University that decided it would be FUN to swing on the Cenotaph? You have shown the world that when English students protest they riot and enjoy the act. But I doubt very much that you will report any of this as your readers will not like to hear this, so much for the student to have an open mind. Now you may ask what right have I to judge on the actions of students and their supports since I have never been one, but unlike your readers I can see more than one side to an argument, and I have been to places where people are not allowed to protest for fear of being shot or killed. Yes education in an ideal world should be free for everyone...but we know it’s not ideal, I personally believe it is wrong for students to pay more but I have no love for your cause now and in fact would gladly see the students pay for their actions. So use this as toilet paper or whatever I don’t really care now I expressed opinion, I don’t care what you do with it. Luke Myers Thursday, January 20, 2011 The CambridgeStudent Comment |13 Notes from the Overground Jamie Mathieson “There’s not a liberal America and a conservative America; there’s the United States of America.” James Fearnley Were we naïve to believe in change? Daniel Razaz Who can forget the 2008 presidential campaign? All the glitz, the Luther King-style speeches, the excessive news coverage. Even the most rational of people must have found it hard to believe there wasn’t anything Obama couldn’t do. Then the day came, November 4 2008. This was what they were all waiting for. Now there really was hope, something to look forward to. So much so that you could even sense an air of anticipation here in the UK. People seemed to forget about the problems of the world for that ‘holiday period’. When Obama was sworn in on January 20 the following year there was work to do. A few banners and carefully crafted words weren’t going to put an end to wars or a recession. These issues were staring Obama in the face right from the start. He wasted no time in announcing the planned withdrawal of troops from Iraq, as well as suspending operations at Guantanamo Bay detention camp, pledging its closure within the year. However, whilst he has stuck to his word on Iraq, two years later Guantanamo Bay still remains open. It seems Obama has gone back on his word; since his initial announcement, the Supplemental Appropriations Act and Defense Authorization Bill have served to keep Guantanamo Bay open. Why did he make a promise he couldn’t keep? Perhaps all the fanfare of the election had made him get ahead of himself, clouding his judgment of the situation and the limits of his power. To combat the recession, on 17 February 2009 the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act was passed. This aimed to lessen the effects of the recession and boost the economy, by way of investing, providing benefits and reducing unemployment. Whilst the $787bn package leaves Now there really was hope, something to look forward to. a void in government finances, the increased income and consumption by households is likely to have a multiplying effect on GDP, helping restore the economy to pre-recession levels. Whether the act has been effective or not is debatable - since February 2009, unemployment has changed little, increasing slightly from 8.9% to 9.1%, whereas GDP has experienced a sustained increase. Given the high levels of investment spending, this suggests that the outcomes of the package may only become apparent in the long run, by which time any ambiguities may have resolved themselves. Whether this is the case remains to be seen, and by then Obama may not even be in office to take the credit. Perhaps Obama’s greatest moment to date, at least from a Democrat perspective, has been the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. This shake-up of the healthcare system is something no other president has managed to do successfully, mainly because of the powerful healthcare lobby in the States. The act reduces the power of insurers and encourages greater transparency of information. Although many remain uninsured, those most vulnerable or on the lowest incomes now have the opportunity to protect themselves against illness or injury. Obama is doing a pretty good job so far. He has arguably accomplished more than any other president during the first half of his presidency, and he’s not finished yet. Perhaps him winning the Nobel Peace Prize after just nine months as President was somewhat premature, as it seemed to reward his intentions rather than his achievements. Nonetheless, if this inspires Obama to continue to improve international diplomacy, it can’t be a bad thing. What next? The planned withdrawals from Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as the continued recovery of the economy will serve to affect his approval rating, which is currently at its lowest point since he took office. Perhaps his low rating is not so much because he is doing the job badly, rather that expectations were set so high when he first came into office. The current Republican majority in the House of Representatives poses a threat to Democrat legislation, and Obama’s best course of action now should be to better his approval rating. After this he should focus on the next presidential election, seeing as he has already completed half his term. The outcomes of many of Obama’s policies won’t be evident until the long term, and there’s still a lot to do. Give the man a chance, I say. Dear Diary, Woke up this morning feeling thoroughly modern. Put on my modern shoes, ate my modern breakfast, and reformed the NHS. Isn’t this fun? Some people say that modernisation is just one of those meaningless words people use because you can’t disagree with them. What a horribly oldfashioned thing to say. I hate things that are old, don’t you? Like democracy. I mean, that’s literally ancient. Needing a mandate to introduce sweeping reforms is so 1997. It’s horribly old-fashioned to suggest that by controlling the language used, you control the debate. Orwell said that in 1984, and although it’s called 1984 he actually wrote 1984 a long time before 1984, when 1984 seemed modern, but now 1984 seems horribly old-fashioned. When I talk about cutting waste or saving money, I’m not just using these terms because they sound like things everyone wants and thus obscure their ideological bases. What a philistine you would have to be to say a thing like that. But what does this really mean, being modern? Modern is good. Modern is what people want. Let’s give GP surgeries some thoughtprovoking furniture. Let’s ditch the finger-painting and get kids sawing sheep in half. Why even teach kids to read? Haven’t you read your Derrida, Barthes, Sartre? Not much point reading Topsy and Tim once you see that the relationship between signifier and signified is unfixed, language is unstable, and Tim is one seriously old-fashioned name. What’s not modern? Naysaying, that’s what. Criticism, opposition, stubbornness. How horribly unmodern. Those people who suggest that talking about modernisation while offering tax incentives for marriage would be like Ed Miliband telling Cain he went a bit far. Those people who say the Tories are a bunch of out of touch snobs and toffs. Ok, so most Tory MPs do prefer Beethoven to bingo, Schubert to Strongbow, and rugby to football. But they’re not totally upper class and out of touch. They’re not the Occupation. Talking about class is the most old-fashioned thing of them all. It’s not about who your parents were. It’s about choice. And if I choose to send my son to Eton, that’s my choice. If I choose to accept a lifetime of debt in return for a degree, that’s my choice. If I choose to privatise everything in sight, that’s up to me. Except it isn’t. It’s up to the government. Who I didn’t vote for. Who nobody voted for. Wait a minute. This isn’t very modern at all. The government doing whatever the hell they like and the people paying the price – that’s rather old-fashioned. How lovely! This is like the good old days. The 14| Comment Spoiling Internationals Visas Rethink Required the Ballot Morgan Wild with James Burton A sideways look at the upcoming CUSU elections Wandering past Prêt a Manger, or Café Nero, you may happen to glimpse furtive groups seated around a small table in some neglected corner, absorbed in the kind of quiet conversation that suggests plotting is afoot. Look closer, and you will notice the speakers share a conspiratorial, slightly obsessive look. These are student politicians, and at the start of Lent term, they begin to get restless. It’s CUSU election season, you see. Although weeks remain before candidates have to declare their intentions, whispered discussions are already taking place across Cambridge as hopefuls gently solicit the support of JCR Presidents over a skinny latte and bowl of organic soup. If talks go well, the petitioner will emerge triumphant, and make it generally known they emphatically do not want to stand for CUSU President. Of course, this only serves to remind everyone that they just might change their mind. At The Cambridge Student, we do not like this sort of thing. So, we are offering a sideways look at the elections, relying on the good humour of bureaucrats and candidates to tolerate the scurrilous gossip you will find in these column inches. Over the coming weeks, I hope to give you a glimpse into the mysterious world of our Students’ Union, from bizarre election rules to the angry squabbles of candidates, and the hidden agendas behind their manifestos. Henry Kissinger once said university politics “are so vicious because the stakes are so low.” We shall see. All that is still to come, however. This week, as plotting continues, Spoiling the Ballot takes a look at the dramatis personae. The loudest denials are coming from Rahul Mansigani, current CUSU President, who is telling all and sundry he has absolutely no intention of standing for a second term. His protestations are echoed by those of Juan de Francisco, bumbling former President of King’s College Students’ Union and self-appointed ‘man of the people’, whose publicityseeking support for the student occupation didn’t make him very many friends on either side of the political divide. Sam Wakeford, Education Officer last year, is so widely expected to run he is not even bothering to deny it. Currently Chair of CUSU Council – the Students’ Union’s ‘decision-making’ body – Wakeford is arguably the most experienced of the potential candidates. His knowledge of the obscure bureaucratic processes on which CUSU runs, coupled with what some might call an unhealthy delight in the finer points of University policy, will make him a formidable opponent. Although none of the above are exactly on the Right politically, they are Thursday, January 20, 2011 CambridgeStudent all very much part of the Establishment – and in Cambridge, the Establishment stands for caution, speaks with a moderate voice, and rarely challenges the University in public. But what of the Left? Historically, the Marxists, radicals and activists have had a pretty rough ride in elections. Just three years ago, students elected as President Mark Fletcher, a self-avowed and outspoken Tory who now works for the Conservative party; last year, Beccy Talmy ran on a campaigning, antifees manifesto, and was comprehensively beaten by Mansigani’s more measured approach. Whispered talks are already taking place across Cambridge over a skinny latte And in Michaelmas term, Luke Hawksbee was unceremoniously booted into the long grass by the electorate, discovering to his chagrin that most students would rather ReOpen Nominations than have a lefty as Co-ordinator. However, now might be the time for a rethink. The protesters who occupied Old Schools at the end of last term enjoyed a degree of student support that has not been seen for decades, and as endless New Statesman articles tell us, the youth are finally waking up. Times they are a-changing, and maybe, just maybe, CUSU is ready for a President who believes in public challenge rather than lobbying behind closed doors. One person who might be capable of harnessing the new appetite for protest is King’s undergraduate Jacob Wills. Although Old Schools occupiers will be quick to tell you they were a leaderless democracy, Wills’ enthusiasm and experience made him a key figure throughout the eleven day sit in. As always, an activist candidate would be deeply divisive, and whether Wills could win over moderate voters remains to be seen, but he could well be the Left’s best hope. The views expressed in this column are not necessarily the opinions of Cambridge University Students’ Union or The Cambridge Student Newspaper. Comments expressed are the opinions of individuals and not necessarily the opinions of Cambridge University Students’ Union or The Cambridge Student Newspaper. Any views of potential candidates expressed in this column are not necessarily the views they would hold if elected. In all cases, elected candidates would respect due process in the totality of their interactions with staff. The government’s proposed reforms of the student visa system read like a shopping list of bad policy decisions. The reforms will do little to advance the government’s unrealistic and undesirable goal of reducing net migration “from hundreds of thousands, to tens of thousands”, but will do much to undermine the experience of international students and will go far in creating a perception of the UK as a country hostile to other nationalities, even to those coming here for the most studious of reasons. There will be yet further restrictions on the amount of time international students can work and who they can work for; stopping the students’ families and dependents from working, or refusing them permission to enter the country altogether; making students return to their home country and reapply for another visa when they want to start a Master’s or a PhD; increasing the English language requirements for students, even when these students are applying to study an English language course. These reforms will not help the government achieve their goals - all they achieve are increasingly arbitrary and discriminatory restrictions on legitimate students, with no per- ceivable benefit, creating financial hardship and unhappiness for thousands of international students. These policies should be opposed, and will upset and disrupt the students that they affect, but they are not the real danger. Currently, upon completing their degree, international students are allowed to stay in this country for up to two years afterwards, to try and find highly skilled work. The government’s most sweeping proposal, to which they are pinning their hopes for net migration reduction, is to eliminate this route for international students. It is this that will cause real and lasting harm, both to international students and to society as a whole. Thousands of people from other countries choose to remain here after they have completed their course, and we should welcome this. In Cambridge (and across all research intensive universities), many of them go on to be valuable junior academics doing research that only they are qualified to do. Many go on to contribute through working (35% of highly skilled work visas are granted this way). And many go on to contribute to our society in other, less quantifiable ways. Yet the government’s proposal is clear in its insistence: international students are here only for study. When they have finished studying, they must go home. This proposal is mindboggling in its tabloid pleasing dimness. Even when considered through the government’s narrow ideological lens, there is no sense in bringing such a wealth of talent into the country, having our universities and colleges invest the time and effort in teaching them, and then enforcing an iron rule that they are not to be afforded any opportunity to continue working here. It should be a source of pride that so many international students, after they have finished their course of study, want to continue to contribute their talents and skills, want to continue the rich and diverse lives that they have found here and want to continue contributing to our communities and our society. Instantly evicting students from the life that many of them wish to pursue here, and ignoring the enormous benefit that these students can bring, is as stupid as it is wrong. It should be the belief that all students have a right to pursue whatever they are passionate about after their degree, free from unnecessary restrictions on where they can pursue it, regardless of their nationality. The government’s current proposals on student immigration should be opposed, particularly the elimination of the post study work route. The government’s proposals are a disaster by any definition. It is up to the universities to make a stand against the plans If we want international students to continue to live and thrive here, both in our educational institutions and beyond, these plans must be opposed. SPECIAL LATE NIGHT DELIVERY SERVICE GET A PIZZA DELIVERED THROUGH THE NIGHT TILL 5AM 27 Hills Road, Cambridge To order call: (01223) 355155 Opening Hours: 11am - 5am, 7 days a week. bridge magazine The CambridgeStudent 22-23 19 Contents Thursday, January 20, 2011 24-25 26-27 Hidden treasures of Cambridge How to cope with essay crises Retail therapy A different way to five a day Matthew Topham on hating fun TCS checks out the Brit nominees Sex @ Oxbridge bares all The return of Insantibridgians Jenny Grene on how the recession has hit Hogwarts Lent term in...1808 Lord Byron studied at Trinity from 1805. Legend has it that during his time there, he received a puppy for Christmas. When he returned in Lent, he was told that the college rules forbade him from keeping a dog or a cat in his room. In retaliation at being separated from his beloved dog, he kept a pet bear instead. It seems he was still unimpressed with Cambridge two years later.... Puzzles Byron to Robert Charles Dallas, January 21st 1808 You are so far correct in your conjecture, that I am a member of the University of Cambridge, where I shall take my degree of A.M. this term; but were reasoning, eloquence, or virtue, the objects of my search, Granta is not their metropolis, not is the place of her situation an “El Dorado,” far less an Utopia. The intellects of her children are stagnant as her Cam, and their pursuits limited to the church – not of Christ, but of the nearest benefice. Pic of the week Set by Cadabra Crossword by Alexander Johnson ACROSS 1. After 60% of enema, state what comes out. (9) 8. Handle your manhood! (4) 9. Returned to study it inside? Dickhead! (9) 10. Cold Midge Preserve? (4) 13. “Yes, Badgers!” so they say at Scottish stadium. (5) 15. Actual thievery – extremely like estate agent’s business! (6) 16. Separate errant beginner from honest worker for skiving. (6) 17. Father Fitzgerald made Spanish food. (6) 19. I am Cadabra’s little pixie. (6) 20. Dopehead leaves unusually 16| Contents sturdy tents. (5) 21. Make a mess as regularly as all OAPs. (4) 24. Possibly Margaret Thatcher’s war left out 23? (6-3) 25. No ice in champagne – a travesty? (4) 26. Deviously start game using scheme. (9) DOWN 2. Become acquaintances “of the flesh”, so to speak. (4) 3. Secure bust? (4) 4. Try consuming the Italian beer’s head from a hat. (6) 5. Wild cat keels over in Bristol Ecosystem. (6) 6. Nude adult shook and rippled. (9) 7. Complain whenever there’s a happy ending – do not do this to women. (9) 11. Suggesting asking for a hand (9) 12. Give in on top of Lady Neanderthal. (9) 13. Country Latin came from and returned within? (5) 14. Mutant superheroes: Winston, Parker Jr. and Charles can see through your skin? (1-4) 18. Versed in the German of a current time. (2,4) 19. Large feature of 13 – erupting meant to start inside. (2,4) 22. Party abandons Edam starter in favour of a Greek cheese. (4) 23. Shaft acquires sack containing laptop. (4) Answers to Christmas Special: ACROSS: 1. The Iceman Cometh 9. Kojak 12. Mubarak 13. Plasterer 14. Nun 15. Hullaballoo 16. See 35 Down 17(,34). White Christmas 18. Mystery 19. Sick bag 22. Hanukkah 24. Animalia 27. Oedipus Rex 30. Bipartisan 31. See 41 Across 32. Pedantic 37(,11). We Three Kings 38. Blow-dry 40. Eerie 41(,31,6,26). Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire 44. Demoralised 46. Ski 47. Euclidian 48. Minimum 49. Yield 50. Religious person Big Brother’s Big Hole A number of ex-Big Brother contestants attempted to win back column inches this week by digging a relatively large pit and trapping themselves inside, writes our satire correspondent, Matt Lim. The media coverage was not as extensive as they had hoped: just a bored journalist from the free local newspaper and a 13-year-old child who was experimenting with his new digital camera. The idea first came to them after they noted what they regarded as the disproportionately extensive coverage of the trapped Chilean miners last year. The sit-in lasted a little under 5 hours, before one of them needed the toilet (they had not thought through the logistics of this situation), another one got hungry and a further woman was racist. In an ill-disguised and ill-conceived publicity stunt, as many as 10 exhousemates, whose identities have been obscured for legal reasons and by virtue of them being talentless non-entities, endeavoured to dig a 6-foot-deep hole in a nearby park. They were aided by a number of enthusiastic locals, who were under the impression that they were burying the Z-listers for good and were disappointed when they reemerged later that day. One ex-housemate, who didn’t wish to remain anonymous but will inevitably always do so, commented that the scheme had been borne out of frustration and boredom, but that he now planned to return home for a wank. It is unclear whether, on digging, the group unearthed their longsince-buried careers, credibility or dignity. But probably not. Think you’re funny? If you want to write satire, contact [email protected] The Thursday, January 20, 2011 CambridgeStudent Feature Hidden Treasures of Cambridge A Roman ‘Swiss Army Knife’ from as early as 201AD, on display at our very own Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge. Image courtesy of The Fitzwilliam Museum. Photograph: Anders B Image: Lucinda Douglas-Menzies, copyright Girton College Heidi Egginton investigates o you’ve already heard the one about the bridge with no bolts, been up to the balcony at the Fitzwilliam, and convinced someone that the so-called ‘Bridge of Sighs’ is much prettier than its Venetian equivalent? Some of the more interesting treasures and curiosities in Cambridge are harder to find. Here are some of the best… S solution of the USSR that the Soviet military had undertaken what is now considered the most comprehensive global survey in history. It is believed that 50,000 cartographers were employed in Moscow during the course of the Cold War to interpret satellite imaging, as well as reconnaissance from spies on the ground. Open Mon - Fri and until 12.45 pm on Sat. Hermione the Girton Mummy The Roman ‘Swiss Army Knife’ Discovered in 1910-11 by Egyptologist W.M.F. Petrie, ‘Hermione’ is something of an icon at Girton, and also has the honour of having one of the most widely-produced faces of any portrait mummy. Her fame is owed partly to the inscription beneath her picture, which has been translated roughly as ‘literary lady’, or ‘reader in the Classics’ – making the mummy one of the only known images of a learned woman from the ancient world. Hermione joined other literary ladies at the then all-female Girton College, and is now kept in the Lawrence Room, along with an important collection of other Egyptian, Roman, and Anglo-Saxon objects. The museum is open every Thursday between 2pm and 4pm. One of the most striking objects in the Fitzwilliam Museum’s newly renovated Greek and Roman galleries is the so-called ‘Swiss army knife’, which dates back to between 201 and 300AD. The implement, thought to have been custom made for a wealthy Roman traveller, contains a spoon, a three-pronged fork, and what is presumed to have been a tooth pick. The spatula-like blade was probably designed for removing meat from snails. The Fitzwilliam Museum is open Tuesday-Saturday from 10am to 5pm, and Sunday from 12am to 5pm. Cold War Map of Cambridge Other objects in Cambridge collections do not co-exist quite as happily with their surroundings. The University Library Map Room holds a number of survey maps of Cambridge and East Anglia produced by the Soviet Union. These include a detailed reproduction of the town centre, with colleges and the UL marked in Cyrillic script and a detailed colour coding system. Such documents were classified as secret; it emerged only after the dis- Adoration of the Magi by Rubens While perhaps not a ‘curiosity’, taking up much of the east wall of King’s College Chapel and providing a backdrop for the beloved annual ‘Carols From Kings’ service at Christmas, Rubens’ 1634 painting The Adoration of the Magi is not without controversy. The 8ft by 11ft work was bought at Sothebys by property millionaire and collector Major A.E. Allnatt, who then donated it to the suitably vertiginous chapel. Reframed and made into an altarpiece, the painting was eventually installed in its current position in 1968 as part of a ‘restoration’ – though subsequently it has been suggested that the transformations made to accommodate it were nothing short of revolutionary. Architectural historian Sir Nikolaus Pevsner wrote in 1970 that 'if any building in the whole country was not made for [the Rubens] it was King's College Chapel', while author and King’s historian Graham Chainey alleged in 1992 that the rare Tudor brick arches cleared from the foundations to make way for the installation were ‘carted off by various fellows to make patios and the like’. ed not by the ethereal face of an 18th century French philosopher, but by a solitary (dismantled) WWII rifle. The library at Christ’s, meanwhile, in addition to significant collections of Darwin and Milton manuscripts, apparently still houses a box of rats. Found embedded in a section of late medieval plaster behind 18th century panelling in the Master’s Lodge, librarians told the Cambridge Library Bulletin that the mummified creatures would occasionally be shown to ‘small children’ on request. Manuscripts More edifying treasures lurk in the library and archives of the FitzwilliamMuseum, which preserves collections from some of Britain’s best- known artists, writers, and scientists. Along with original autographed manuscript drafts of Woolf ’s A Room of One’s Own, Keat’s Ode to a Nightingale, and Hardy’s Jude the Obscure are the diaries of Edward Burne-Jones and Sir Isaac Newton, as well as letters by Charlotte Bronte, Horatio Nelson, and Queen Victoria. Other significant Cambridgemanuscripts collections can be found online. The recently digitized Parker Library at Corpus Christi holds a world-renowned collection of Anglo-Saxon manuscripts, including the earliest history book written in English, the oldest illustrated Latin gospel in existence, and an ninth century English dictionary. Also online are handwritten letters by Anne Boleyn High Maintenance Life A familiar yet bemusing part of King’s Parade is the single flagstone inscribed simply with the words ‘High Maintenance Life’ (at the Senate House end). Cambridgeshire County Council were mystified by the sudden appearance of the work, insisting that ‘the words have no meaning as far as the highway is concerned’. Later it emerged the professional sculptor Ekkehard Altenburger had altered the pavestone himself, without comment from passers-by. ‘They thought I was a council official’, he explained, ‘and my slab has been there ever since. I just wanted to question how things progress, to take a step back and look at the system as a whole.’ Pascal’s death mask and other library ‘treasures’ While the head of Oliver Cromwell supposedly lurks somewhere in Sidney Sussex grounds, a rare plaster cast of the face of Blaise Pascal (of triangle and religious philosophy fame) is kept in a special display cabinet in the library at Newnham, sandwiched between books on German and Italian literature. Pembroke College library is guard- 10% discount with your CUSU card Hidden Treasures |17 The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20, 2011 Did you leave your books to moulder over the Christmas ho lidays? Hattie Induni has some tips for how to catch up.... T he new term is a time for solemn, work-related resolutions. PostChristmas guilt may by now be setting in, and I myself - facing up to the realisation that I’ve spent more time reading Harry Potter than Renaissance literature this holiday – took a vow of studiousness: in the following eight weeks my organisation would improve, there would be no essay crises and I could sail toward that first degree. After a few days I reviewed this, and decided to alter the oath and just deal with the crises as they came along. Somehow. It’s never an easy task: a seemingly endless list of distractions faces any well-intentioned student sitting down at the keyboard. There is surely therefore no worthier task than to consider all those various techniques, habits and even rituals any student might put to good use during the inevitable academic panics ahead. There are ways to get through. The first thing you should aim for, impossible as it seems, is to actually make your work an enjoyable experience – filling it with things to look forward to. These are of course unlikely to arise from anything study-related, so approach this with smaller goals, and mark progress with a reward for each task completed or goal achieved. Let your progress be littered with prizehobnobs and well-earned breaks. Alternatively, you may see more improvement with a more negative experience instead. Depriving yourself a little until success will really prove you have the steely self-discipline it takes to be a true Cambridge scholar. Denying coffee, lunch, toilet breaks, or any other basic human right of your choice until the paragraph gets done can be highly effective. Alongside this, many people put background music on while they study as a strategy in itself. This can often be a great help – but any track should be chosen with care, otherwise it might just become another annoying distraction. A fast Spotify playlist raises adrenalin and no doubt also a sense of excitement about the work in hand (if you can believe that). Note that the more dreadful your choice of track, the more comparatively beautiful your work will become. Decrease the 18| Working Habits Cartoon by Pierre Novelli Features Working Habits Your last-minute crisis guide quality further as desperation rises – you will want to get it done quicker. I recall a feeling of pride when I heard my next door neighbour involuntarily humming the Lindsay Lohan track I had treated him to during regular all night sessions. No term at Cambridge would be complete without the obligatory allnighter. It’s a common experience, but strategies vary. One of the things I’ve discovered – it did come as something of a shock – is the of your own disorganisation – it could be a chance to improve it, making a carefully structured approach on the tottering stack of worksheets due at 9am at a college on the other side of town. What you include in this plan is up to you but a probably useful thing to include might be something like ‘write essay’ somewhere on it. It’s a good technique here to take into account practical situations – particularly your location. College inadvisable. An incomprehensible, random stream of keys continued for 6 pages does not add to the force of your argument, and may raise suspicions of plagiarism from other works on your reading list. Thus, avoid warmth and pillows, and head to somewhere more cold and draughty. This could be anything from opening a window, to trying a trip into Siberia, but that inviting 24 hour library will probably do. The devout Denying coffee, lunch, toilet breaks, or any other basic human right of your choice until the paragraph gets done can be highly effective notion of constructing a battle-plan to achieve a really organised session. It seems that staying up in a panicinduced stint until dawn need not be a constant, humiliating reminder rooms can be warm and comfortable, but this makes it increasingly hard to resist the temptation of the pillow your keyboard is increasingly becoming. Falling asleep like this is atmosphere of silent learning will subtly inspire your work ethic (this is unfortunately not always successful; after an all-too easy hour of Facebook conversation with the friend beside you results in several thousand words of meaningless electronic communication, and about two worthy academic points). Fortunately, a new website has come to the essay-writer’s aid. Write or Die, which ‘puts the prod into productivity’, is just as ominous as it sounds. You can download the program for $10. It works by measuring your seconds of typing inactivity and produces various ‘encouragements’ to make you recommence. In the third and most dangerous mode, Kamikaze, this involves your screen gradually colouring to an alarming, devilish red – and then your work begins to be deleted, one word at a time. It sounds dangerously effective. My DoS would love it. A less suicidal innovation I’ve come across is the ‘Pomodoro Technique’, now with something of a cult online status. It’s a more controlled way of dictating how long you spend on work – each ‘pomodoro’ of working time (so called because the founder uses a tomato-shaped kitchen timer) lasts 25 minutes; when this is finished a five minute break follows, and you begin again. I give it a day-long trial, downloading the App onto my iPod and picking up a book I ought to have read for good measure. Within minutes scepticism begins to get the better of me, and I find my cursor poised over Youtube, but I remember my vow and manage to get back to work, checking how much longer I have to go with regularity. 25 minutes is distinctly more taxing than stopping for a Haribo break at the end of every paragraph, but considering my usual working pace, this can only be a good thing. It gets easier to obey the timer as the day goes on. My iPod produces a healthy ticking noise, rather like the metronome, and it feels as though I now have my own personal drill-sergeant on hand, shouting at me to task every time I get distracted. At the end of my attempts I’m pleasantly surprised: I’ve actually completed something worth speaking of: a substantial chunk of essay. I am forced to recognise, slightly grudgingly, that this is something I may use in future. If all else fails and the prospect seems wholly black, never forget to put apathetic tendencies to good use. Make it your strategy, for example, to only read the blurbs. ‘Research’ and ‘borrowing’ are really signs of respect and modesty; it is simply admitting that others are older and wiser, and much can be learnt from their thinking without doing any of your own. Widening the margins, enlarging the font, and hiding any low word counts with long, irrelevant bibliographies are techniques even the best of us may need to revert to. But above all, remember to embrace as much as possible of that that highly-motivating Cambridge pressure, think of the Fellowship waiting for you, and it’ll be done in no time. Good luck. The Thursday, January 20, 2011 CambridgeStudent O Baking your way to five-a-day... Why have chocolate brownie when you can have courgette? Ingredients Preheat the oven to 180˚C. 120g low-fat margarine 125 ml sunflower oil 300g caster sugar 3 eggs 130 ml milk 350g self-raising flour 3 large courgettes, peeled and grated 70g cocoa 70g dark chocolate, finely chopped or grated Mix the oil, margarine, and sugar. Add the eggs and milk, beat well. Fold in the dry ingredients. Finally stir in the courgette and chocolate. Pour into a large rectangular tin and bake for 25 – 30 mins until springy in the middle and starting to crack on the outside. Be sure not to leave it in too long; it should still be gooey. Leave it to cool and harden slightly in the tin before slicing. Enjoy with a dollop of natural yoghurt. All recipes by Isobel Pritchard Who needs flapjack with a butternut squashjack? Ingredients Half a medium sized squash, peeled, grated or finely chopped 100g butter 150g dark brown or demerara sugar 2 tbsp honey 200g porridge oats 100g dried fruit of your choice 50g chopped nuts of your choice 2 tsp mixed spice 1 tsp cinnamon Preheat the oven to 180 ˚C. Melt the butter on a low heat, add the squash and allow to cook for 10 minutes, stirring regularly. Add the sugar and honey and heat slowly until it has melted. It should turn the squash a darker brown and start to smell really good. Add the oats, the dried fruit, the nuts and the spices, stir and heat for 10 minutes. Images: Isobel Pritchard h dear, you’ve really let yourself go this Christmas haven’t you? You see the judgement in the eyes of your friends as you are reunited for the first time in a month. The seemingly banal question ‘have you had a good Christmas?’ has a darker, more menacing undertone. What they’re really saying is ‘Bet you indulged yourself. Bet you stuffed down that turkey fast. Bet you demolished that entire family box of Roses, and were even greedy enough to eat the Strawberry Dreams, weren’t you?And you gorged yourself on the last mince pie.’ We all do it; Christmas is a time of legitimate indulgence, of excess and extravagance. And who really wants to go for a run in the cold when Love Actually is on and the fire is blazing? Then New Year hits. We must face the reality of our slightly larger-than-life selves. It is no longer cool to resemble Father Christmas. We must return to university, mount our bicycles, write our essays, go to supervisions; we must resume a life of self constraint, denial and routine. New Years resolutions are depressing aren’t they? But they need not be so. We do not have to forego all our earthly pleasures in the bleak month of January. Here I show you how to convert that full-fat recipe into something packed with nutrition, bursting with goodness, and low in fat. Bake your way to your five-a-day. Food Features Press the mixture into a rectangular greased and lined tin, with a knife or spatula, until it is firmly packed. Bake for 20 minutes. Cut the flapjack in the tin to the desired size but leave to cool and harden before removing from the tin. Fashion Each and every time we return to Cambridge, we are surprised by a collection of new additions to the city. No, we’re not referring to the rather uninspiring extension of the UL, but to the new brands that appear on the Cambridge shopping circuit. So what’s on offer in terms of retail therapy this Lent Term? Cath Kidston 31 Market Hill 01223 351810 Cath Kidston’s ditzy prints have long outgrown their cult status, and are now to be spotted on every second woman from Land’s End to John O’Groats. Those of you wishing to lay your hands on all things fabulously floral can now indulge yourself every time you venture into town, as Cath Kidston’s new store is open on Market Square, looking far more attractive than last term’s ramshackle scaffolding. If you don’t have time to stop by, you can still make the most of the January reductions by looking on the website of the same name. Bunch Flowers Tote £45.00 £25.00 Cath Kidston Hollister Grand Arcade 01223 300050 Russell & Bromley Grand Arcade Luxury brand Russell & Avalon Place Riding the wave Bromley will be opening its £34.00 of Abercrombie new store in the Grand Arcade Hollister & Fitch’s meteoric this month - fantastic news for success, subsidiary fans, as the historic business brand Hollister Co. has yet to branch out into has amassed quite online retail. The store a following over will be situated bang in the the past few years. middle of the shopping The majority of us centre and, although the associate Hollister’s exact date of the grand name with opening has yet to be emblazoned hoodies confirmed, we can expect to and tracksuit bottoms (which are walk through the doors before the indeed the ultimate in super-comfy end of January. hangover wear) but the brand’s Of course, Russell & Bromley’s arrival in the Grand Arcade affords price range is not always studentthe opportunity to see some of their friendly. However, I know of few more individual offerings. girls who can walk past a pair of Guys who missed out on last killer heels without stopping to season’s chunky knitwear can still stare and, indeed, I know a fair buy into the trend, few men who have succumbed providing their to the charms of that perfect pockets are well-lined! pair of brogues (no names Girls wishing to mentioned). inject a bit If you’ve Christmas of colour can grab a donations burning a hole floral mini to in your pocket, you may brighten up the be able to accommodate long winter days. the full prices - good for you! Otherwise sit tight for the sales, and indulge in plenty of window shopping in the Pier View Beach (Navy) meantime. £74.00 Hollister Your Swish Is Our Command! Bored of your clothes? Made some rash purchases in the January sales? Fear not... your swish is our command! Murray Edwards College brings you the global clothes-swapping craze that is swishing: the unloved clothes lurking at the back of your wardrobe find a new home, and vice versa. The Rules of the Rail: 1) Bring at least one item of quality clothing that you want to swap. These may include shoes and accessories. 2) You’ll have half an hour to browse before the swish opens. Make sure you leave yourself time to scout out the most covetable items. 3) No item is to be claimed before the swish opens at 7:30pm. As my mother never fails to remind me, ‘One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.’ We’re sure that this applies to the fairer sex as well and, with potential fashion victories to be won and unfortunate purchases to be ethically disposed of, Your Swish Is Our Command is definitely worth a look. Best of all, absolutely all proceeds go to CAMPUS CHILDREN’S HOLIDAYS. This charity, which is run entirely by students of the University of Cambridge, provides aid to children referred by Liverpool Social Services who receive a much-needed break they would not otherwise get. See www.campusholidays.org.uk for more details. Where: The Long Room Murray Edwards College When: Saturday 5th February 7:30pm-11:00pm Tickets: £5.00 - available in advance. Email [email protected], or visit the Facebook event page to message one of the admins. Tickets are limited so get in touch now to avoid missing out! Price includes: * Free glass of wine * Free cupcake * Licensed bar * Live music from the Funk Nuggets Alex Davies & Katya Kazakevich Food & Fashion |19 The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20, 2010 Opinion “The world is full of fools, and he who would not see it should live alone and smash his mirror.” - Nicolas Boileau W ell, really. I mean, look at you. You do it: I’d rather not. No thank you. I bet you’re even wearing a hoodie. Yes? And those jeans – the ones you’ve trodden apart at the back but insist on wearing? Ugh. Happy New Year, I suppose. ‘Welcome’ back. When are you leaving? From the relentlessly pointless to the stultifyingly dull, my what a collection of boring people there are out there. ‘Unsightly’ would be a compliment. ‘Tragically misconstructed’ might be better. You look around and, greeted by a tide of unwashed earnest people dressed in sacks, it is all you can do not to scream. This is why God invented gin, and shows that Hogarth so tragically misunderstood the Æsthetes of Gin Lane. But then what does one expect from an overearnest Freemason? From a man who found the moronic heartiness of their beer-swilling louts attractive. He’d have loved college bars, full of desperately tasteless stella-swigging idiots. Bah. As you may have guessed (astute person that you are), I tend to dislike people; L’Enfer c’est les autres and all that. Live with it. Normally I wouldn’t bother to explain why, because it’s so distastefully obvious, but for once I’ll condescend (I say for once: I actually do it quite a lot). It’s quite simply for reasons of efficiency. For those (five) of you who have read me before, and who have either been nodding along sagely or spitting feathers according to taste, this will come as a shock, given the gentleman’s third and so on, but it is quite true. Disliking people, I find, simply saves time. Time for gin. For instance. Because if you dislike people by default, then it will come as no shock to your sense of taste when they inevitably turn out to be the sort of distilled, purified dullard who enjoys drinking Jack Daniels and Coca Cola, listening to miscellaneous pop bands, and wearing anoraks. They always do. By disliking them, you neatly sidestep the trouble of dropping them. Which is such a bore. Be honest. Not advice I normally give, but it’s the New Year and hopefully nobody will notice. There are people you’d rather never see again. For whom a tragic vegetable-based demise would be too good. The sort of people you walk around the block to avoid after parties. Whom you spend dinners fervently ignoring. Go on, let it out. It might be good for you, and it’s a lot of fun for the rest of us. One of the greatest pleasures of disliking people (or even just pretending to) is that you get to be snide and vicious behind their backs. Even Byron, that inveterate bore, understood that “hatred is by far the longest pleasure; Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure”; and it will be found that people are far more inclined to listen to a man complaining about someone than praising him. Praise is a slight to those not praised, whilst spite is a game for the whole family. I cherish the hope that it stops one murdering the tedious in their beds. The tedious probably do too. It doesn’t make you an awful person, a misanthropist, or a psychopath. That’s my job. It just means you have a lively appreciation of people, a healthy scepticism and, really (probably, maybe) a life. Which conflicts with the person who rambles on about their dull and frightfully earnest opinions over dinner. Pretending otherwise is just lying with a smile on your face. We prefer to lie honestly, thank you very much. Of course, there is what some relentlessly chipper people would call an ‘up-side’ to being quite so revoltingly misanthropic. Or would, if I spoke to relentlessly chipper people. When you do find someone who sails serenely above the general tide, your discovery of their wonderfulness, their suitability, will come as a pleasant and shiny and new experience, and you will be gratified to have been proved wrong, rather than forlorn and sad and with your inexplicable and frankly silly faith in human nature lying shattered at your feet. Which is nice. The brilliance of this little scheme is that the incidence of pleasant surprise is actually quite high. One feels rather jolly about it all eventually, especially when these surprisingly nice people bring along other surprisingly nice people for you to hate and then adore. And the odd thing is that there are very few people in my experience who are not inclined to laugh at being told that you used to hate them. Rather good for the old self-image, I suppose. Racine had his Hermione say in Andromaque “je l’ai trop aimé pour ne le point haïr.” Which is silly. Why hate those you love when there is an almost infinite supply of readymade objects for your contempt just outside? See: I do like people after all. Matthew Topham Just not you. Listings Thursday 20 Jan Friday 21 Jan Academic Professor Lord Robert May, ‘Beauty & Truth’. Professor Lord May holds a Professorship jointly at Oxford University and Imperial College. He was formerly President of The Royal Culture Society and Chief This House Believes Scientific Adviser to the the BBC is Failing the UK Government and Country. The first Union debate of Head of the UK Office of the term features visiting Science and Technology. His talk is part of the speakers Roger Alton (executive editor of The Darwin College Lecture Times), Peter Bazalgette Series. Lady Mitchell Hall, Sidgwick Site. (former Chairman of Endemol UK) and BBC Music presenter Jon Sopel in Spectacular Ceilidh. what is bound to be a highlight of the Union’s A lively evening of dance and song. Tickets termcard. £10 including supper. Under 16s free with accompanying adult. Bar available. All profits to the Whitworth House Extension Appeal.The Guildhall, Cambridge. 1930. Nightlife Basement Tracks: Launch Party. Showcasing some of the best underground Cambridge DJ talent. £3. Hidden Rooms, 7a Jesus Lane. 2000. 20| Saturday 22 Jan Sunday 23 Jan Monday 24 Jan Tuesday 25 Jan Music Gerontius. Elgar’s classic performed by the top University ensembles, choirs and soloists. Conducted by the acclaimed Sir Richard Armstrong. King’s College Chapel. 2000. Culture Chinese New Year Gala 2011. Presented by Cambridge University Chinese Students and Scholars’ Association. £6/£15/£17. The Corn Exchange, 3 Parson’s Court. 1430 & 1930. Music Academy of Ancient Music, ‘The Bach Dynasty: JS Bach’s sons’. Steven Isserlis (‘cello) and Richard Egarr (director & harpsichord) play music by Johann Christian Bach, Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and Wilhelm Friedemann Bach. Tickets £27/£20/£14. West Road Concert Hall. 1930. Theatre The Study of Young Men. Laugh-out-loud funny and wrenchingly tragic, The Study of Young Men is a new play by Adam McNally. £6/£5. Corpus Christi College Playroom. 2130. Until 29 Jan. Nightlife Rendezvous. Organised by CUSU LGBT. Now at the newly refurbished Cow, Rendezvous will continue to lead the LGBT scene as Cambridge’s weekly night. Beers for £1.50 and cocktails for £3. £3. The Cow, Corn Exchange Street. 2100. Music Truly Medley Deeply. After sell-out performances at the Edinburgh Fringe, Cambridge’s finest bongo/mandolin/guitar/ synthesiser pop medley trio performs live in concert. All profits to Parkinson’s UK. £6/£5. ADC Theatre, Park Street. 2300. Also at 1630 on 29 Jan. Music Occupoets Strike Back! Performances from the poets and musicians who read and played at the old schools occupation to raise funds for the defend The Cult. The 1980s education campaign post-punk band comes and to kick off a new to Cambridge. With fortnightly poetry/music support from Masters of open mic night. The Reality and Romance. Cafe Project, 22 Jesus £28. The Corn Exchange, lane. 1930. 3 Parson’s Court. 1930. I Am Kloot. The Mercury Music Prize nominees return to Cambridge. £15. The Junction, Clifton Way. 1900. Wednesday 26 Jan Academic George Steiner, ‘Is Death Changing?’ A rare opportunity to go to a lecture by one of the world’s finest minds. Hosted by Clare Politics. Riley Auditorium, Clare Memorial Court. 2030. Sir Richard Dearlove, ‘The Impact of Terrorism on National Security’. Sir Richard is former Head of MI6. Hosted by Peterhouse Politics. Peterhouse Parlour. 2045. Thursday, January 20, 2010 The CambridgeStudent Opinion the Sex@Oxbridge GRENE ROOM Jenny Grene has been given access to new material written by a famous children’s author. The hero of the story is returning to finish his studies. Chapter One: The New Ministers Harry Potter packed his trunk for school slowly, deciding to read some old newspaper articles before he threw them away. Luckily for narrative purposes, these all involved the exposition of events that had occurred in between the last book and this one. He looked at a moving wizard picture of two similar looking men, smiling with their arms around each other. The headline read, “New Wizarding Coalition Government Formed”. Harry sat down on his bed with a sigh, and read the caption beneath the picture. “Seen here: Nickity Clegg and David Cameronius, two pure-blood wizards who have formed a new coalition Ministry of Magic. Put together they represent the most number of wizard votes, more than any other single wizard party.” As Harry looked at the paper there was a knock on his door. Hurriedly, he threw all of his things into his trunk and ran downstairs. Hermione was there waiting for him. As they loaded his trunk into the wizard taxi she had arrived in, Harry looked around. “Where’s Ron?” he asked. “Is he meeting us at the wizard station?” “Haven’t you heard?” said Hermione in surprise. “Ron isn’t coming back to Hogwarts. His family can’t afford the new tuition fees. They decided that Ginny should go back to Hogwarts because Ron is frankly average and she shows more promise.” “Blimey,” said Harry. “I never even thought that Ron wouldn’t come Named one of the “40 bloggers who really count” by the Sunday Times Magazine... back to Hogwarts. Makes sense I suppose. And they lost all their savings in the crash at Gringotts Wizarding Bank, didn’t they?” “Yes they did,” said Hermione seriously. “Although I can’t help thinking that the crash was partly our fault, after we destroyed the bank with a dragon and exposed it to wizard fraud.” “Honestly Hermione,” said Harry angrily. “You’re as bad as those people who say Hogwarts should pay for the wizard recession because teachers, students and governors were responsible for most of the damage.” They spent the rest of the journey in the silence of two people with differing political outlooks. Finally they arrived at Kings Cross Station and walked through a wall without anyone noticing. Standing around on the platform were all their school friends. “Hello Harry, Hermione,” said Luna Lovegood. “Have you heard? Mr Clegg and Mr Cameronius have privatised the Hogwarts Express because they say the wizarding deficit needs to be slashed. Anyway, it’s forty-seven minutes late and they’re charging us for it now. Apparently it’s not cost-effective to run a wizard train for free.” “I don’t understand”, said Neville Longbottom stupidly. “We’re wizards after all. Why didn’t they just magic more money into the air instead of taxing us all?” “They tried that, Neville”, said Hermione, looking up over the top of one of her many academic books that she read for pleasure. “It’s called wanditative easing, because it’s done with wands. “I don’t know what this year will bring,” said Harry. “But I know one thing we’ve got that no wizard taxes can take away from us. We’ve got friends.” “Oh shut up Harry,” said Hermione, slamming her book shut as the train drew slowly up to the platform. “We’re all sick of that nauseating rubbish. Either stop going on about friendships or sit on your own.” n o w i n g whether or not someone wants to sleep with you. Sometimes ambiguous, o f t e n circumstantial. I just assume everybody wants to sleep with me as it’s so much easier. Of course not everybody actually wants to sleep with me, I mean I haven’t found one of these people yet, but I’m sure they exist. Anyhow, Happy New Year readers. k I’m often asked for advice on anything from sex and relationship problems and I’ve agreed to give advice on the former in my column this term. Am I the most qualified and socially apt person to do this? Probably not, but I say everything with conviction so at least I sound like I know what I’m talking about. Dear Sex@Oxbridge, My college has rather thin walls, and I have several times been serenaded by the noise of my neighbours going at it. This has made me a bit paranoid. How can I get them to keep the noise down a bit, and stop my girlfriend and I from being overheard too? My latest blog post is about the horrifying reality of someone you know hearing you have sex. Loudly. The walls are thin, the beds in college are creaky, I get it. It’s all terribly inconvenient for letting loose. The creaking bed is the easiest to remedy. My ex and I use to put all the bedding on the floor and do it there. It isn’t the most comfortable option, and if you’re not careful you can get rug burns so make sure to turn that duvet into a makeshift mattress. Noises that emit from you and your partner in the throws of passion are sometimes inevitable, but there’s no need to indulge in Sharapova-like decibel levels. Turn some music on, as that should mask most sounds. In terms of approaching a noisy neighbour, the only thing that sounds more mortifying than someone telling you they heard you have sex is having to tell someone else you heard them having sex. I doubt this friend of yours is oblivious to the thinness of the walls, and he probably wants everyone to hear what a stud he thinks he is. In passing, perhaps just say, ‘Listen, minute man – keep it down at night, yeah?’ Dear Sex@Oxbridge, Life as an Oxbridge student is a bit different from the regular student lifestyle. We live in ancient buildings, work with ancient, worldclass academics, and get to indulge in May balls and black tie dinners. I’d really like to make the most of all the unique opportunities that Cambridge offers, so I was wondering if you could tell me what the ultimate Cambridge sex experience would be? In a punt. Just kidding. That would be tricky, though I’m now intrigued by the idea, actually. Obviously that’s an unrealistic goal for January with it being so cold and all, but the rivers of Oxbridge are probably less crowded at the moment so I suppose now would be a good time to find an inlet on the river and have a go. At least most punts have those soft pads. This has gone way too far. Forget the punt – *I’ll* try the punt and get back to you. The ultimate Cambridge sex experience is one that will have significance for you. You wouldn’t ask what the ultimate sex fantasy is, because that’s particular to an individual, so I can only urge you to think about which dark corner of the ancient buildings tickles your fancy. Having sex in public is exciting. Having sex in an alleyway is disgusting – don’t do that. I would say that’s the opposite of the ultimate sex experience. The one place that always makes me want to have sex is the library. Maybe because I’m always stressed and bored in there, but it’s one of few sanctuaries in life that doesn’t have a CCTV camera around every corner, and something about the smell of ancient pages and the tension in the air really gets me going. For now, I’ve thought of a fourth resolution – go to the library more. If this stack’s rockin, don’t come knockin.* Problems? Curiosity? Send them to a g o ny a u n t @ t c s . c a m . ac.uk and I’ll get back to you at my earliest convenience. |21 The Music Beth Ditto and Simian Mobile Disco release digital EP What we think: Yeah they do, and from the 30 second previews we’ve heard, it’s AMAZING. Katy B announces album release date (14/3/11) and probable title (‘On a Mission’) What we think: Wikipedia says that Einstein was born on March 14th so it’s a good date by us. WIRE RED BARKED TREE CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20, 2011 New Britney single ‘Hold it against me’ released online Bellamy Brothers accuse Britney of ‘unoriginality’ and lifting lyrics Perez Hilton says Bellamy Brothers in turn stole said lyric from Groucho Marx What we think: It’s got dubstep in it?! What we think: Well, yeah. What we think: Is this even news? (Pink Flag, 2011) (Rough Trade, 2011) ★★☆ ★★ Download: Smash Download: Mongk II Download: Breaking Point I’m gonna say this right now. I don’t know much about BSP. I know that peopleI know who I know like music that I know that I like like them. So I should like them. Do I? Well, who knows? They’re clearly a band who know how to play their instruments. They’re very competent and their lyrics are all educated and meaningful but that seems to have created the biggest problem with this album; honestly, it’s all a little too polite. Maybe I’ve missed the point here because plenty of music does work with this kind of self-restraint. BSP’s lush sound, however, instead of working on anticipation, is held back by its own eloquence and subtlety. There are no risks here and as a result, the suppression of the music is ultimately goalless. That said, there are areas where this self-restraint really does work. ‘Mongk II’ is a driving tumble of a song, with wailing guitars and distortion and brilliantly simple drumming underlining the whole thing. ‘Stunde Null’ is a brainless rock song – un-fucked-about-with-music, un-pennedby-a-wannabe-academic-who-missed-his-vocation. This can’t be the BSP that I’ve heard so much about, can it? This can’t be the BSP that I was sure I would love and cherish and want to marry? For the uninitiated, listening to this album is like being invited to a cocktail party where guests exchange witticisms about summering in American prepdom. It’s nice to feel part of the club and everything, but in your heart of hearts, you’d rather be drinking White Lightning and Lambrini in a trolley outside Tesco. Rosie Howard-Williams wenty eleven is the year that the Brits hope to make themselves credible again, and under the direction of new chairman David Joseph, they might just stand a chance. For the first time, last year’s nominees joined the voting panel, leading to more nominations for the kind of artists that the Brits usually award. Perhaps the best evidence of this is the fact that indie rockers The xx managed to secure an impressive three nominations, included the highly coveted British Album of the Year. That isn’t to say that the Brits have abandoned the mainstream – far from it. The xx were trumped by Tinie Tempah, whose four nominations ensure that it isn’t going to get any easier to avoid hearing ‘Pass Out’ this year. Mark Ronson secured a disappointing single nomi- Keri Hilson is a woman utterly enamoured with herself, and we’re clearly expected to feel the same way. In current single ‘Pretty Girl Rock’, she sings, seemingly sincerely, “don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful.” Clearly, she’s too attractive for her own good. Though at least we can rest assured that she’ll have no such problems with modesty. For her second album, Hilson is supported by the usual army of producers and guest vocalists. By my count, there are 13 producers across 11 songs, which goes some way to explaining why No Boys Allowed sounds less like an album, and more like a load of random songs thrown together in the hope that they’d somehow form a coherent whole. As you might have guessed, it doesn’t really work. This sort of approach can succeed – Robyn’s Body Talk series being a recent example of it done well – but it’s difficult to pull off. Hilson isn’t helped by the fact that not only do the songs not mesh well, but most of them just aren’t really very good. The aforementioned ‘Pretty Girl Rock’ is overproduced saccharine pop at its worst, while the upbeat ‘Lose Control/Let Me Down’ shows promise until a misjudged Nelly rap is followed by a dull and lengthy outro. The album is at its best during the slower numbers, particularly those produced by Timbaland, but even these can’t save the album from mediocrity. Skip this, and go buy Rihanna’s latest album instead. Dominic Preston Brit Young Things Photo: Spencer Hickman 22| Music (Mosley Music, 2011) ★★☆ I think it was Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols that displayed such sentiments many years before him, but lead singer Colin Newman once said of Wire that their aim was “to destroy rock & roll, by removing the roll from it”. Now, over thirty years on from their landmark first three records, where once they eschewed their mainstream contemporaries, Wire stand hand in hand with them. Most of these tracks don’t fall too far from FM radio fodder, though in itself that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Where this album does fail is in producing anything more than merely average. It was probably asking too much to expect a classic record from Wire at this point (for that see 1977’s Pink Flag or 1978’s Chairs Missing), but it would have been nice to get something that wasn’t quite so forgettable, or even something without such bloody awful lyrics (sample: “A dirty cartoon duck covers the village in shit, possibly signalling the end of western civilisation”). Of the eleven tracks on Wire’s twelfth studio album, ‘Two Minutes’ comes closest to emulating their formative sound, but it is on the chiming sheen of the title track and the spiralling, punky ‘A Flat Tent’ and ‘Smash’ that Wire sound their closest to interesting. This is surprising, as their best work of late came on the far more abrasive Read and Burn series of EPs from a few years ago. Perhaps Wire are finding that there comes a point when angry young men can’t be angry or young any more. George Bate T KERI HILSON NO BOYS ALLOWED BRITISH SEA POWER VALHALLA DANCEHALL nation, for British Male Solo Artist, but he stands a decent chance of securing the prize, especially since his competition is weak enough to include Robert Plant, of all people. The female equivalent nominees aren’t as you might expect: Eminem, Kings of Leon, Arcade Fire, etc. Pleasingly, though, both Robyn and Cee Lo Green stand to win prizes, even if their odds are slim. Though I’ll say it now: if Katy Perry beats Kylie, der to make that the last of the night. The xx are probably the critical darling of the group, which is otherwise made up by Mumford and Sons, Plan B, Take That, and Tinie Tempah. Obviously, we’re all in agreement that it would be a fucking tragedy if Mumford and Sons won it, and the critics all want The xx to succeed, but can anyone really imagine Take That not winning? The album sold approximately 1.3 gazillion copies in a month and a half, and is probably the only one on the list to be both a commercial success and a favourite of most critics. I’ll even go so far as to abandon any credibility I have as a heterosexual male and admit that I actually quite like the album, and will personally be rooting for Robbie I’ll say it now: if Katy Perry beats Robyn to win International Female, I’m swearing off the Brits for good. much better, including Cheryl Cole’s inexplicable nomination. She crops up again in the stunningly dire list of British single nominees. Scouting For Girls? Really? The Wanted? Alexandra Burke? I like to think we’ve had some better songs than that lot this year. The nominees for the assorted international categories are Robyn, & Rihanna to win the International Female prize, I’m swearing off the Brits for good. I think even Katy Perry herself knows she doesn’t deserve that one. Inevitably, the category everyone really cares about is the British album of the year, to the point that they’ve even scrapped the Lifetime Achievement Award in or- et al, much to the chagrin of my xx loving girlfriend. If you’re still here, and haven’t stopped reading in disgust, there is of course one category that we already know the winner of. Jessie J has been awarded the Critics’ Choice award, which has previously gone to Ellie Goulding, Florence and the Machine, and Adele; proving that the way to the critics’ heart is to be a female solo artist with a slightly odd vocal style. I’m not much of a fan of Jessie J, to be honest – her first single, ‘Do It Like A Dude’ just seems pretty abrasive to me. But then, she’s probably going to make filthy quantities of money over the next 12 months, so what do I know? The awards themselves will be taking place live on February 15th, and are being hosted by James Corden, for which I can only apologise. Dominic Preston The Thursday, January 20, 2011 CambridgeStudent CD? Isn’t that some kind of disease? Music As HMV announce that they plan to close forty of their stores around Britain, Barnaby Howes takes a terrifying glimpse into the apocalyptic future of the record store... Indeed in 2010, shortly before the Kate Middleton Satanism scandal brought down the Royal Family, sales of albums digitally still only made up 18% of total album sales. People it would seem still occasionally felt the need to breakaway from their laptops to head into the town centre and buy the latest release from their favourite Nu-post-punkfolk band. However whilst the demise had been long coming, it was the news at the end of 2010 that HMV (once Britain’s largest chain of record shops) Record shops it would seem, once a mainstay of every High Street, have been replaced by Hybro cafes and Road-ski stores. ‘It has been announced via Twitterbook that Fopp 7.0, Britain’s last remaining record shop, is to close within weeks. Only a decade ago the majority of albums were bought in record shops. would be closing forty of its stores which meant that shops selling music on CDs and vinyl were doomed to the history books. Fopp 7.0 of Cambridge, Greater London has miraculously survived where other chains have fallen by the wayside, or in the case of Rough Trade, switched to becoming a procession of upmarket bistros with their patented Morrissey Mocha. Fopp 7.0’s longevity is down partially to several bewildering rebrands, including its short lived ‘Zero Gravity’ 4.0 incarnation, which infamously resulted in fourteen deaths. A greater reason however lies in a curious by-law of the University of Cambridge. This states the land Fopp 7.0 is situated upon is ‘To be used for the musical enjoyment of scholars, unless decreed otherwise by the Council Chamberlain of the City,’ a position destroyed in 1623. Now however following successful legal action from creditors Fopp 7.0 is set to close its doors. With the last ever CD album release having been David Guetta’s disastrous ‘Music so supreme it’ll make you dream...4Real’ (which rightly earned him a two year prison sentence) in 2018, Fopp has soldiered on against the odds. Mostly this has been by selling Photo: Rob Brewer O h, hello casual reader. Welcome to 2021. The headline of The Murdoch Daily (‘News so good we have no rivals left!’) pronounces one million are to die in the upcoming Vulpine Flu pandemic. In showbiz, Kerry Katona’s comeback album ‘4Real-Like, Really Real?!’ has entered the charts at #71, agreed by all to be an unexpected success. Then, buried away on page 38, is a small article highlighting the plight of Fopp 7.0... second-hand CDs to nervous students trying to look retro by avoiding downloading albums like 99.99% of the country. ‘Fopp 7.0’s closure is tragic’ said one particularly hopeless looking student. ‘I mean, clearly the government should step in.’ Fopp 7.0 has had its application for protected status turned down. “No castle no charity” said an English Heritage spokesman. Record shops it would seem, once a mainstay of every High Street, have been replaced by Hybro cafes and Road-ski stores. For more information you can preorder Dame Jo Whiley’s new book ‘Record stores were always a bit tawdry’ at The Murdoch Daily website. The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20, 2011 Film Biopic tendencies Trailer Watch James Gray assesses a ubiquitous Hollywood trend French town, village and hamlet. Perhaps, however, the answer lies in something more sinister. Both of these films focus on specific taboo themes - namely Gainsbourg’’s notorious womanizing and Piaf ’’s drinking, gambling and drug addictions - that strive to satisfy our voyeuristic curiosities. If this is the case, and the biopic is used as a way of grounding the otherwise unbelievable in reality, then the thorny issue of veracity versus commercial appeal strikes hard. The biopic can be a way of grounding the otherwise unbelievable in reality Moving closer to home, the 2003 biographical drama Sylvia follows the blossoming romance between Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes, beginning with their meeting at Cambridge in 1956 and ending with Sylvia’s suicide in 1963. It sounds simple enough, but the film provoked anger with claims from the couple’s daughter that producers were profiting from her mother’s tragic death and casting not-so-subtle doubts over Ted’s role as husband and father. It does not take long to realise that the appeal of the biopic genre lies not in banal truths, but rather in a potted biography that has been carefully spliced together with a purpose and thematic bias that guarantee commercial success. With virtually every biopic playing with the truth at some point, much like literary fiction and film, these films allow us to explore the uncharted territories of imagination whilst offering a more or less tenuous link with reality that makes this genre ever so slightly more spine-tingling. Any history lesson offered by The King’s Speech should be taken with a pinch of salt since, in the end, it is essentially, as the New York Post called it, “an immense crowd-pleaser”. Paul is, for many, a comedic dream, putting Simon Pegg and Nick Frost together with a CGI alien voiced by Seth Rogen, and pitting them all against Jason Bateman. Cue dick jokes, an alien dressed as a cowboy, and a Predator impersonation. YouTube: ‘Paul Official Trailer’ Marion Cotillard in La Vie En Rose Photo: Icon Home Entertainment H aving already been tipped for Oscar glory, The King’s Speech marks the continuation of a recent trend of biopic success at box offices worldwide. The list of cinematic biographies from the last few years is long. There have been interpretations of musical legend Ray Charles, French singers Edith Piaf and Serge Gainsbourg, former US president Nixon, and adding to this growing myriad, rumours that Meryl Streep will incarnate the ever-divisive Margret Thatcher. Whether portraying the lives of ancient heroes or the gods of popular culture, the popularity of this genre is undeniable. But why? What is it that puts biographical narratives ahead in the Oscars race? The recent French productions Gainsbourg and La Vie En Rose might be seen as cementing national identity and reinvigorating a wobbly national pride. After all, this is a tradition that inflicts a ‘Rue Victor Hugo’ on almost every Battle: Los Angeles sees Aaron Eckhart vs. aliens, in what’s being billed as a sci-fi Black Hawk Down. The trailer shows some clear similarities to the excellent District 9, so let’s hope the film is more like that than 2010’s disappointing alien invasion flick, Skyline. YouTube: ‘Battle Los Angeles Trailer 3’ Momentum 12A 118 mins The King’s Speech is the perfect example of what we might call ‘the Vampire Weekend effect’: when something perfectly decent and serviceable is hyped ★★★ up to a degree disproportionate to its quality. It would make a brilliant Christmas-period drama on BBC1, but its position as a ‘Best Picture’ contender, especially against the terrific The Social Network, is simply perplexing. The word that comes to mind in describing this film is ‘solid’. The main performances are laudable: Colin Firth endows the emotionally constipated Duke of York with dignity and sympathy, Geoffrey Rush the flamboyant therapist Lionel Logue with a robust irreverence. The film is well served by a stellar supporting cast, David Seidler’s lively dialogue and the masterful direction of Tom Hooper, who deftly builds tension before the public speaking scenes with tracking shots and close-ups of the microphone. Additionally, the production values are superb, with even the most regal settings tinged by scruffy 1930s brownness. However, the film has some serious problems with pacing, with the central speech-therapy narrative arc disappearing almost entirely from view in the middle of the film and the sense of urgency at the end seeming forced and sudden. Its worst flaw, however, can be summed up in one word: Churchill. Timothy Spall’s toxic portrayal of a toxic man not only jars with one’s historical sensibilities, but single-handedly turns the film into a cartoon at the very moments when dramatic tension is most needed. As Margaret Atwood said, ‘context is all’, and the bizarre elevation of The King’s Speech to something above a very efficient historical crowd-pleaser affects one’s disposition towards the film. It is well-done, purposeful entertainment. However, aptly for a film about aristocracy, it has ideas above its station. Daniel Janes 24| Film Fox Searchlight 15 94 mins Seeing 127 Hours might just be the most difficult film watching experience I’ve had since Requiem for a Dream. On the other hand, it ★★★★★ was also undoubtedly one of the best. As the latest release from director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, Slumdog Millionaire), the film has unsurprisingly been on the receiving end of a lot of the recent awards buzz, and fortunately it really does live up to the hype. Based on the book Between a Rock and a Hard Place, it follows the true story of Aron Ralston, a mountain climber whose arm was trapped by a boulder while hiking on his own. Unable to free himself, he survived for the titular 127 hours before eventually amputating said arm and hiking back down the mountain. It’s pretty grim stuff then, but Boyle manages to insert some levity into the proceedings, mainly thanks to James Franco’s stellar performance as Ralston. Given the film’s complete focus on a single character, Franco’s performance was always going to make or break the film and the actor shows a depth of emotion that I honestly didn’t know he had. He manages to sell both the cocky, charming Ralston of the beginning of the film, and the increasingly desperate man that he becomes, perfectly charting his diminishing grip on reality. Credit must also go to A.R. Rahman, whose use of both his own score and contemporary music is absolutely flawless, particularly the incorporation of Bill Withers’ ‘Lovely Day’ for a day that is anything but lovely. No review of 127 Hours would be complete without some mention of the amputation scene. Yes, it’s difficult to watch. Yes, it’s pretty damn unpleasant. However, it’s both tasteful and realistic, and is never played for the sake of gore or controversy. Don’t let squeamishness put you off seeing a film that I’m sure will be looked back on as one of the year’s finest. Dominic Preston Photo: Courtesy of BFI 127 HOURS Photo: Chuck Zlotnik THE KING’S SPEECH Photo: Courtesy of BFI Reviews BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S Paramount Some things - Harold Macmillan, PG say, or doilies - were quite popular 115 mins in 1961, but now, thankfully, belong squarely in the past. Blake Edwards’ ★★ supposedly ‘classic’ adaptation (some would say bowdlerisation) of the Truman Capote novella, re-released this week, is one such cultural fad. It is difficult to decide what grates most as Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard smoke and litter their way through Manhattan’s classy East Side. The latter’s performance as the leading man is wooden, though occasionally rises above his character’s incoherency as a struggling writer who, actually, doesn’t seem to struggle much. Most memorably, Audrey Hepburn kookily portrays Holly Golightly, a vacuous and morally dubious call girl-cum-socialite, to whose misadventures she tries her best to add charm, but fails to overcome her character’s inherent dislikability. True, thousands of female viewers have for decades begged to differ on this point. This says more about their character than the film. Certainly, she looks as stylish as ever in her Givenchy dresses, and Peppard is similarly good-looking, as are the implausibly clean streets of New York, but whatever Hollywood execs may have thought back then, style is no substitute for substance. Viewers may warm nostalgically to Henry Mancini’s iconic, if dated, score (including the Oscar-winning first-ever rendition of ‘Moon River’), but one cannot expect the same of Mickey Rooney’s all-but-chalked-up, absurdly-accented and buck-toothed ‘comedy Jap’, a painfully racist stereotype that recalls the kind of Hollywood orientalism one would rather not revisit (“Me so sorry! Me love you long time!”). A classic, we are told, stands the test of time. Breakfast at Tiffany’s effortlessly flunks it. Never has there been a film more undeserving of its place in cinematic history, but it does deserve to be consigned to it. Tanjil Rashid The Thursday, January 20, 2011 CambridgeStudent TV HOPES Has the panel show had its day? Does Masterchef need more techno? TCS asks its readers what they’re looking forward to on the box in 2011... Television ‘I can’t wait to see if they commission Upstairs Downstairs for a whole series’ I can’t wait to see if they commission Upstairs royal abdication - featured recently in Any Downstairs for a whole series, as the pilot showed Human Heart and The King’s Speech, and also great promise. Far from being a lacklustre the subject of Madonna’s upcoming directorial remake or modern version of the original, the effort W.E. - the programme was given a new scriptwriters chose to continue the series time-frame, new directions and a new cast, where it finished all those years ago. By while simultaneously balancing poignantly the choosing the volatile era of the late 1930s, old era and the old way of life at Eaton Place. the programme not only focused on the lives As the country also seems captivated by ITV’s of those in the house, but also on the world Downton Abbey, it will no doubt be interesting situation (complemented of course by the head (if you’re as sad as me) to see a bit of harmless of the house, Sir Hallam Holland, a diplomat inter-channel costume drama rivalry, especially in the Foreign Office). Coinciding nicely with from two such auspicious dramas as these. Hattie Peachey what seems to be a revived interest in the 1936 ‘If Young Fishmonger of the Year fails to win a BAFTA, BBC3 will have been robbed’ ‘Seeking out the winners from the also-rans’, year will be better versed in fish lore. There is BBC Three’s Young Fishmonger of the Year was nothing worse than forgetting oyster fishing 2010 televisual masterpiece. Let’s hope that the seasons or getting in a pickle over sea bass rules, BBC uses our licence fee wisely and secures and that’s without mentioning the cardinal sin: another hour of gripping, nail-biting drama for confusing red mullet and mackerel. What are 2011. Battling to out-gut, -slice, -arrange and Britain’s fishmongers coming to? I pray for -identify their opponents, four titans of fishy the sake of fish and chip lovers everywhere fisticuffs proved beyond doubt that they were that they buck up their ideas, avoid the red ‘unsung heroes of the sea-world’. Yet not all of herrings and brush up on the finer points of it went so swimmingly. For ‘fish identification’ ...er... fishmonging! And if they miss a BAFTA - easily my favourite round - poor knowledge for last year’s effort, they’ve been robbed. cost candidates dearly. I pray that young Philip Brook ’mongers angling for the prestigious title this ‘Masterchef needs overwrought shouting and plenty of techno’ As an almost obsessive follower of Masterchef, and the chefs - it’s for their own good. Those I’m hoping for a return to form this year. chefs should be kept sweating in line for the Recent series sapped the show of its real joy: decision. Or, at the very least, the film needs not enough pounding techno and suspense; too to be edited so that it looks that way. Gregg much mush about how far everyone had come. Wallace’s ecstatic gurning every time he sights When did the judges become so concerned pudding will always make the show worth a with welfare? Every time Lisa broke down they watch but please stop the self-congratulatory calmed her down. And then they gave her the backslapping everytime someone makes an prize. What? The presenters should be stalking omelette. Masterchef needs overwrought about the kitchen, waiting for that perfectly shouting and plenty of techno. Bring that back inconvenient moment to ask just what you in 2011 and I’ll be as happy as Gregg Wallace just really intend to do with that artichoke, as of after he’s been presented with a great big brûlée. old. They should be howling at each other Doug Johnson Upstairs Downstairs: Back for more? Photo: BBC ‘Luther returns later this year and promises to be a TV highlight’ Luther, the BBC series which launched from the typical detective format with the in May 2010, was probably the most introduction of Alice (Ruth Wilson), the underrated crime drama of last year. murderess in the first episode, as Luther’s Starring Idris Elba (of The Wire fame) as confidante (a gender reversal of the key tortured London detective John Luther, a relationship in Silence of the Lambs), man with a brilliant mind but a destructive thereby providing some great on-screen personality, it was a pure joy. chemistry. Gritty, tense, truly edge-of-the-seat stuff This is the antithesis of an Agatha Christie from start to finish - and what a finish! whodunit, and Luther, a man fuelled by his With one of the most gripping finales in emotions rather than reason, is no Poirot. television history, Elba’s performance was Luther returns for a second series of two truly superb, more than worthy of the two-hour long specials later this year and, nomination he received for Best Actor if the previous run is anything to go by, in a Mini-Series or Television Movie at promises to be a TV highlight. the Golden Globes. The show deviates Francis Dearnley ‘The long-running panel shows are flagging and need re-imagining.’ Britain has an extraordinary need to place its and programming does not lend itself to top comedians and entertainers behind a desk. quality entertainment. The Adrian ChilesWithout point scoring or quiz questions it led That Sunday Night Show is symbolic of a seems that we Brits can’t cope with humour. dying entertainment form. All you need to The horror if Dara O’Briain refused to name do is look into Chiles’ eyes, deadened with a winner at the end of Mock the Week. The the horror of leaving the BBC. Hopelessly country would descend into anarchy. More dopey Apprentice hopefuls have been replaced than ever, the TV panel show has taken over with humourless TV ‘stars’. Match of the Day our screens. Whether it be endless QI, a waning 2 wasn’t always the best company for Chiles, Never Mind the Buzzcocks desperately missing but he was at least still entertaining. Have I Simon Amstell or ITV4’s seminal Richard Got News For You aside, the BBC is struggling Bacon’s Beer and Pizza Club (my sources tell me too. Long-running shows need re-imagining that this is, in fact, real), the format desperately or the format will eventually grow tired and needs va-va-voom. The clearest sign that the the only place to see comedians will be Live panel show is becoming exhausted is that at the Apollo, The Graham Norton Show or ITV have latched onto the format. Something getting heckled in your local comedy club. about having a 50:50 balance of ad breaks David Moulder ‘You can’t go wrong with Matt Smith sporting a Stetson’ The BBC family drama juggernaut returns be that good ratings in the US have seduced this year with a promising new format. the BBC into appealing more to our friends Writer Steven Moffat has revealed that this across the pond? In any case, Amy, her time around we will be treated not to one but husband Rory and even the enigmatic River two Doctor Who series, intersected by a midSong are all back to appease the fans. Plus, at season cliffhanger. The finales in Doctor Who the end of the series teaser, the Doctor warns are usually the most compelling episodes, that ‘monsters are real’. This nightmarish and, with talk of a ‘game-changing’ climax, statement is a welcome reminder that the there’s plenty to look forward to. Not least of show is a children’s programme, albeit a the adventures hinted at in the 2011 trailer sophisticated and internationally renowned is a two-part series opener set in America. children’s programme that everyone from It looks like there will be some impressive your great aunt to your pet Jack Russell scenes in the Utah desert, but the fact that can enjoy. In any case, you can’t go wrong these episodes were co-produced with BBC with Matt Smith sporting a Stetson. America makes me slightly uneasy. Could it Florence Smith Nicholls Television |25 The CambridgeStudent Theatre Thursday, January 20, 2011 O ne would be forgiven for assuming that, when it comes to Shakespeare, we’ve seen it all. Every student theatre company in the land seems to take on the challenge at some point or another, often pulling it off relatively well yet with relatively little imagination. The temptation seems to be to play it safe and, as the lights dimmed over the ADC, I couldn’t help but wonder whether this production would be yet another safe but standard rendition of a Shakespeare classic that I could happily live without. I needn’t have worried; this is EGT. Having spent two weeks of December touring through Europe, one might expect the Cambridge University European Theatre Group’s production, now on its home run, to be tired and somewhat lack lustre. However, it is entirely the opposite and this is evident from the opening twenty seconds: bright lights ignite the stage, which resembles a 1950s travelling funfair (helter skelter included), and the Theatre Review: The Taming of the Shrew 26| Theatre the play into a desperately dark comedy within which a woman’s soul seems to have been lost. The skill with Taming of the Shrew comes in allowing a balance to be achieved: fundamentally a comedy, the comic relief is imperative; however it must not overshadow the dark elements of power and misogyny. This is where Joey Batey’s Petruchio steals the show. Batey has the audience in the palm of his hand as the controlling and dominating suitor (and ‘tamer’) of Katharina. However, the comedy of the part is not compromised: Batey frequently has the audience laughing out loud, particularly on the wedding day of Petruchio and Katharina, flouncing round the stage in stockings and what appears to be a woman’s negligee. Batey’s skill, however, is his ability to switch from comic genius one moment to dark and controlling husband the next. Often seen to be physically rough with Katharina one minute, then shortly after delivering lines with flippant comic timing and a casual grin, Batey’s faultless performance Every student theatre company in the world seems to take on the challenge cast spring into a lively 1950s-esque dance with an indisputable energy. Crucial contrasts between the characters are made clear from the off: Rozzi Nicholson- Lailey is warm, dainty and perfectly feminine as Bianca. Her skills as a dancer are evident in how she gracefully commands the stage, and the warmth with which her lover, Lucentio, played by Will Attenborough, responds to her allows the couple to serve as ideal contrasts to Petruchio and Katharina. Emma Makinson’s direction of the pair is subtle, allowing Attenborough and Lailey’s warm onstage chemistry to speak for itself, therefore making their characters’ attraction to one another appear romantically inevitable, rather than sickeningly forced. The typically feminine and romantic Bianca is heavily contrasted with Sophie Crawford’s intense and sullen Katharina (the ‘shrew’). Crawford’s initial discretion is notable: the temptation to turn Katharina into a shouting and screaming nightmare is one that often seems too much to resist for actresses, but Crawford manages it, choosing instead to portray the eldest sister as a headstrong, rough and spirited tomboy. This serves to accentuate Petruchio’s treatment of her, for as he ‘tames’ her unwomanly ways, an audience don’t only witness her loss of power, but also her loss of the spirit which she demonstrated in her opening scenes. By the end of the play, Crawford’s Katharina is utterly subdued, devoid of any sense of the temperament or personality that characterised her at the start. Crawford is almost like an empty shell as she utters her last monologue, turning allowed Petruchio’s disingenuous and untrusting character to become clear, allowing Makinson’s production to be one of the darker interpretations of the play I have seen. It is difficult to find fault with such a production. The supporting cast were all equally as convincing as the four principles, particularly Harry Carr as the wide eyed Grumio and Tom Pye as the hilarious Widow. I did, however, overhear one audience member say they ‘didn’t really get the whole circus thing’, and I suppose this is a valid point. As a reviewer, I had read the director’s notes on the piece and was therefore able to identify that the setting did indeed echo the main themes of the play: that of a bright, lively outward impression covering up an often unjust and unsavoury internal reality. However, this depth of meaning is not really explored within the production and therefore could easily be missed. That small point aside, The Taming of the Shrew allows EGT’s reputation for producing innovative and exciting interpretations of Shakespeare’s classic texts to remain firmly intact. Executed with utter professionalism, directed with subtlety and supported by a faultless technical team, the Cambridge University European Theatre Group proves itself as a lively, fresh and imaginative shrew which certainly does not need to be tamed. ★★★★☆ Rosie Keep ADC Mainshow 7.45pm Until Saturday 22nd January The Thursday, January 20, 2011 CambridgeStudent Theatre ADC Footlights Pantomime 2010 Harriet Peachey talks to Dannish Babar about playing an alcoholic cat... T his year’s eagerly anticipated yuletide offering from the Footlights was ‘The Pied Piper’. A quick synopsis for those not familiar with the story, the Pied Piper is a mysterious figure who arrives in a town struggling to solve its unfortunate rat infestation, but while his pipe music attracts the attention of the rats, so too does it attract the attentions of the town’s children. I caught up with Dannish Babar, one of the stars from this year’s show Could you tell me a bit about your character in this year’s production? I played the humble village cat Katzenjammer, erstwhile town rat catcher. Old Katz was once a celebrated rodent exterminator, but the years have taken their toll and he is now a washed up old drunk, stumbling over his own tail and confronting anyone within earshot with his life story. However, when he accidentally joins the quest to thwart the evil Pied Piper, he finds his pride and self-respect along the way – all through the power of friendship. Always a sell-out show, the Footlights Panto is one of the most popular productions of the year. How did you deal with first night nerves and expectations? By the time of the first night we all knew the show like the back of our hands, so I think we all felt fairly well prepared. The audience on the first night was extremely responsive and generous, which put everyone at ease. For those who didn’t have the chance to see the show could you tell us your favourite line or part of the show? Playing a drunkard necessitated a lot of slapstick, which I loved. There Living Language Theatre S’il vous plaît A t the beginning of last term I eagerly booked tickets for the Cambridge Greek Play. Having studied Ancient Greek at A-Level, the prospect of going to see a production of an Aeschylean tragedy performed in the original was immensely exciting. However the actual experience of sitting in an auditorium, watching people speaking in Ancient (I feel its important to add this epithet so as not to belittle the language spoken in modern-day Greece) Greek was quite underwhelming. Understanding an isolated word every few minutes lulled me into a very false sense of security; I thought that I could ditch the surtitles and simply try and work out what was going on by occasionally recognising the words ‘pity’ and ‘miserable’. Unfortunately this was not possible. Therefore my eyes were unable to appreciate the full visual spectacle of the production as they were glued to the surtitle screen at the side of the stage. After about an hour of reading pixelated orange letters, my lids could not hold out any longer and so were forced to shut. After the show, I was told that I should have informed myself of the plot before seeing the play so that I didn’t need to understand what was being said. To me this idea seemed to undermine the whole point of are few purer pleasures in life than falling over while dressed as a cat. Was this your first big Footlights how? How did it feel to be part of such an important Cambridge tradition? I’d done Smokers before, but never something as big as this. I felt very lucky to be working with such a talented group of people. And did you feel the show was wellreceived by the audience? Apart from a small child who I inadvertently made cry one night, yes. What can we expect from the Footlghts this year and from you? The Spring Revue, ‘Odds’, is shaping up to be excellent this year, do go along to that. Also get along to ‘Dannish Babar Knows What You’re Thinking’, Pembroke New Cellars, 15-19 Feb for an evening of exciting new stand-up comedy and mentalism. afforded to the Cambridge Greek Play would be entirely understandable. But nowadays, the CGP just functions as a sort of gimmicky bastion, supposedly demonstrating the continued vitality of the classical languages. However, what I do like about the CGP is that it entertains the idea of performing theatre in its original language. Whilst I think it chooses the wrong language, I do feel that the opportunity to see great works of theatre, written in languages that are still spoken today, must be seized. With multitudes of modern linguists, international students and international fellows floating around, Cambridge seems like the perfect place to stage productions of Racine, Lorca, Lessing, Pirandello and/or Chekov. Of course, these foreign language productions are not going to be The opportunity to see great works of theatre must be seized. going to the theatre. When we go to the theatre, we are there to discover and experience a narrative through shared linguistic understanding not simply relying on background reading. The joy of theatre lies in uncovering a whole host of emotions by understanding the text alongside the performers’ gestures and facial expressions. Unlike film subtitles, the surtitles in a play always detract from the ability of the spectator to appreciate words and action simultaneously. If Classicists had a strong enough grasp of Ancient Greek to be able to comprehend the Agamemnon (which they probably did back in 1882 when the CGP was founded), then the reverence attracting vast audiences but they will be able to provide very valuable cultural experiences to those who can understand the given language. Therefore I am excited to report that this term Dominic Horsfall and Nadia Bonifacic are directing a production of Brecht’s early comedy Die Kleinbürgerhochzeit (A Respectable Wedding) taking place at the end of February in Pembroke Players’ Theatre. For all German students and speakers this should be an unforgettably funny evening and hopefully the beginning of new era in Cambridge’s foreign language theatre scene. Dan Eisenberg Matthew Topham reviews The Varsity Restaurant Last term, Matthew Topham prowled Cambridge’s culinary scene like a particularly erudite and sharply-dressed puma. This week, he sharpens his claws on The Varsity Restaurant. ★★★★☆ Food: ★★★☆☆ Service: Atmosphere: ★★★☆☆ £50 for two, three courses and wine. Well, Varsity. Much smaller than you’d expect, certainly. A little rough at the edges. Quite cheap. Convenient, the way one description can be made to work for two things. Anyway, baiting aside, that is the first impression one gets at the rather grandiosely styled The Varsity Restaurant. Which is something of a shame. From the plastic table-covers (an unfortunate addition, since the tablecloths were at least real) and the paper napkins to the laminated menu in fauxleather (mine with an attractive melted candle-mark for added authenticity), one is not exactly set up for a good dining experience. salad suspiciously identical to mine, but were without defect. But the main courses. Well I say. My companion, being more than usually contrary, had determined on Chicken Diane, about as authentic as a plastic David, but apparently very nice, and served with potato croquettes, for which he has the sort of inexplicable mania denied to all but the most troubled of minds. On the other hand, my Bydakia – lamb cutlets seasoned beautifully and served with salad (and, wait for it, chips) – was a transport of delight. I have found that rarest of entities: a chef who knows how to cook lamb rare. And Not Haute Cuisine, but solidly authentic The second shock is discovering that The Varsity Restaurant is actually a Cypriot establishment, serving Greek and Cypriot food with the curious addition of a number of out-of-place ‘80s diner classics. I genuinely had no idea. Not exactly the sort of thing one expects. And, since I have a rather marvellous Greek friend whose hospitality is legendary and with good reason, I had high expectations. The menu aroused sneaking suspicions of the Eraina, that Sin-blasted Hellhole of a place where everything is served with chips and rice and vegetables and the essence of failure. But it is not so. Because the food here is actually rather marvellous. True, the starters lacked a certain panache, my Kalamaraki falling prey to the usual problem of all squid: rubberiness. The batter was delightfully light and unintrusive, however, and the salad which accompanied was actually dressed (which is sadly neglected by most places) and managed to be interesting and edible. My companion’s Loucanicos (a type of Greek sausage) again lacked drama, and were served with a my, the taste was exquisite, supple and vigorous, warm and cheering. It had by this point turned into a rather nice evening indeed, despite the exigencies of the wine list (I am always in two minds about whether to be annoyed or thankful that so few Greek restaurants serve Greek wine), and it was with high hopes that we ordered Baklava for pudding – that quintessential pastry and honey concoction – eschewing other equally delightful sounding things. And they were brilliant. Soft, unsickly, light of pastry, and served with rather nice ice-cream (even if I would have preferred yoghurt). It is not Haute Cuisine, but it is solidly authentic (if we avoid the Chicken Diane) and very good value. Service throughout was low-key but professional, and impressive given that our waitress was apparently the only one. And, having been so caressed by the hand of a more than competent chef, I think I can say without fear that I shall be returning, a most unusual thing for me, I must say. Theatre |27 The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20th, 2010 28| Sport Comment Ashes: England Pom-inate down under Ollie Guest It was at one o’ clock on a morning in early January that Chris Tremlett steamed in to take the final Australian wicket of the fifth Ashes test in Sydney but, for many a bleary-eyed England cricket fan, it felt like Christmas all over again. England had not only retained the Ashes, but won the series in some style, gloriously vanquishing their Baggy Green-capped rivals in their own back yard. Time after time over the course of five tests, English fans were left exhilarated by late night sessions reiterating their team’s absolute dominance. A 3-1 series defeat arguably flattered the hosts in what appeared a mismatched contest. But for an uneasy few days in the first test and Mitchell Johnson’s devastating spell with the ball during the third in Perth, which brought about England’s only loss, victory was almost unnervingly easy. Where was the famous Australian aggression and tenacity? Where were England’s infamous batting collapses? Where was the cocky and colourful Aussie support? In almost every aspect, England were outstanding, while their nemesis looked distinctly and uncharacteristically average. At times, the Australians were so evidently demoralised that an unusual feeling seemed to be stoked among the English supporters: pity, even for a foe that had so long tormented Image: Dom McKenzie them. Nevertheless, it was a delicious feeling, born of a knowledge that sympathy would only intensify Australian self-loathing. Ricky Ponting epitomised the below-par nature of the Australian performance; by his standards, he was quite simply abysmal. For such a player to be tarnished with three Ashes defeats is little short of catastrophic in terms of his legacy. The blame should not be laid solely at the feet of the captain, however; his teammates did little to soften the blows. Even the batting of the seemingly indomitable Mike Hussey appeared to falter as the series drew to a close. The Australian bowlers also offered little. Peter Siddle was perhaps the only pace-man to emerge with his reputation intact and, as for the spinners, suffice to say that an aging and overweight Shane Warne would have walked back into the side. But let us delight in the English success story. Few would dispute Alistair Cook’s man of the series award; his impervious batting allowed the visitors to stamp their authority on more than one occasion. The quality of the opening that he offered, alongside captain Andrew Strauss, was such that England won three times by a margin of more than an innings. Strauss himself deserves praise, not only for his displays with the bat, but also for his calm, dignified presence which has instilled belief and stability in the England team following Kevin Pietersen’s unsettling and controversial regime as captain. Strauss was heavily criticised by former captains when he chose to sit out last year’s tests against Bangladesh, but his decision has been thoroughly vindicated; in an age of relentless cricket, he has shown the value of taking time out. England’s bowlers also excelled themselves. Jimmy Anderson in particular was world class; the Lancastrian bamboozled the Australian batsmen with his swing bowling and, through his leadership, ensured the success of a four-man bowling strategy. All played their part, however; Chris Tremlett and Tim Bresnan bounced and spat, Graeme Swann demonstrated why he is regarded as the world’s best spin bowler, Steven Finn showed his promise, and Stuart Broad endeavoured hard before injury cut short his tour. Last but certainly not least, Andy Flower must be acknowledged. His training camp in Germany proved an excellent exercise in team bonding, and contributed to the creation of the close-knit squad we saw in Australia. He forged an effective partnership with Strauss which provided the solid foundations for a successful tour. All in all, we witnessed a brilliant display from England down under. The only question that remains now is as to whether such form can be carried into the shorter game. The Thursday, January 20th, 2010 CambridgeStudent Sport Comment|29 A culture of cheating: where does it end? How should officials deal with rule-breaking in professional rugby? Sarah Binning asks. It is increasingly easy for rule-breakers to escape undisciplined. McCaw will know how often cheating is praised as ‘great back row play’. The culture is one in which any action, legal or illegal, that gains a team an advantage sees players showered with praise. In the professional era, where results make or break careers, this is hardly surprising. When winning is everything, it’s understand- able that players and coaches are prepared to do whatever it takes to secure victory. However, if all the infringements mentioned above are now ubiquitous in the professional game, and every team cheats to a roughly equal degree, then surely the impact of cheating is nullified. If this is the case, where does it leave referees? What can they do to combat a culture that shrugs its shoulders and accepts cheating as an inevitability? Perhaps it’s time for a healthy dose of pragmatism. When everybody’s breaking the same rules the same amount, maybe it’s time to accept that attempts to enforce those rules no longer serve any useful purpose. Surely consistent non-enforcement would be both fairer than the situation we have now, and more realistic than expecting referees to spot every infraction. More than this, clamping down on infringements that players are used to getting away with will make the game even more disjointed than it already is. With scrums already eating up endless valuable time and leading to countless free kicks and penalties, surely stricter law enforcement and further punishments would not be desirable for players or spectators. We’ve reached the stage where cheating seems to be accepted, and Image: Arun Marsh Since time immemorial, rugby players have tried to get away with as many misdemeanours as possible. That’s part of how the game works – players attempt to bend the rules, and the referee must keep them in line. Recently, however, it seems players have been getting away with more and more. Scrum halves feed the ball into the second row, hookers throw crookedly at the line-out, and half the team seems to be offside from kickoff, yet with no punishment; it seems increasingly easy for rule-breakers to escape undisciplined. And that’s without even mentioning infringements at the breakdown. Here, rule-breaking seems not only to be accepted, but to be positively encouraged. Anyone who’s ever watched the exploits of a certain Mr expected, by all involved in professional rugby. Perhaps it’s time we stopped complaining, gave outdated rules up for lost, and moved on. It’s worth turning a blind eye rather than compromising the quality of rugby Turning a blind eye is a way to further destroy the game. we watch each week, isn’t it? No, it isn’t. Turning a blind eye is a way to further destroy the game, not to save it. Simple psychology suggests that the more you let people get away with, the more they’ll try to get away with – take the example of spoilt children (or, indeed, footballers). Once you start disregarding transgressions, it’s a slippery slope. Of course, clamping down may cause problems in the short term – players, and most likely fans, will complain – and referees are still going to miss the odd offence, but officials nonetheless can, and should, do more to stamp out the complacency that is currently endemic in the professional game. It is the responsibility of officials to make it clear where the boundaries are, and to punish players who overstep them. That is the only way they can effectively protect the integrity of the sport. Sport as revolution: Vichy France in focus Cameron Johnston In twenty-first century Britain, mention of a sports stadium conjures certain images in the mind: Old Trafford or Anfield on a Saturday afternoon; men clutching beer in plastic cups and curried chips on polystyrene trays; abuse being hurled at highlypaid athletes on the pitch below; and a crowd in ecstasy as the net ripples. Contrast that image with one of serried ranks of girls keeping step as they parade alongside a running track, their right arms raised in salute to the onlooking government minister. The year is 1941; war rages on, and for these girls in defeated France, there is only life under authoritarian Vichy rule. At first glance, it seems there could be no greater contrast. In the former image, men attend the game of their own volition, for the spectacle and to watch their team win. In the latter, individual choice plays no part, as the girls are subsumed within a group and subjected to the will of a government representative. Seventy years may separate the two scenes, but are they really so different? For Norbert Elias and Eric Denning, the tennis court and football The tennis court and football pitch have been significant ideological battlegrounds throughout history. pitch have been significant ideological battlegrounds throughout history. In 18th century Britain, gentlemen fostered an ethos of reservation and self control. To cry, kick one’s legs, or bite was to be childish and devoid of reason. But as industrialisation took hold, and great soulless cities were born, an outlet was needed. People turned to sport in order to give free rein to their emotions – to revel in them, and to purge them. Sport began to perform the same function as Dionysian tragedy in ancient Greece, acting as a safety valve on the pressure cooker of human emotion. The extremes of emotion experienced during a game allow one to tolerate the uniformity and anonymity of the modern world. The potential for governments to harness such feelings, however, became clear in Vichy France. Sport came to be seen as a means to inculcate in the young values of discipline, sacrifice, hierarchy, male virility, female subjection, a rejection of the city, and an embrace of nature. It was believed that, in the words of Ernest Loisel, “sport, well directed, is morality in action.” To this end, Jean Borotra was appointed Commissioner for Sport and Physical Education. He was the ideal man for the job – not only had he led his country to six successive Davis Cup titles between 1927 and 1932, but he was also the last great exemplar of the aristocratic spirit, believing that sport had to be ‘désintéressé’ to be truly elevating. Through the Sports Charter of 1940, he sounded the death knell of professional sport and subjected sporting associations to the will of state. Thereafter, the state was free to judge athletes on its own terms, and did so – French Jewish swimmer Alfred Nakache, having defeated the German champion en route to a breaststroke world record in 1941, was banned from his sport and sent to Auschwitz. Despite struggling to feed or clothe the French people, the Vichy government increased the budget for physical education from 50 million to 2 billion francs, and heavily subsidised the construction of sports fields. These fields were soon teeming with children marching in unison, performing strictly prescribed exercises, and singing, under a regime seeking to resurrect the ‘true France’. By distancing children from corrupt cities, returning them to the soil, and encouraging them to replicate ‘all the movements that primitive man performed to survive’, officials hoped to mould children in line with the Vichy ideals of hierarchy and order, rejecting the individualism of the 1930s. It is likely that through undernourishment, tiredness, or apathy, most French children failed to imbibe the ideological content of sport, but the case of Vichy France reminds us how governments can and do use sport for their own ends. For an example closer to home, note the money and energy Tony Blair and Gordon Brown invested in sport, and in particular the 2012 Olympics, as industry began to wane and the nation headed towards a financial crisis. We can similarly consider how football matches have been used for recruitment to the English Defence League, or look at the Serbian fascists who meet at football games to riot, to see how political ideology and sport remain intertwined. We may casually refer to football as ‘the beautiful game’, and golf as ‘a good walk spoiled’, but we should never underestimate their political potential. The CambridgeStudent Thursday, January 20th, 2010 30| Sport Blues footballers ease past poor Worcester 4 Worcester 0 Ryan McCrickerd The first Blues football game of 2011 saw CUAFC host Worcester University in the 3rd round of the BUCS Cup on Sunday. Having fallen at the last hurdle of the same competition in 2010, but also after hitting seven in the previous round, the Blues jogged onto a heavy Grange Road pitch eager to dispatch a coach-lagged Worcester side. The game started slowly as the teams, and referee, adjusted to awkward conditions underfoot. Shins and knee-caps were battered in the midfield, although Kerrigan managed to create a few chances down the right, linking neatly with Broadway, Hakimi, and Sherif. Such promising plays, however, were consistently broken down by a dogged Worcester defence. Frustration built for Cambridge, who were returning from a week in La Manga, and found they couldn’t zip the ball around as sharply as they had been able to on the flawless Spanish turf. Day and Revell kept a high and tight defence, however, and accordingly Worcester were restrict- The Blues peppered the opposition box from out wide. nice inter-changes between the midfield and strike force, Sherif, who had somehow managed to attract three defenders and the goalkeeper, only had to find McCrickerd inside him for the second of the game. In an apparent moment of madness, however, he instead found touch. The first half ended quietly, and Cambridge went in at the break with a narrow lead. Image: James Pearson Cambridge ed to long shots which Boyde, fresh from his ritualistic gym session, excitedly gobbled up. A breakthrough came after 20 minutes when Sherif, perhaps in frustration with the deadlock, seemed to simply decide that he was going to score. Picking the ball up on the left just inside the opposition half, he glided smoothly past Worcester’s defence, who could only watch in admiration as he waltzed into the box, and calmly curled the ball into the far right of the goal for the opener. Worcester continued to take optimistic pot-shots and on one occasion, after some confusion down the Cambridge right, Boyde was forced to make a splendid save, tipping a powerful shot over the bar. Shell-shocked, the Blues attacked more aggressively and, after some After the interval, despite facing the wind and an injury worry over midfielder Broadway, Cambridge’s play picked up. Peacock began to link well with Kerrigan, Hakimi started to dominate the midfield, and Baxter and Griffiths found some space down the left. Worcester, meanwhile, were clearly tiring, and began to give away sloppy free-kicks, from which both Day and Griffiths came close with their heads. Baxter was marauding forward skilfully, but was clearly frustrated, perhaps by Griffiths’s lack of cover; during one Worcester attack, he cleared the ball high into the air and caught it in his arms, shouting aggressively at the referee. CLUBS AND SOCS STASH in association with Shirtworks has donated 200 Shirtworks has donated 200 si t y ca m i dge u n i v er br n Cambridge as giveaways.University To claim your FREE T-SHIRT simply pop into the Lion Jockey Club T shirts CUSU office reception, Old Examination Hall, ub lio jo Cambridge University Lion Jockey T shirts l ck e y c IN ASSOCIATION WITH SHIRTWORKS.CO.UK New Museum Site, Free School lane, EXLUSIVELY FOR CLUB AND SOCIETY REPS Cambridge CB2 3RF. 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Shirtworks has been supplying University Students with club/society stash for over 20 years. T shirts, Hooded Sweats, Sports clothing etc, etc....... FREEPHONE 0800 0725334 [email protected] www.shirtworks.co.uk As the pace of the game slowed, Cambridge’s midfield and forwards drifted apart and Worcester found space. It was not long, however, before the Blues were able to add a second. Peacock, staying cool, played a clever ball to McCrickerd, as both Sherif and Griffiths ran on in channels. McCrickerd bent the ball into Sherif ’s path, putting him through on goal. His first strike hit the post, but fortunately returned into the path of Griffiths, who volleyed clinically past the on-looking goalkeeper. Worcester heads began to drop, and as Anderson, Rouse and Totten came on, Cambridge only looked sharper. Rouse and Totten continued to torment the opposing left-back, and consistently whipped effective balls across the face of goal. Anderson comfortably filled the gap behind the strikers and more chances came. The Blues peppered the opposition box from out wide, and from the third corner of the half McCrickerd found captain Day, who headed it back across goal and past the stationary goalkeeper to make it three. A couple of errors followed as the condition of the pitch worsened, but Cambridge continued to press. Day rounded a handful of midfielders, and found Sherif ’s feet before McCrickerd, bouncing the ball off Totten who had tucked in nicely from the right, gained possession. Turning the last defender, he was tripped from behind and awarded a penalty. Worcester’s goalkeeper employed the rather dubious tactic of standing only a foot or so away from his left post whilst reassuring the university’s best penalty taker, Mark Baxter, that he should shoot into the other corner. Unflustered, Baxter tucked the ball into the left of the goal, as the keeper had suggested, for Cambridge’s fourth. The last 10 minutes were quiet but saw Revell and Day remain strong at the back, Hakimi continue to dictate the midfield, and Anderson create more chances; Sherif shot over the bar from a late corner. CUAFC will now look forward to the next round with some optimism. Light Blues step up Boat Race preparations Tom Smith Sports Editor Cambridge University Boat Club has appointed 29-year-old Australian Mark Beer as Assistant Coach to Steve Trapmore ahead of the 157th Boat Race, which takes place on 26 March. He leaves his position as Head Coach at Jesus College, which he has occupied for the past three years. Chief Coach Trapmore was full of praise for his new counterpart: “Mark is a great addition to the team at CUBC. He combines a superb technical eye with deep understanding of sports science. Mark is clearly passionate about developing elite student athletes at CUBC. I very much look forward to working with him.” To further aid preparations for his first Boat Race, Trapmore also enlisted the help of Rowley Douglas, his cox in the gold medal-winning GB eight at the 2000 Olympic Games, to coach at a winter training camp on Lake Banyoles. Just prior to this, ‘Shake’ beat ‘Bake’ by four lengths on the Thames in the trial eights race. Shake took an early one-seat lead along the Putney Embankment, driven by a solid rhythm from last year’s Goldie stroke Joel Jennings. Bake, stroked by Jennings’s fellow 2010 Goldie man Mike Thorp, reached a marginally higher rate, but could not produce quite the same effectiveness in the water. Bake cox Liz Box was cautioned by the umpire as the crews nearly moved together early on, but the flag was out to warn Shake steersman Tom Field- man on the Fulham corner. Fieldman responded, moving out on his station, but Box could not get her stern round in time to avoid a clash of oars. The contact clearly disrupted Bake, who lost their rhythm and slipped back such that by the Milepost, Shake had a half-length advantage, which they extended through difficult water along the Harrods wall. Shake further tightened their grip on the race through Hammersmith Bridge and took full control for the remainder. The rates came up as the crews reached calmer water around St Paul’s School and, though both began to row better, the margin lengthened and Shake completed a convincing victory. “It was great to see them perform under the pressure of racing, and we got a lot out of it”, said Trapmore afterwards. “It was nice to watch Shake, and they will have gained a lot of confidence from it, but hats off to Bake who, although a lighter crew, kept pushing and coming back and showing a real fighting spirit.” Meanwhile, in Oxford’s trial eights, held an hour later, ‘Nurture’ beat ‘Nature’ in a close race which almost saw a dramatic fightback; Nature ultimately lost by less than a length. Oxford have a distinct disadvantage in terms of choice and experience coming into this year’s Boat Race, but the Cambridge crew will be well aware that this means little, having won from a similar position in 2010. The races will no doubt have provided food for thought for both crews as they continue their preparations for the big day. The Thursday, January 20th, 2010 CambridgeStudent Sport|31 Stoic defence secures Dark Blue victory 21 Cambridge 10 Tom Wright A near faultless defensive display from the Dark Blues saw them reclaim bragging rights from Cambridge. They ran out comfortable winners at Twickenham, despite coming into the game having previously achieved only two wins this season, in comparison to the Light Blues’ nine. Both teams set out their attacking stalls from the off. Oxford favoured a powerful, direct approach, sending runner after runner pounding up the short channels, while Cambridge flashed the ball left and right, looking to skip round the Dark Blues with the expansive backline play that has become their trademark. It was, however, at first a cagey affair in which neither team could establish their authority. Both sides managed the occasional half-break but, each time, solid defences snuffed out any attacking spark; a solitary Oxford three-pointer was all that troubled the scorers for the first quarter of the game. Soon after, however, the Dark Blues came to life. Their powerful game A victory based on superb defence from start to finish. However, it proved their undoing as Fred Burdon rushed up and missed his tackle in the centres, allowing the Oxford backs to waltz in for another score. Cambridge ramped up the pressure after this ten minute purple patch for Oxford, demolishing their opponents in the scrum and gaining real impetus going forward. They camped themselves in the Oxford half, but were unable to capitalise. Hockey double-header brings disappointment for Blues Felix Styles A flurry of weather-related cancellations left the Blues hockey team sitting fourth in the East Premier League with two games in hand going into the winter break. They thus entered their first game of 2011 aiming to make up an 11-point deficit separating them from leaders Peterborough, knowing that they face the challenge of several double-header weekends this term, the first of which began on Saturday away to Crostyx. The London-based strugglers had already gone down twice to the men in light blue this season, in league and cup, and the trend looked set to continue when German import Constantin Boye slotted home just five minutes in. Cambridge then enjoyed the lion’s share of possession, and continued to surge forward with confidence. Dan Balding tapped in a loose ball to double the Blues’ lead on twenty minutes, before veteran defender David Madden made it 3-0 with a low drive from a short corner. The Blues looked comfortable; Balding and Madden were an assured presence at the back, while left-back Will “George” Harrison continued to feed frequent attacks. Disorganised Crostyx found themselves penned back in their own half, and Cambridge should have gone further ahead when a defense-splitting through-ball narrowly escaped forward Stuart Jackson. A solid first period was then, however, marred by an uncharacteristic defensive lapse on the stroke of half-time; an unmarked Crostyx forward was allowed to find the bottom right corner of Morrison’s net to pull one back. The second half saw a composed display from Cambridge but, while dominant in a midfield led by an impressive Rupert Allison, they were unable to make the difference in skill count in the final third. Coach James Waters could only look on in frustration as his side spurned numerous opportunities to extend their lead. Cambridge were made to pay for their profligacy ten minutes from time, when a rare purple-shirted counter-attack produced a goal from a short corner to bring the score back to 3-2. A nervy finish was then enveloped in controversy, as Crostyx were awarded a heavily disputed last-minute short corner. The ensuing drag flick hit Madden’s body and, although time had already been called, the umpire gave a penalty flick. The incensed Cambridge players surrounded the official, but the Crostyx striker was able to bring the two sides level with a low flick that evaded Morrison. Despite a promising team performance for long periods, it was overall a disappointing afternoon for the Blues, who will be wondering how a 3-0 lead was so easily thrown away. Sunday then saw them go down 5-4 to bottom side Blueherts, despite dominating possession. Goals came from Sam Grimshaw, Rupert Allison, and a brace from man-of-the-match Nick Parkes. Cambridge play host to undefeated Peterborough next week, now with a 10-point deficit to make up. Cambridge couldn’t convert pressure into points Image: Dominique Iste Oxford plan paid off as their attackers began to make hard yards in the tackle, and the resulting holes in the Light Blue defence allowed them their first try of the afternoon. A quick break down the right was dragged down by Cambridge near their twenty-two, but a clever ball slipped inside to Oxford wing Lu ke Jones left the defence hopelessly stretched. Jones couldn’t reach the line himself, but centre Alex Cheesman was able to dot down with relative ease after 24 minutes. The Light Blues’ work with Wales and British Lions defensive guru Shaun Edwards prior to the game was much publicised, as was their adoption of his much-vaunted “blitz” defence. Jimmy Richards missed one penalty, before scoring another on the stroke of halftime to take Cambridge in 15-3 down. The second half began in much the same vein as the first, with both teams settling into a defensive stalemate. Promising moves by both sides were killed by handling errors at crucial moments; in particular, Cambridge blew a golden opportunity for a score thanks to a forward pass. The Light Blues continued to dominate the scrum, however, and were rewarded with their first and only try of the match; referee Andrew Small finally lost patience with a flood of Oxford infringements in the scrum, Dejected: Blues after the match and called for a Cambridge penalty try. Richards converted to bring Cambridge to within five points of the lead. That, however, was as close as they would get. The rest of the game saw prolonged Cambridge dominance in terms of possession and territory, but failure to convert this pressure into points. Oxford claimed the last two scores of the game – two penalties – to bring the final score to 21-10. This was a Dark Blue victory built on superb defence from start to finish, which left the usually sparkling Cambridge backs, in particular mercurial fly-half Greg Cushing, thoroughly shack- led and chasing the game as temperatures plummeted. There were no complaints from the Light Blue camp following the defeat, only stoic praise from Richards: “The boys never stopped giving, right to the end, which is great to see.” Earlier in the day at Twickenham, Cambridge had secured a convincing victory in the Under-21s Varsity clash. They won by 20 points to 5, with two tries from winger Will Smith and a drop-goal by Steve Townsend on the scoreboard. There are, then, clearly plenty of reasons to be optimistic about future Varsity matches despite this season’s disappointment. The CambridgeStudent SPORT Thursday, 20th January 2011 Image: James Pearson Fairbairns in Lent? Surely not... Victory for women’s rugby Blues Cambridge 25 Moseley 17 Skylar Neil Selwyn men’s VIII push on in the foreground while, behind, First and Third M2’s unsuccessful attempt to overtake Churchill costs them well over a minute. Fran O’Brien Deputy Sports Editor There was an unfamiliar addition to the Lent Term rowing calendar as the Fairbairn Cup, traditionally the closing race of Michaelmas, took place yesterday. The 4.3km downstream slog had been postponed in December due to freezing conditions. Thankfully, much improved weather and a fast stream contributed to some good times, with both the men’s and women’s winning college VIIIs completing the course quicker than last year’s victors. Notably, however, the rescheduling of the event meant that this year’s crews had to cope with severe interruptions to pre-race training. The only university boat to enter, the men’s Lightweight VIII, was predictably fastest and improved upon 2010’s result by 14 seconds. Caius won the men’s college VIII event in 13 minutes and 36 seconds, and Newnham put in a dominant performance to take the women’s title in 15:48; one bankside observer at Chesterton commented “they look exhausted!”, which was clearly a positive sign. Queens’ continued their Much improved weather and a fast stream contributed to some good times. Michaelmas Term form to win both the men’s 1st and 2nd IVs, admittedly against a small field of competitors. Meanwhile, First and Third were the fastest women’s college IV, beaten only by an invitational 1927 crew, the alumni club for Oxford and Cambridge University women. There was some dissatisfaction with Jesus’s organisation of the event, with complaints made on the university-wide rowing forum about the way they handled the change of date. Many chose to withdraw from the event after its initial cancellation, and some felt that JCBC made the matter of refunds unnecessarily complicated. On the day, there were minimal delays, but with 64 crews across the three divisions, compared with 145 last year, there would have been little excuse for hold-ups. Robinson did not enter either a women’s or a men’s VIII. Girton and Queen’s M1 and Clare and Caius W1 also withdrew. Crews with a strong Natural Sciences contingent may have fought to scratch a crew but been missing anyone at their ‘Physics of the Earth as a planet’ exam taking place simultaneously. The novice racing did go ahead last December over a shortened course, although not without controversy as the victory for the men’s 1st novice VIII category was awarded not just to the fastest crew from Jesus, but also to Downing. The latter had technically finished 8th, over 30 seconds behind Jesus, but were judged to have been “severely impeded”. Meanwhile, Jesus took undisputed victory with their women’s 1st novices as well as their men’s 2nd novice crew. Only Emmanuel prevented a Jesus clean sweep by winning the women’s 2nd novice VIII category. Attention now turns to the remaining events of Lent Term, with the Head-to-Head next weekend, and Newnham Short Course, Robinson Head, and Pembroke Regatta comprising the three warm-up events on the Cam before Lent Bumps commence on 1 March. Some of the top crews will wish to improve their Fairbairns performance; in particular, First and Third M1 will be looking to retain the headship by holding off There was some dissatisfaction with Jesus’s organisation. a Downing crew who did not enter Fairbairns. Newnham’s Fairbairns win might be the sign of a strong term ahead, but some of the top women’s clubs will be hoping to step up their game before the bumping begins. After a month’s winter break, Cambridge began preparations for their forthcoming Varsity match positively with a decisive win over Moseley last Sunday. Despite wet and cold conditions, the ladies in light blue held their own against a much larger and more experienced Moseley side. Although Cambridge maintained possession for most of the first half, Moseley were able to take advantage of a rusty defence to put down two early tries in the corner. The Light Blues were not willing to stand down, however, and winger Kat Emerson had soon scored two tries of her own to level things up. By the second half, Cambridge’s superior fitness began to pay off against a flagging Moseley side, and Emerson took another one over the line from a breakaway to put Cambridge 15-10 ahead. Two more breakaway tries were scored by number 10 Anne Venner as holes in the Moseley defence started to become more apparent. Moseley never relented in their aggression, however, and their efforts were rewarded with a try in the final minute, which was then converted. Although there was much for Cambridge to take away from this game, they will be pleased that they were able to keep up their winning streak, following on from the end of Michaelmas term, despite weather postponements and the winter break. Moreover, their struggles at the beginning of the season with putting points on the board seem to have been resolved, with an average of four tries per game being scored over the last four matches. Number four Rici Marshall was nominated Cambridge ‘Forward of the Match’, while Venner was elected both Cambridge ‘Back of the Match’ and Moseley’s ‘Opposing Player of the Match’. The Light Blue ladies continue to look forward to their Varsity match, which takes place in Cambridge on March 5. Their preparations will be rigorous, with a busy fixture list ahead as they seek to avoid the same fate as their male counterparts. INSIDE THIS WEEK’S ISSUE: CRICKET: RUGBY UNION: HISTORY: FOOTBALL: VARSITY RUGBY: Reflecting on England’s Ashes victory Page 28 What can be done about a culture of cheating? Page 29 The significance of sport in Vichy France Page 29 Comprehensive victory for the men’s Blues Page 30 Dogged Oxford defeat brave Light Blues Page 31